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People base thousands of choices across a lifetime on the views they hold of their skill and moral character, yet a growing body of research in psychology shows that such self-views are often misguided or misinformed. Anyone who has dealt with others in the classroom, in the workplace, in the medical office, or on the therapist’s couch has probably experienced people whose opinions of themselves depart from the objectively possible. This book outlines some of the common errors that people make when they evaluate themselves. It also describes the many psychological barriers - some that people build by their own hand - that prevent individuals from achieving self-insight about their ability and character. The first section of the book focuses on mistaken views of competence, and explores why people often remain blissfully unaware of their incompetence and personality flaws. The second section focuses on faulty views of character, and explores why people tend to perceive they are more unique and special than they really are, why people tend to possess inflated opinions of their moral fiber that are not matched by their deeds, and why people fail to anticipate the impact that emotions have on their choices and actions. The book will be of great interest to students and researchers in social, personality, and cognitive psychology, but, through the accessibility of its writing style, it will also appeal to those outside of academic psychology with an interest in the psychological processes that lead to our self-insight.
Scripture reveals a God who meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be. No More Faking Fine is your invitation to get honest with God through the life-giving language of lament. If you've ever been given empty clichés during challenging times, you know how painful it is to be misunderstood by well-meaning people. When life hurts, we often feel pressure--from others and ourselves--to keep it together, suck it up, or pray it away. But Scripture reveals a God who lovingly invites us to give honest voice to our emotions when life hits hard. For most of her life, Esther Fleece Allen believed she could bypass the painful emotions of her broken past by shutting them down altogether. She was known as an achiever and an overcomer on the fast track to success. But in silencing her pain, she robbed herself of the opportunity to be healed. Maybe you've done the same. Esther's journey into healing began when she discovered that God has given us a real-world way to deal with raw emotions and an alternative to the coping mechanisms that end up causing more pain. It's called lament--the gut-level, honest prayer that God never ignores, never silences, and never wastes. No More Faking Fine is your permission to lament, taking you on a journey down the unexpected pathway to true intimacy with God. Drawing from careful biblical study and hard-won insight, Esther reveals how to use God's own language to come closer to him as he leads us through our pain to the light on the other side, teaching you that: We are robbing ourselves of a divine mystery and a divine intimacy when we pretend to have it all together God does not expect us to be perfect; instead, he meets us where we are There is hope beyond your heartache, disappointment, and grief Like Esther, you'll soon find that when one person stops faking fine, it gives everyone else permission to do the same.
Does what's on your desk reveal what's on your mind? Do those pictures on your walls tell true tales about you? And is your favorite outfit about to give you away? For the last ten years psychologist Sam Gosling has been studying how people project (and protect) their inner selves. By exploring our private worlds (desks, bedrooms, even our clothes and our cars), he shows not only how we showcase our personalities in unexpected-and unplanned-ways, but also how we create personality in the first place, communicate it others, and interpret the world around us. Gosling, one of the field's most innovative researchers, dispatches teams of scientific snoops to poke around dorm rooms and offices, to see what can be learned about people simply from looking at their stuff. What he has discovered is astonishing: when it comes to the most essential components of our personalities-from friendliness to flexibility-the things we own and the way we arrange them often say more about us than even our most intimate conversations. If you know what to look for, you can figure out how reliable a new boyfriend is by peeking into his medicine cabinet or whether an employee is committed to her job by analyzing her cubicle. Bottom line: The insights we gain can boost our understanding of ourselves and sharpen our perceptions of others. Packed with original research and fascinating stories, Snoop is a captivating guidebook to our not-so-secret lives.
Urges readers to explore the God-given passions within their hearts, thus living life more fully while honoring their faith.
"Know thyself," a precept as old as Socrates, is still good advice. But is introspection the best path to self-knowledge? Wilson makes the case for better ways of discovering our unconscious selves. If you want to know who you are or what you feel or what you're like, Wilson advises, pay attention to what you actually do and what other people think about you. Showing us an unconscious more powerful than Freud's, and even more pervasive in our daily life, Strangers to Ourselves marks a revolution in how we know ourselves.
“Each chapter is a gem of insight into the human experience, cut and polished to perfection by the renowned psychologist David Myers. Better than any book I can recall, this book answers questions about why we think, feel, and act as we do—but also makes us curious to learn more.” —Angela Duckworth A delightful tour of the wonders of our humanity from David G. Myers, the award-winning professor and author of psychology’s bestselling textbook. Over the past three decades, millions of students have learned about psychology from textbooks by David G. Myers. To create these books and to satisfy his own endless curiosity about the human mind, Myers monitors the leading journals to discover the most extraordinary developments in psychological science. How Do We Know Ourselves? is a compendium of the most wondrous verities that Myers has found, revealing thought-provoking insights into our everyday lives. His astute observations and sharp-witted wisdom enable readers to think smarter and live happier. Myers’s subjects range from why we so often fear the wrong things to how simply going for a walk with someone can increase rapport and empathy. He reveals why we repeatedly mishear song lyrics and how the color of President Obama’s suits aided in his decision-making. Myers also explores the powers and perils of our intuition, explaining why anything can seem obvious once it happens. These forty essays offer fresh insight into our sometimes bewildering but ever-fascinating lives. Myers is engaging and intellectually provocative, and he brings a wealth of knowledge from more than fifty years of teaching and writing about psychology to this lively and informative collection. He inspires us to ponder timeless questions, including what might be the most intriguing one of all: How do we know ourselves?
I Am helps women end the barrage of negative self-talk and replace it with an empowering new narrative. You'll exchange lies for truth, insecurity for a rock-solid identity, and break free from the distorted messages that have held you hostage for too long. From the moment a woman wakes until she falls, exhausted, on her pillow, one question plagues her at every turn: Am I enough? The pressure to do more, be more has never been more intense. Online marketing. Self-help books. Movies, magazines, and gym memberships. Even church attendance and social media streams have become a means of comparing ourselves to impossible standards. Am I pretty enough? Hip enough? Spiritual enough? We fear the answer is "No." When a brutal bout with cancer changed how she looked, talked, and lived, Michele Cushatt embarked on a soul-deep journey to rediscover herself. The typical self-esteem strategies and positivity plans weren't enough. Instead, she needed a new foundation, one that wouldn't prove flimsy when faced with the onslaught of day-to-day life. With raw personal stories, profound biblical teaching, and radical truths on which to rebuild your life, I Am will help you: Refuse to ride the rollercoaster of others' opinions and start believing what God says about you. Stop agonizing over past regrets and failures and make peace with God's sovereign plan for your life. Leave insecurity behind as you exchange temporary fixes for an identity established on God's unchanging affection. I Am reminds us that our value isn't found in our talents, achievements, relationships, or appearance. It is instead found in a God who chose us, sent us, and promised to be with us--forever.
This ground-breaking resource challenges and equips Christians to think and act biblically and compassionately in matters of sexuality. Sexual abuse, sex addiction, gender confusion, brokenness, and shame plague today's world, and people are seeking clarity and hope. By contesting long-held cultural paradigms, this book equips you to see how sexuality is rooted in the broader context of God's heart and His work for us on earth. It provides a framework from which to understand the big picture of sexual challenges and wholeness, and helps you recognize that every sexual question is ultimately a spiritual one. It shifts the paradigm from combating sexual problems to confidently proclaiming and modeling the road to sacred sexuality. Instead of arguing with the world about what's right and wrong about sexual choices, this practical resource equips you to share the love and grace of Jesus as you encounter the pain of sexual brokenness--your own or someone else's.