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A comprehensive guide to intimacy through greater self-awareness—for those who want more loving, passionate, and liberating monogamous relationships Intimate relationship has long been viewed and lived as a lesser alternative to spiritual life. More recently, the need to integrate our spiritual and intimate lives, rather than maintaining separate spheres and relationships on autopilot, has become increasingly apparent. Given the high rates of infidelity and divorce, it would seem that the possibilities of freedom through intimacy have not been explored in much depth. Too often we pull away when relationships become difficult, missing out on the rewards of connecting more profoundly. The passage from immature to mature monogamy is not only a journey of ripening intimacy with a partner, but also a journey into and through zones of ourselves that may be very difficult to accept and integrate with the rest of our being. Transformation through Intimacy explores intimate relationships through a four-stage lens: me-centered, we-centered codependent, we-centered coindependent, and being-centered. Bringing his many years of experience as a psychotherapist and spiritual practitioner to the subject, relationship expert and integral psychoterhapist Robert Augustus Masters shows readers not only how to navigate the thickets of reactivity, conflict, shame, anger, fear, and doubt, but how to understand them in a new light so that a deeper level of relating to oneself and one’s partner becomes possible, opening new levels of trust, commitment, and love.
A comprehensive guide to intimacy through greater self-awareness—for those who want more loving, passionate, and liberating monogamous relationships Intimate relationship has long been viewed and lived as a lesser alternative to spiritual life. More recently, the need to integrate our spiritual and intimate lives, rather than maintaining separate spheres and relationships on autopilot, has become increasingly apparent. Given the high rates of infidelity and divorce, it would seem that the possibilities of freedom through intimacy have not been explored in much depth. Too often we pull away when relationships become difficult, missing out on the rewards of connecting more profoundly. The passage from immature to mature monogamy is not only a journey of ripening intimacy with a partner, but also a journey into and through zones of ourselves that may be very difficult to accept and integrate with the rest of our being. Transformation through Intimacy explores intimate relationships through a four-stage lens: me-centered, we-centered codependent, we-centered coindependent, and being-centered. Bringing his many years of experience as a psychotherapist and spiritual practitioner to the subject, relationship expert and integral psychoterhapist Robert Augustus Masters shows readers not only how to navigate the thickets of reactivity, conflict, shame, anger, fear, and doubt, but how to understand them in a new light so that a deeper level of relating to oneself and one’s partner becomes possible, opening new levels of trust, commitment, and love.
The sexual revolution: an evocative term, but what meaning can be given to it today? How does 'sexuality' come into being and what connections does it have with the changes that have affected personal life on a more general plane? In answering these questions, Anthony Giddens disputes many of the dominant interpretations of the role of sexuality in modern culture. The emergence of what the author calls plastic sexuality - sexuality freed from its intrinsic relation to reproduction - is analysed in terms of the long-term development of the modern social order and social influences of the last few decades. Giddens argues that the transformation of intimacy, in which women have played the major part, holds out the possibility of a radical democratization of the personal sphere. This book will appeal to a large general audience as well as being essential reading for students and professionals.
Emotions link our feelings, thoughts, and conditioning at multiple levels, but they may remain a largely untapped source of strength, freedom, and connection. The capacity to be intimate with all our emotions, teaches Robert Augustus Masters, is essential for creating fulfilling relationships and living with awareness, love, and integrity. With Emotional Intimacy, this respected therapist and author invites us to explore: How to deepen our emotional literacy and become intimate with all our emotionsThe nature of emotional disconnection and what to do about itHow to identify our emotions, fully experience them, and skillfully express themIlluminating, resolving, and healing old emotional woundsGender differences in emotional intimacy and expressionSteps for bringing greater emotional intimacy and depth into our relationshipsIn-depth guidance for those facing depression, anxiety, and shameWhy "blowing off steam" may make us feel worse, and the nature of healthy catharsisThe difference between anger and aggression, shame and guilt, jealousy and envyIndividual chapters for fully engaging with fear, anger, joy, jealousy, shame, grief, guilt, awe, and the full spectrum of our emotions There are no negative or unwholesome emotions—only negative or harmful things we do with them. Through real life examples, exercises, and an abundance of key insights, Masters provides a lucid guide for reclaiming our emotions, relating to them skillfully, and turning them into allies—to enrich and deepen our lives.
In the tradition of Thomas Moore, Jungian analyst and lecturer Guy Corneau delivers a hopeful message that will help us move beyond the gender wars to a new era of personal fulfillment. With engaging anecdotes and mythical references, he instructs us to look into ourselves and create our own guiding principles. He then suggests how we can achieve our aspirations through meaningful relationships with those who challenge us to test and fulfill them.
This book presents an integrative, growth-oriented approach to therapy with couples that demonstrates the dynamic interplay between partners’ emotional issues and their sexual difficulties. It offers a model for relational and sexual enhancement that focuses as much on partners’ present, nonverbal body-to-body communications as on their words. Dr. Stella Resnick draws on research from interpersonal neurobiology, sexology, positive psychology, and Gestalt therapy, and shares a rich assortment of therapy vignettes to demonstrate the transformative power of pleasure and how a focus on body-to-body intimacy can heal emotional wounds from the past and encourage greater presence, empathy, authenticity, playfulness, and sexual pleasure between intimate partners. The therapeutic process is explored in four related spectrums: the Problem-Transformation Spectrum, the Attachment-Sexuality Spectrum, the Pain-Pleasure Spectrum, and the Cognitive-Somatic-Experiential-Behavioral-Spectrum. Part I lays the theoretical foundation for the work. Part II examines the early attachment bond between parent and child and its effects on adult capacity for emotional closeness and sexual pleasure. Part III offers methods for resolving painful emotional issues underlying many sexual difficulties. Finally, Part IV describes the procedure for moving from a cognitive reframing of the problem to a somatic focus on the body and tracking present-moment emotional interactions to the repair of relational injuries that nurture transformational change. Also included is a series of process-oriented exercises and a handout that therapists can use in their own practice. Body-to-Body Intimacy will enable couples and sex therapists to expand their practices and enrich their clients’ sexual and relational dynamics. This book also contains valuable information that will be appreciated by anyone interested in a greater understanding of a growth-oriented therapeutic process for couples and what can be achieved together by gaining a deeply loving and sexually fulfilling intimate love relationship.
“A wonderfully significant and important book.” —Ken Wilber, The Integral Vision “A timely and penetrating analysis of spirituality’s shadow.” —Stephen Batchelor, Buddhism without Beliefs A spiritual teacher and integral psychotherapist offers a first-of-its-kind study on how we use—and abuse—spiritual beliefs and practices, revealing how to identify and move beyond what holds us back from living life fully. Spiritual bypassing—the use of spiritual beliefs to avoid dealing with painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs—is so pervasive that it goes largely unnoticed. The spiritual ideals of any tradition, whether Christian commandments or Buddhist precepts, can provide easy justification for practitioners to duck uncomfortable feelings in favor of more seemingly enlightened activity. When split off from fundamental psychological needs, such actions often do much more harm than good. While other authors have touched on the subject, this is the first book fully devoted to spiritual bypassing. In the lineage of Chögyam Trungpa’s landmark Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, Spiritual Bypassing provides an in-depth look at the unresolved or ignored psychological issues often masked as spirituality, including self-judgment, excessive niceness, and emotional dissociation. A longtime psychotherapist with an engaging writing style, Masters furthers the body of psychological insight into how we use (and abuse) religion in often unconscious ways. This book will hold particular appeal for those who grew up with an unstructured new-age spirituality now looking for a more mature spiritual practice, and for anyone seeking increased self-awareness and a more robust relationship with themselves and others.
The purpose of writing this book is to create an awareness that life is a journey that has a starting point in life and an end. Man, in his finite mind, need an infinite mind, which helps in both spiritual and mental development. This book is primarily intended to educate young Christians in faith to which steps to make toward spiritual and mental maturity. In other words, simplicity of theology. I trust that the chapters and pages in this book will revolutionize the reader to seek God’s purpose in this earthily and heavenly life. And you and I are of those people God want to impart his divine power so that we can live lives of abundance of knowledge and prosperity. Knowing God intellectually is not enough until the soul and spirit become captives of divinity. Spirit-filled Christians in all circumstances and situations seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance, putting carnal mind into the subjective will of God. Therefore, spiritual and mental transformation is vital: not reformation. For spiritual and mental transformation leads to another image, in the likeness of God. Another feature of this book is of shaping the soul, mind, and spirit in order to live above the earthly distractions, which enslaves us and subjects us to feel defeated in our endeavors. Victory and success lie upon the obedience of the sound scriptures: “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Tim. 2:15). “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thy mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success” (Josh. 1:8). Obedience pleases God at all times and provokes his blessings to fall upon his faithful servants. Therefore, obedience is cardinal virtue from the regeneration to generation until the translation into heaven. I would recommend this book to all those who seek Christian lifestyle.
I’ve got it all—a great job, relationship, and lifestyle—so why do I feel so dissatisfied and disconnected? Why am I not happier in my intimate relationships? How do I become more powerful—without becoming that jerk everyone dislikes? Robert Augustus Masters has helped thousands of men address and work through such issues. What he’s found is that the common solution to these dilemmas is challenging yet clear: we must face our unresolved wounds, shame, and whatever else is holding us back, bringing “our head, heart, and guts into full-blooded alignment.” With To Be a Man, this acclaimed psychotherapist and relationship expert offers a groundbreaking and deeply insightful guide to masculine power and fulfillment. To Be a Man clarifies what’s needed to enter a manhood as strongly empowered as it’s vulnerable, as emotionally literate as it’s unapologetically alive—a manhood at home with truly intimate relationship. In this book, readers will explore: • How your past may be dominating your present • Shame in its healthy and unhealthy forms, and how to make wise use of it • How vulnerability can be a source of strength • Emotional literacy—an essential skill for relational well-being • Releasing sex from the obligation to make you feel better • How to disempower your inner critic • Bringing your shadow (whatever you’ve disowned in yourself) out of the dark • Embodying your natural heroism and persisting regardless of fear • What women need from men • Understanding and outgrowing pornography • Entering the heartland of true masculine power If you’ve read your share of popular advice on relationships and being a man—but realize on a gut level that it’s going to take some serious inner work—here’s a great guide to that most rewarding of challenges: doing what’s needed to fully embody your authentic manhood.
This book provides a long-overdue account of online technology and its impact on the work and lifestyles of professional employees. It moves between the offices and homes of workers in the knew "knowledge" economy to provide intimate insight into the personal, family, and wider social tensions emerging in today’s rapidly changing work environment. Drawing on her extensive research, Gregg shows that new media technologies encourage and exacerbate an older tendency among salaried professionals to put work at the heart of daily concerns, often at the expense of other sources of intimacy and fulfillment. New media technologies from mobile phones to laptops and tablet computers, have been marketed as devices that give us the freedom to work where we want, when we want, but little attention has been paid to the consequences of this shift, which has seen work move out of the office and into cafés, trains, living rooms, dining rooms, and bedrooms. This professional "presence bleed" leads to work concerns impinging on the personal lives of employees in new and unforseen ways. This groundbreaking book explores how aspiring and established professionals each try to cope with the unprecedented intimacy of technologically-mediated work, and how its seductions seem poised to triumph over the few remaining relationships that may stand in its way.