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Banishment from his life’s calling can’t keep a comically overconfident detective down in the latest episode by New York Times bestseller Stephan Pastis. This book was never meant to exist. No one needs to know the details. Just know this: there’s a Merry, a Larry, a missing tooth, and a teachers’ strike that is crippling Timmy Failure’s academic future. Worst of all, Timmy is banned from detective work. It’s a conspiracy of buffoons. He recorded everything in his private notebook, but then the manuscript was stolen. If this book gets out, he will be grounded for life. Or maybe longer. And will Timmy’s mom really marry Doorman Dave?
Resolving to earn so much money that his mother will no longer stress out over the bills, eleven-year-old Timmy Failure launches a detective business with a lazy polar bear partner named Total but finds their enterprise "Total Failure, Inc." challenged by a college-bound spy and a four-foot-tall girl whom Timmy refuses to acknowledge.
"My name is Failure. Timmy Failure. And my detective agency is on the verge of global domination. And yet the gods keep throwing me curveballs. But one thing is for sure- Timmy Failure will be triumphant again!"--Back cover.
The complete collected memoirs of Timmy Failure are contained within this boxed set. That's seven episodes of New York Times best-selling greatness. You have been warned. Meet Timmy Failure. You may know him as the founder, president, and CEO of Total Failure, Inc. -- the best detective agency in town. Perhaps even the nation. Timmy's seen a lot in his eleven years. Maybe too much. But luckily for you, the tales of his genius have been recorded by Timmy himself. All seven of his comically overconfident capers, combining hilarity and heart, are now available together in a deceptively sweet, outrageously funny collection by Stephan Pastis, making the perfect gift for Timmy fans new and old. Includes: Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made Timmy Failure: Now Look What You've Done Timmy Failure: We Meet Again Timmy Failure: Sanitized for Your Protection Timmy Failure: The Book You're Not Supposed to Have Timmy Failure: The Cat Stole My Pants Timmy Failure: It's the End When I Say It's the End
Meet Timmy Failure, the founder, president, and CEO of the best detective agency in town, probably the nation. And his lazy sidekick, Total, a 1,500-pound polar bear.
Age Level: 4 to 8 | Grade Level: K to 4 What's a knight's greatest power? Stories, of course! From the beloved author/illustrator team behind The Snatchabook comes the ultimate storytime book about castles, knights, dragons, and the power of stories! Even dragons love a good story... Leo was a gentle knight in thought and word and deed. While other knights liked fighting, Leo liked to sit and read... When Leo's mom and dad pack him off to fight a dragon, he takes a shield, a sword—and a pile of his favorite books. But can a story be as mighty as a sword? This delightful rhyming story about books and the joy of reading is also perfect for kids who love dragon books, adventures, brave knights, and books about castles! An Autumn 2016 Kids Indie Next Pick A 2017-2018 SSYRA Jr. List Title Praise for The Snatchabook: #1 Indie Next Pick "I dare you to try to read The Snatch-a-book silently to yourself. You can't do it. The book is so wonderful it demands to be read out loud. And besides, if you didn't read the book out loud, how would the Snatch-a-book hear it?"—Caldecott Medalist Brian Selznick "This ever-so-sweet story begs to be read out loud." —Booklist " The gorgeous illustrations are a perfect match for the lively text. This book is a fabulous fit for both storytime and one-on-one reading. Children will be begging for this book to be read to them every night–clever ones will claim they want to keep the Snatchabook happy." —School Library Journal "The husband-and-wife team of the Dochertys have a winner in this heartwarming tribute to the essential role of bedtime reading in the lives of families." —Publishers Weekly "The story is sweet and the illustrations darling." —Kirkus "This whodunit with an uplifting ending will appeal to fans of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! . . . [it] celebrates bedtime reading as a ritual to be revered, and features a thief who merely wants to share in the fun." —Shelf Awareness Pro
Jamie Carpenter's father is dead, his mother is missing, and he was just rescued by an enormous creature named Frankenstein. Now Jamie is pulled into a secret organization responsible for policing the supernatural, founded more than a century ago by Abraham Van Helsing. . . . Department Nineteen takes us through history, across Europe, and beyond - from the cobbled streets of Victorian London to prohibition-era New York, from the icy wastes of Arctic Russia to the treacherous mountains of Transylvania. Part modern thriller, part classic horror, it's packed with mystery, mayhem, and a level of suspense that makes a Darren Shan novel look like a romantic comedy.
A lonely troll and a fierce, spiky girl form an unlikely alliance in Leonie Agnew's extraordinary novel for children aged 9 years and up. For as long as Seth can remember he’s been trapped behind the iron bars of the public gardens, desperate to explore the world outside. By day he’s frozen in a stone skin as a statue of a shepherd boy. As soon as the sun sets he’s free to roam the park, ravenously hungry. He’s a troll, and the food he seeks is human memories. But somehow he’s yearning for something more than an endless cycle of hunting and loneliness. Then he meets Stella, who has just moved to live with her grandfather in a house neighbouring the park. Her mind is sharp and quick and there’s something so different about her — she’s the only human Seth has met whose memories make his insides burn. He doesn’t want to feed off her. He simply wants to talk to her. Maybe she can help him find another way to live? Engrossing, spine-chilling and surprising, this is a novel that grabs the reader and holds them spellbound. What terrible memory is Stella trying to escape? What are the fragments of memory that Seth is trying to put together? And is there any possibility that Seth could escape the lonely garden and start truly living?
“Smart, fast, clever, and funny (As f*ck!)” (Tiffany Haddish), this collection of side-splitting and illuminating essays by the popular stand-up comedian, alum of Chelsea Lately and The Mindy Project, and host of truTV’s Talk Show the Game Show is perfect for fans of the New York Times bestsellers Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling and We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby. From a young age, Guy Branum always felt as if he were on the outside looking in. From a stiflingly boring farm town, he couldn’t relate to his neighbors. While other boys played outside, he stayed indoors reading Greek mythology. And being gay and overweight, he got used to diminishing himself. But little by little, he started learning from all the sad, strange, lonely outcasts in history who had come before him, and he started to feel hope. In this “singular, genuinely ballsy, and essential” (Billy Eichner) collection of personal essays, Guy talks about finding a sense of belonging at Berkeley—and stirring up controversy in a newspaper column that led to a run‑in with the Secret Service. He recounts the pitfalls of being typecast as the “Sassy Gay Friend,” and how, after taking a wrong turn in life (i.e. law school), he found stand‑up comedy and artistic freedom. He analyzes society’s calculated deprivation of personhood from fat people, and how, though it’s taken him a while to accept who he is, he has learned that with a little patience and a lot of humor, self-acceptance is possible. “Keenly observant and intelligent, Branum’s book not only offers uproarious insights into walking paths less traveled, but also into what self-acceptance means in a world still woefully intolerant of difference” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review). My Life as a Goddess is an unforgettable and deeply moving book by one of today’s most endearing and galvanizing voices in comedy.
Wendy the Wanderer's over-protective father never lets her go anywhere alone, so when he hires a babysitter, Wendy decides to venture out into Trubble Town alone where she meets Squirrelly McSquirell and other townsfolk.