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I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34. Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds. They Call Me Naughty Lola is a testament to the creativity and humor that can still be found among men and women longing for love and allergic to the concepts of Internet and speed dating. Here is an irresistible collection of the most brilliant and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest -- and most erudite -- lonely-hearts column. The ads have been called "surreal haikus of the heart," and in an age of false advertising, the men and women who write them are hindered neither by high expectations nor by positivism of any kind. And yet, while hopes of finding a suitable mate remain low, the column has produced a handful of marriages, many friendships, and at least one divorce. Here are the young, old, fat, bald, healthy, ill, rich, and poor hoping that they can find true love, or at the very least, someone to call them Naughty Lola.
Since 1998, the world's most erudite readers have congregated in the small ads section of the London Review of Books in the hope of finding love. This text brings together the work of the 'edgy', the 'irascible' and the 'flatulent' to provide a glimpse into the most notorious, endearing and funny lonely hearts ads.
Charlie has this little sister, Lola. Lola has been playing with Charlie’s very special rocket. Charlie says, “Did you break my rocket?” Lola says, “You absolutely told me to not ever never touch it… ever.”
Personal ads -- men and women of all ages, backgrounds and aspirations, laying their souls bare and their hearts on the line -- are the modern world's equivalent of the Japanese haiku . . . or something like that, anyway. Painstakingly crafted, finely honed and, above all, short, they offer an endearing, intriguing and, often, amusing glimpse into the lives of those looking for love. Amid the witty one-liners and laugh-out-punchlines, there is pathos and passion aplenty; there is hope, longing and even good old-fashioned lust; there is romance, regret, ambition, and, occasionally, a hint of bitterness. Whatever the tone, however, these ads make for engrossing reading. Organized into themes ('Mentally, I'm a size eight' and 'Forty years ago I was going to marry Elvis') and fully annotated, Sexually, I'm more of a Switzerland is the perfect gift for the man or woman in your life -- as well as single friends everywhere. 'Woman, 36. WLTM man who doesn't try to high-five her after sex'
Willie Nelson says, "Billy Joe Shaver may be the best songwriter alive today." And legions of fans agree. "Honky Tonk Hero" is the story of a man who not only walked on the wild side and lived to tell about it, but also got it all down in songs that many people consider to be some of the finest country songs ever written.
To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Since the early 1980s, this group of belles gone bad has been the toast of Jackson, Mississippi, with their glorious annual appearance in the St. Patrick's Day parade. In The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love, their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. Chapters include: • The True Magic Words Guaranteed to Get Any Man to Do Your Bidding • The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times • Men Who May Need Killing, Quite Frankly • What to Eat When Tragedy Strikes, or Just for Entertainment • The Best Advice Ever Given in the Entire History of the World From tales of the infamous Sweet Potato Queens' Promise to the joys of Chocolate Stuff and Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas, this irreverent, shamelessly funny book is the gen-u-wine article.
I wasn't looking to fall for one man. Let alone two... Sullivan and Will are as close as two friends can be. Growing up in the system forced them to rely on each other, and they've become accustomed to sharing everything--including women. Now they're ready for more. To find love. To start a family. To see the dreams they've shared since childhood come true. Apparently I tick off every box on their list--brains, beauty, and sass. I never hesitate to put both men in their places--which they find sexy as hell. One problem, I'm a traditional girl, with traditional values--one man, one woman, till death do us part--kind of values. They're willing to work to prove how very right the three of us could be, but what happens next is anyone's guess... This book is packed with hot, passionate love that doesn't know any boundaries, so sit back, enjoy and get ready for a smutily-ever-after.
Anna had everything figured out – she was about to start senior year with her best friend, she had a great weekend job and her huge work crush looked as if it might finally be going somewhere... Until her dad decides to send her 4383 miles away to Paris. On her own. But despite not speaking a word of French, Anna finds herself making new friends, including Étienne St. Clair, the smart, beautiful boy from the floor above. But he's taken – and Anna might be too. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with the French kiss she's been waiting for?
Straight from British shores, here is another dose of love, or the lack of it, from the pages of the London Review of Books. The editor of They Call Me Naughty Lola has cooked up yet another irresistible collection of brilliant, bawdy and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest, and smartest, lonely-hearts column. These ads prove that even if you're lonely, you don't have to be boring, as advertisers in this book demand much more than long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners from their potential mates. Arranged by theme ('The Usual Hyperbole and a Whiff of Playful Narcissism'), and including footnotes to obscure references, Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland promises to be 'a naughty treat' (Entertainment Weekly).