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In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Clinton McLemore— a leading expert on interpersonal relationships— gives you a powerful roadmap for promoting healthy and productive relationships. Toxic Relationships draws extensively from psychological research and Christian theology and is filled with practical strategies you can use to create better communication at home and at work. You will learn how to increase appreciation, tenderness, respect, comfort, and understanding in all of your relationships by recognizing the eight basic "default styles" that most of us use to respond to others. By using biblical examples, Dr. McLemore shows how we can change our own destructive behavior and influence the behavior of others by understanding these eight toxic strategies: Controlling Drifting Intruding Freeloading Humiliating Scurrying Victimizing Avoiding Create loving and healthy relationships using these proven methods for transforming toxic interactions with others.
A "Hand Up" for Women Stuck in the Toxic Love Rut Do romantic relationships leave you miserable and confused? Are you tired of getting into a relationship and as soon as the initial buzz is gone you get that sinking feeling that whispers, what am I doing? Did the new wear off as soon as the wedding bells rang? Experts say that we gravitate toward relationships within a ten-point spread of our own IQ. Likewise, in the realm of soul-health, we also attract those with whom we are most emotionally compatible. That can be a good thing, or a bad thing - it depends on how much baggage we carry around! What if there was a way to diagnose your soul-health and create a plan for improvement so you could enjoy more satisfying romantic relationships? Complete with an online Soul-Health Profile that will help you assess your own soul-health and identify areas of weaknesses, Love Junkies is just that - an action plan and detailed guide to help you eliminate toxic behaviors that jeopardize your soul health and keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships. You'll learn how to change your habits and heal your soul and most importantly, break the toxic relationship cycle! FOREWORD: By Shannon Ethridge, bestselling author of the Every Woman's Battle books with Steve Arterburn, and The Sexually Confident Woman.
What do we wish most for our children? Next to being healthy, we want them to be happy, of course! Fortunately, a wide array of scientific studies show that happiness is a learned behavior, a muscle we can help our children build and maintain. Drawing on what psychology, sociology, and neuroscience have proven about confidence, gratefulness, and optimism, and using her own chaotic and often hilarious real-world adventures as a mom to demonstrate do’s and don’ts in action, Christine Carter, Ph.D, executive director of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, boils the process down to 10 simple happiness-inducing steps. With great wit, wisdom, and compassion, Carter covers the day-to-day pressure points of parenting—how best to discipline, get kids to school and activities on time, and get dinner on the table—as well as the more elusive issues of helping children build healthy friendships and develop emotional intelligence. In these 10 key steps, she helps you interact confidently and consistently with your kids to foster the skills, habits, and mindsets that will set the stage for positive emotions now and into their adolescence and beyond. Inside you will discover • the best way avoid raising a brat—changing bad habits into good ones • tips on how to change your kids’ attitude into gratitude • the trap of trying to be perfect—and how to stay clear of its pitfalls • the right way to praise kids—and why too much of the wrong kind can be just as bad as not enough • the spirit of kindness—how to raise kind, compassionate, and loving children • strategies for inspiring kids to do boring (but necessary) tasks—and become more self-motivated in the process Complete with a series of “try this” tips, secrets, and strategies, Raising Happiness is a one-of-a-kind resource that will help you instill joy in your kids—and, in the process, become more joyful yourself.
It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to "kiss dating goodbye" but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating.
And Then They Lived Happily… We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together. But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment. Sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we’re good people at heart. That's natural: we're almost biologically primed to respond this way. Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship--one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring. Katherine Woodward Thomas's groundbreaking method, Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools for you to travel this challenging terrain with these five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps: Step 1: Find Emotional Freedom Step 2: Reclaim Your Power and Your Life Step 3: Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart Step 4: Become a Love Alchemist Step 5: Create Your Happy Even After Life This paradigm-shifting guide will steer you away from a bitter end and toward a new life that’s empowered and flourishing.
Lying. Cheating. Manipulating. Will they ever change? What will it take to get through to them? They apologized, but will this time be different...or will they just get better at hiding what they are up to? This book will help you get out of the fog of confusion and into the clarity you are looking for. FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt." These three emotions are often at the core of manipulation, and are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling their targets. However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well, and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going. The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel that they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. When a person is being manipulated they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disasterous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazymaking, people pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice--especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support group members, or a therapist. Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: "Who are you to judge?" "No one is perfect." "You need to forgive them." "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know." "Commitment is forever." What can be so crazymaking for targets is that they are often getting two very different messages. On one hand, they are told that they need to work towards a solution, and on the other, they are told that need to leave a partner who lies, cheats, steals, hits, yells, or belittles them. This book compares and contrasts of these concepts so that targets of any type of manipulation and abuse can make a more empowered decision. Some of the concepts covered are: Who are You to Judge vs. Being Discerning No One is Perfect vs. Tolerating Abuse You Need to Forgive Them vs. Keeping Yourself Safe A Parent vs. A Predator Commitment vs. Codependency Self-love vs. Selfishness A Person Acting the Part vs. A Person Actually Changing Gut Instincts vs. Hypervigilance A Friend vs. Someone Being Friendly Caring vs. Caretaking Being in Love With Them vs. Being in Love With Who They Pretended to Be Workable Behavior vs. Deal Breakers Acceptance vs. Allowance Going Through So Much Together vs. Being Put Through So Much By Them Sincerity vs. Intensity Healthy Bonding vs. Trauma Bonding Insincere Remorse vs. Sincere Remorse Reacting vs. Responding ...and many more.
As social creatures, we simply have the need to interact with one another for various reasons. And as you've probably experienced for yourself, not all the people you've had relationships with were ultimately good for you. For example, I imagine that sometime in your past you've known someone who regularly irritated you, another person who belittled you or otherwise diminished your self-esteem, and someone else who was manipulative or dishonest with you. Of course, no relationship is perfect since no individual person is perfect, and occasionally you need to strike a compromise in order to help a relationship develop into its full potential. Believe it or not, with enough effort from both sides, even seemingly hopeless relationships can be salvaged. With all that said, however, it's important to stand your ground when someone (especially someone who's important to you) starts to do more harm than good in your life. Unfortunately, relationships with the wrong people can adversely affect your daily life and even impact how you relate with other people in the future. Therefore, it's critical that you identify a toxic relationship as soon as possible, and make a change before it's too late. This book is designed to provide you with insight and clarity as to the health of your relationship, and it will help you come to terms with the fact that not all relationships are good for you in the long run. I'm also going to show you how to work towards repairing a broken relationship, and if it's beyond repair (or your partner is unwilling), how to prepare to let go. While most of the discussion here is directed toward romantic couples, you can certainly apply the same principles and strategies to relationships with family and close friends as well.
This book recounts the author's own spiritual journey out of harmful relationships with narcissists and other disordered people and provides hope for survivors. The characteristics of these personality disorders are explained. Twenty five healing practices are presented as well as the author's own experience using the practices and the Twelve Powers of Unity. The book is an honest look at the difficulties of pathological love and the need to embrace spiritual solutions in order to journey out of trauma to reclaiming one's self.
Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.
BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Dr. Susan Forward's Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. When you were a child... Did your parents tell you were bad or worthless? Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you? Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems? Were you frightened of your parents? Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret? Now that you are an adult... Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child? Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents? Do your parents control you with threats or guilt? Do they manipulate you with money? Do you feel that no matter what you do, it's never good enough for your parents? In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward drawn on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents -- and discover an exciting new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.