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In 1993, a Taiwanese fisherman opened a chest that had been in his family for centuries. Inside, he found a manuscript which may be as significant as the Dead Sea scrolls—a manuscript which will revolutionize our thinking about the origins of Zen. Written on a rice paper scroll, the manuscript records the teachings of the founder of Zen, the Master Reepah Gud Wan. It makes it quite clear that Reepah, a legitimate teacher of Buddhism, was frustrated by the inability of his students to grasp the abstract concepts of the Buddha. In desperation, he decided to play a joke on them. He invented the Zen of Farting, confident that even the densest pupil would realize that he was making a joke and laugh at his excessive seriousness—not to mention his farts. The joke went over like a stale air biscuit. Soon, the Master had thousands of students eager to learn this brave new spiritual teaching, the Zen of Farting. Thus was Zen born, not of heaven, but of the 'ethereal child of earth.'
Reepah Gud Wan was the Chinese Buddhist monk who first introduced Zen to Japan more than a millenium ago. Since then, his name has been lost to obscurity -- or perhaps posterity -- as have the true origins of Zen. But the recent discovery of an ancient manuscipt by a Taiwanese fisherman has rocked every Zen koan. The original Zen was actually the Zen of Farting -- a practical joke being played by Reepah on his students in the hope of shaking them out of their narrowminded views on religion. Here is the full text, in English, of the rice paper scroll written by Reepah's brother, setting forth the philosophy of his teaching -- and of partial farts, his adaptation of Zen to militant uses. The Zen of Farting is destined to be the humor hit of the new millenium.
Meet Benjamin Franklin as you’ve never met him before . . . This hilarious collection includes the Founding Father’s satirical writings on farting, adultery, and other irreverent subjects you won’t find in your history books. A mention of flatulence might conjure up images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent—and least expected—commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. The writings in Fart Proudly reveal the rogue who lived peaceably within the philosopher and statesman. Included are “The Letter to a Royal Academy”; “On Choosing a Mistress”; “Rules on Making Oneself Disagreeable”; and other jibes. Franklin’s irrepressible wit found an outlet in perpetrating hoaxes, attacking marriage and other sacred cows, and skewering the English Parliament. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press.
From the publisher of the bestselling "Gross" series comes our grossest book yet! flat•u•lence (flach-u-lens) n. Female: an embarrassing by-product of digestion Male: an endless source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding Since the dawn of time, farting has been with us in all its rich and varied guises. Every nation in the world has developed its own ripe and extensive vocabulary to express the function of farting. Qui a pété? (Who's farted?) the French would ask, while the Chinese have to Fon Pei Ha, the Germans furzen, and the Swedes to fisa. Farting is a universal fascination, and every generation of boys and young men seem to revel in all things farting. For everyone fascinated with farts (and you know who you are!) comes The Complete Book of Farts. Filled with hilarious, real-life experiences and stories (and a lot of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane), this is the perfect companion for all those who fart, and those who don't (or won't admit it). Now, in a single volume, readers will discover: history's greatest farters; recipes for fantastic farts; farting etiquette; farting vocabulary for world travelers; funniest farting jokes, limericks, and quips; true farting confessions; and much more! No other book on farting gives us as much information and hilarity as this year's best gift for every boy (of all ages!) in your life. While there might be other farting-book imitators, only The Complete Book of Farts is the ultimate guide to all things gaseous!
Everyone forgets things from time to time, but for the big mental lapses, there's Brain Fart! This hilarious brain-shaped stress ball provides instant relief from the most stubborn mental freezes. Just give it a squeeze to play five funny fart sounds. Also included is a 32-page mini book of epic brain farts.
We've told you HOW TO SHIT IN THE WOODS. We've taken you UP SHIT CREEK. Now, we dare to ask the eternal question...WHO CUT THE CHEESE? Which is to say, what exactly is a fart? Why do we do it? Why do we hide it when we do it? And why do we find farts so darn funny? A cut above anything else on the subject, this book really lets go and tells all, getting to the bottom of these mysteries. Author Jim sniffs out a load of historical and scientific fart tales, then offers the kind of fun facts you'll be dying to let slip at social occasions, in chapters like "Fart Facts That Aren't Just Hot Air," "Gone with the Wind" (on famous movie farts), and "Le Petomane & the Art of the Fart" (on the most famous windbag in history). From fact to fiction to frivolous flatulence, this book is unquestionably a ripping good read.
This hilarious comedy book entertains you and makes you and your entire family laugh endlessly. It serves as a funky guide for all your fart-related questions. Farting is an out-of-body experience for all people around you while you are doing it. After spending a long, tedious day, you deserve a chance to relax, laugh, and have a great time. It will help you to have a great time rolling on the floor laughing out loud. It goes over the history of releasing gas by humans since the dawn of time, the political effects of farting on different societies throughout history, how to handle a Farter in public, historical most-hated greatest windbreakers, how to locate a Farter, and a hilarious look on famous quotes, proverbs, movies, and TV programs, etc.
The Blue Cliff Record is a classic text of Zen Buddhism, designed to assist in the activation of dormant human potential. The core of this extraordinary work is a collection of one hundred traditional citations and stories, selected for their ability to bring about insight and enlightenment. These vignettes are known as gongan in Chinese and koan in Japanese. Secrets of the Blue Cliff Record is a fresh translation featuring newly translated commentary from two of the greatest Zen masters of early modern Japan, Hakuin Ekaku (1685–1768) of the Rinzai sect of Zen and Tenkei Denson (1648–1735) of the Soto sect of Zen. This translation and commentary on The Blue Cliff Record sheds new light on the meaning of this central Zen text.
Is there anything more mysterious—and frustrating—than the disappearance of a sock? Investigating this common phenomenon from a quasi-scientific perspective, Dr. Perditus Pedale postulates a number of explanations, with many theoretical, historical, and contemporary asides. Though written in jest, the book addresses a conundrum that genuinely puzzles many. Included are interviews with passersby, comments from other authorities, and delightful illustrations—all created by Dr. Pedale, the domestic naturalist.
For over thirty years, Opening the Hand of Thought has offered an introduction to Zen Buddhism and meditation unmatched in clarity and power. This is the revised edition of Kosho Uchiyama's singularly incisive classic. This new edition contains even more useful material: new prefaces, an index, and extended endnotes, in addition to a revised glossary. As Jisho Warner writes in her preface, Opening the Hand of Thought "goes directly to the heart of Zen practice... showing how Zen Buddhism can be a deep and life-sustaining activity." She goes on to say, "Uchiyama looks at what a person is, what a self is, how to develop a true self not separate from all things, one that can settle in peace in the midst of life." By turns humorous, philosophical, and personal, Opening the Hand of Thought is above all a great book for the Buddhist practitioner. It's a perfect follow-up for the reader who has read Zen Meditation in Plain English and is especially useful for those who have not yet encountered a Zen teacher.