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What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. As seen on the I.D. Discovery Channel, we are given an inside look into the mind of a killer and the ones he left behind. This book is much more though. It is a memoir of birth and rebirth, poverty and internal struggles. Written by a teacher, chronicling his rise from poverty to becoming a professional and the lessons he learned and tragic stories he witnessed along the way, beginning with his son's diagnosis of narcolepsy, moving from there through school shootings, murders, and the lessons stemming from simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The author's life chronicled in humor and sometimes despair, the end resulting in what was left—Throat Punch Lessons. You go out for a jog and end up in a trunk. Throat Punch. Wake up, put your pants on one leg at a time, and they don't fit anymore. Throat Punch. Your holiday party gets explosive and becomes a prison of flames. Throat Punch. Focused on getting to your next class, homework seems meaningless when bullets start flying and you catch one in the elbow. Throat Punch. Innocently navigating life, you wake up one day with an incurable disability. Throat Punch. Poverty becomes hard to ignore when you come back from the kitchen and a roach is about to burrow into your baby's eye. Throat Punch. Updates and Book Info: throatpunchlessons.com
"I considered myself a teacher right up to the moment they removed my voice box. After that, I wasn't sure." Drew Ross grew up as the typical lost and wandering latchkey kid. Along with his siblings, he shuffled from his mother to his grandparents, to his father, and back again. In the midst of a chaotic, ever-changing universe, he remained determined to find love and belonging, eventually doing his best to build his own happy family. But even though he was a teacher and preacher, Drew lost his marriage, career, and voice in the space of one horrible year. All the lessons he'd learned and taught others were powerless to help him hold it all together. While recovering in a hospital bed shortly after his voice box has been removed, a powerful encounter with a fellow cancer patient forces Drew to look at the pain of his past in a new light. Choosing to fight rather than to run and hide, he begins tracing the threads that are coming together to form the fabric of his future. By sharing a tapestry of heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and often hilarious lessons involving family, romance, and identity, How to Survive a Throat Punch is a call to everyone enduring hardship to share their victories and failures, and, in doing so, begin to fight for what matters most. Drew Ross has been teaching in one form or another for over 25 years. He has instructed groups in military, advertising, secondary education, ministry, and corporate settings. His students have gone on to found an advertising agency in Brazil, graduate from Harvard Law School, get commissioned in the US Army, and experience other amazing adventures. Drew hopes he had some small part to play in their stories. He lives and continues to teach and write in the hills of Northern Kentucky. How to Survive a Throat Punch is his first book.
If you could fast forward your life to your deathbed and hear your regrets (and joys), then rewind and live your life with that knowledge, would you do it? This book provides that knowledge. After fourteen years in the funeral business, Chris Meyer has sat with families and listened to their “could’ves,” “should’ves,” and “would’ves.” In doing so he learned many lessons—lessons that kept repeating themselves year after year. Meyer knew he could help a lot of people with this information. So he sat down and memorialized the lessons he learned to share with the world: some simple, some profound, some irreverent. Lessons from life, from death, from surviving. But make no mistake, this is NOT a story about dying…this is a story of living. This is…Life in 20 Lessons. Poignant. Funny. Filled with love.
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear
Jordan Shaw is one of the Mohiri’s best young warriors. Fearless and bold, she’s passionate about completing every job and living life to the fullest, even if that means breaking all the rules. When Jordan encounters a demon believed to have been killed off centuries ago, her discovery sends ripples up to the highest levels of the Mohiri. While they discuss how to face the biggest threat to humanity yet, she prepares herself for the mission of her life. She’s not afraid of danger or dying, and she’ll fight to the last breath to save her family. There’s just one problem – the frustratingly fierce male warrior who calls to her demon. In her heart, Jordan knows he’s her perfect match, but she has things to do before she’s bound to a mate. Like saving the world.
For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: • You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze • Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out? • Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year. Praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat “Mann’s writing has transcended from witty anecdotes and complaints to notable satire. Hidden among the many laugh-out-loud zingers are lessons on how we relate to each other, and how ridiculous parenting culture has become.”—Associated Press “Following the success of her first book, she is now punching throats at holidays, starting from her being age two and continuing to the present, where she is a harried mother bemoaning not just Christmas but all holidays. . . . Harried holiday haters will chuckle and perhaps see themselves somewhere in Mann’s lifetime dislike of and misbehavior during America’s increasingly commercialized celebrations.”—Booklist “The cure for my cold holiday spirit this year is the sidesplitting new book by Jen Mann. . . . Mann delivers her signature punch lines and sharp critique on the oftentimes ridiculous shenanigans of the modern family. Her ability to make an otherwise boring subject come alive with colorful personalities, biting sarcasm, and impressively astute observations on suburban culture is what makes Mann so much fun to read and so easy to relate to.”—The Huffington Post “A lighthearted, laugh-out-loud book . . . with a feel of peeking into a diary.”—Mommy’s Memorandum “It really does make you laugh out loud.”—Shooting Stars Mag “A quick and delightful read that you can sneak in right before bed or when the kids are finally napping.”—FangirlNation “Grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and enjoy Jen’s latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the ‘most wonderful time’ of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humblebrag Christmas letters from overachieving moms to horrifying Christmases of her childhood.”—Creating Serenity “[Mann] has really mastered the short story format. . . . She packs the maximum amount of funny into the fewest words, and many of these essays are downright hilarious. . . . If you’ve read and liked her other books, you will definitely want to read this one, too.”—Bug Bug Book Reviews
'Better mad with the crowd than sane all alone' In these witty, Machiavellian aphorisms, unlikely Spanish priest Baltasar Gracián shows us how to exploit friends and enemies alike to thrive in a world of deception and illusion. Introducing Little Black Classics: 80 books for Penguin's 80th birthday. Little Black Classics celebrate the huge range and diversity of Penguin Classics, with books from around the world and across many centuries. They take us from a balloon ride over Victorian London to a garden of blossom in Japan, from Tierra del Fuego to 16th-century California and the Russian steppe. Here are stories lyrical and savage; poems epic and intimate; essays satirical and inspirational; and ideas that have shaped the lives of millions. Baltasar Gracián (1601-1658). Gracián's work is available in Penguin Classics in The Pocket Oracle and Art of Prudence.
The tennis classic from Olympic gold medalist and ESPN analyst Brad Gilbert, now featuring a new introduction with tips drawn from the strategies of Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic, Serena Williams, Andy Murray, and more, to help you outthink and outplay your toughest opponents. A former Olympic medalist and now one of ESPN’s most respected analysts, Brad Gilbert shares his timeless tricks and tips, including “some real gems” (Tennis magazine) to help both recreational and professional players improve their game. In the new introduction to this third edition, Gilbert uses his inside access to analyze current stars such as Serena Williams and Rafael Nadal, showing readers how to beat better players without playing better tennis. Written with clarity and wit, this classic combat manual for the tennis court has become the bible of tennis instruction books for countless players worldwide.
“Eat, pray . . . kick ass. Delivered with self-deprecating candor, Schorn's life lessons learned at the dojo will resonate with anyone who's ever tried to remodel a house, raise kids, cope with a health crisis, navigate office politics or hyperventilated—essentially anyone who's ever been slammed on the mat while testing for the black belt of life. Like the fighter herself, you can't put this one down.”—Mary Moore, author of The Unexpected When You're Expecting Susan Schorn led an anxious life. For no clear reason, she had become progressively paralyzed by fear. Fed up with feeling powerless, she took up karate. She learned how to say no and how to fight when you have to (even in the dark). Karate taught her how to persuade her husband to wear a helmet, best one bossy Girl Scout troop leader, and set boundaries with an over-sharing boss. Here this double black belt recounts a fighting, biting, laughing woman's journey on the road to living fearlessly—where enlightenment is as much about embracing absurdity and landing a punch as about finding that perfect method of meditation. Full of hilarious hijinks and tactical wisdom, Schorn's quest for a more satisfying life features practical—and often counterintuitive—lessons about safety and self defense. Smile at strangers, she says. Question your habits, your fears, your self-criticism: Self-criticism is easy. Self-improvement is hard. And don’t forget this essential gem: Everybody wants to have adventures. Whether they know it or not. Join the adventure in these pages, and come through it poised to have more of your own.