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The Way of Boys by renowned psychologist Dr. Anthony Rao is an important wake-up call to the dangers of over-medicating our male children and our current tendency to treat their active boyhood as an illness. Dr. Rao raises a much-needed alarm in this essential volume that belongs in every parent’s collection alongside Raising Cain by Michael Thompson. In these times when many parents, concerned about ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome, and bipolar disorder, may be dangerously misinterpreting their young sons’ healthy, normal development process, The Way of Boys is must reading.
"If you are the parent of a boy . . . this is the book you need . . . insightful, enlightened, practical." —Peggy Orenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Boys & Sex From the dad who created the viral tweet supporting his son wearing nail polish, this essential parenting guide shares 36 parenting tips for battling gender norms, bringing down "man up" culture, and helping sons realize their potential. Our boys are in a crisis. Toxic masculinity and tough guy-ism are on display daily from our leaders, and we see anger, dysfunction, violence, and depression in young men who are suffocated by harmful social codes. Our young sons are told to stop throwing like a girl. They hear phrases like “man up” when they cry. They are told “boys will be boys” when they behave badly. The “Girl Power” movement has encouraged women to be whoever and do whatever they want, but that sentiment is not often extended to boys. Just watch the bullying when boys try ballet, paint their fingernails, or play with a doll. But we can treat this problem—and the power lies in the hands of parents. It's not only possible to raise boys who aren't emotionally stifled and shoved into stereotypical gender boxes; it's vital if we want a generation of men who can express their emotions, respect women, and help nurse society back to a halfway healthy place. We can reframe manhood. From Aaron Gouveia, who gained viral fame after tweeting his support for his son’s painted fingernails (and who knows toxic masculinity very well), learn practical and actionable tips such as: Don’t accept different standards for moms and dads Teach boys that “girl” is not an insult and retire phrases like “boys will be boys” Show boys that expressing their emotions and being physical is a good thing Let boys pursue nontraditional interests and hobbies Talk to boys about consent and privilege Model healthy and respectful relationships for boys to emulate Penned with equal parts humor, biting snark, and lived advice, Raising Boys to Be Good Men is the essential parenting guide for raising sons to realize their potential outside the box. ​
"A guide to the stages and issues in boys' development from birth to manhood"--Provided by publisher.
ÒBoys are emotionally illiterate and donÕt want intimate friendships.Ó In this empirically grounded challenge to our stereotypes about boys and men, Niobe Way reveals the intense intimacy among teenage boys especially during early and middle adolescence. Boys not only share their deepest secrets and feelings with their closest male friends, they claim that without them they would go Òwacko.Ó Yet as boys become men, they become distrustful, lose these friendships, and feel isolated and alone. Drawing from hundreds of interviews conducted throughout adolescence with black, Latino, white, and Asian American boys, Deep Secrets reveals the ways in which we have been telling ourselves a false story about boys, friendships, and human nature. BoysÕ descriptions of their male friendships sound more like Òsomething out of Love Story than Lord of the Flies.Ó Yet in late adolescence, boys feel they have to Òman upÓ by becoming stoic and independent. Vulnerable emotions and intimate friendships are for girls and gay men. ÒNo homoÓ becomes their mantra. These findings are alarming, given what we know about links between friendships and health, and even longevity. Rather than a Òboy crisis,Ó Way argues that boys are experiencing a Òcrisis of connectionÓ because they live in a culture where human needs and capacities are given a sex (female) and a sexuality (gay), and thus discouraged for those who are neither. Way argues that the solution lies with exposing the inaccuracies of our gender stereotypes and fostering these critical relationships and fundamental human skills.
“If you’re raising a boy, you need this brilliant book. It is clear, wise, and eye-opening.” —Lisa Damour, Ph.D., author of Untangled When boys enter puberty, they tend to get quiet—or at least quieter than before—and parents often misread their signals. Here’s how to navigate their retreat and steer them through this confusing passage, by the bestselling author of The Care and Keeping of You series and Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys. What is my son doing behind his constantly closed door? What’s with his curt responses, impulsiveness, newfound obsession with gaming, and . . . that funky smell? As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing “need” for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril. Explaining how modern culture mixes badly with male adolescent biology, Natterson offers science, strategies, scripts, and tips for getting it right: • recognizing the first signs of puberty and talking to our sons about the wide range of “normal” through the whole developmental process • why teenagers make irrational decisions even though they look mature—and how to steer them toward better choices • managing video game and screen time, including discussing the unrealistic and dangerous nature of pornography • why boys need emotional and physical contact with parents—and how to give it in ways they’ll accept • how to prepare boys to resist both old and new social pressures—drugs, alcohol, vaping, and sexting • teaching consent and sensitivity in the #MeToo culture Decoding Boys is a powerful and validating lifeline, a book that will help today’s parents keep their sons safe, healthy, and resilient, as well as ensure they will become emotionally secure young men. Praise for Decoding Boys “Comforting . . . a common-sensical and gently humorous exploration of male puberty's many trials.”—Kirkus Reviews
The problem isn't with boys, it's with our expectations of them In a book that's part advice and part exposÉ, psy­chologist and expert on boyhood development Dr. Anthony Rao challenges some of the potentially harmful assumptions, attitudes, and behaviors we've developed toward young boyhood over the last few decades. This is not an indictment of medication therapies—in some important instances, Dr. Rao argues that medication is appropriate and necessary. Rather, The Way of Boys is a celebration of natural, constructive boyhood development and an expert, definitive handbook on what to look for and expect in normal growth. Ask yourself these questions: Is his behavior serious enough to interfere with functioning? Does it keep him from sleeping, eating, attending school, or staying safe? Does it persist over a few weeks or more? Does it show itself more than a few isolated times per day? Does it happen in different settings? Has it been reported by different people? If your answer is yes to any of these, your son may have symptoms that need further assessment by a pediatrician or other qualified developmental specialist. But a yes answer doesn't mean your son has a lifelong disorder or that the first line of defense is medication. Boys are being bombarded with a slew of diagnoses—ADHD, Asperger's, bipolar disorder—at an alarming rate and at younger ages. The Way of Boys urges parents, educators, pediatricians, psychologists, and other developmental experts to reevaluate and significantly change how we deal with our youngest boys. It's time we stopped trying to "fix" young boys. When parents understand the wide spectrum for normal boy development, they can successfully communicate with their son—and everyone in their son's life—and help him grow into a healthy, smart, strong man.
Introducing The Power of Agency, a science-backed approach to living life on your own terms. Agency is the ability to act as an effective agent for yourself—reflecting, making creative choices, and constructing a meaningful life. Grounded in extensive psychological research, The Power of Agency gives you the tools to help alleviate anxiety, manage competing demands and help you live your version of success. Renowned psychology experts Paul Napper and Anthony Rao will help you break through your state of overwhelm by showing you how to access your personal agency with seven empowering principles: control stimuli, associate selectively, move, position yourself as a learner, manage your emotions and beliefs, check your intuition, deliberate and then act. Featuring stories of people who have successfully applied these principles to improve their lives, The Power of Agency will give you the insights and skills to build your confidence, conquer challenges, and live more authentically.
At a time when many boys are in crisis, a much-needed roadmap for helping boys grow into strong and compassionate men Over the past two decades there has been an explosion of new studies that have expanded our knowledge of how boys think and feel. In How to Raise a Boy, psychologist Michael Reichert draws on his decades of research to challenge age-old conventions about how boys become men. Reichert explains how the paradigms about boys needing to be stoic and "man like" can actually cause them to shut down, leading to anger, isolation, and disrespectful or even destructive behaviors. The key to changing the culture lies in how parents, educators, and mentors help boys develop socially and emotionally. Reichert offers readers step-by-step guidance in doing just this by: Listening and observing, without judgment, so that boys know they're being heard. Helping them develop strong connections with teachers, coaches, and other role models Encouraging them to talk about their feelings about the opposite sex and stressing the importance of respecting women Letting them know that they don't have to "be a man" or "suck it up," when they are experiencing physical or emotional pain. Featuring the latest insights from psychology and neuroscience, How to Raise a Boy will help those who care for young boys and teenagers build a boyhood that will enable them to grow into confident, accomplished and kind men.
Here’s sensible advice and caring encouragement on raising boys from the nation’s most trusted parenting authority, Dr. James Dobson. With so much confusion about the role of men in our society, it’s no wonder so many parents and teachers are asking questions about how to bring up boys. Why are so many boys in crisis? What qualities should we be trying to instill in young males? Our culture has vilified masculinity and, as a result, an entire generation of boys is growing up without a clear idea of what it means to be a man. In the runaway bestseller Bringing Up Boys, Dr. Dobson draws from his experience as a child psychologist and family counselor, as well as extensive research, to offer advice and encouragement based on a firm foundation of biblical principles.
The stunning success of Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher’s landmark book, showed a true and pressing need to address the emotional lives of girls. Now, finally, here is the book that answers our equally timely and critical need to understand our boys. In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country’s leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting—sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Statistics point to an alarming number of young boys at high risk for suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and loneliness. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they’re not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that “cool” equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of “mother blame,” “boy biology,” and "testosterone,” Kindlon and Thompson shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive—the emotional miseducation of boys. Through moving case studies and cutting-edge research, Raising Cain paints a portrait of boys systematically steered away from their emotional lives by adults and the peer “culture of cruelty”—boys who receive little encouragement to develop qualities such as compassion, sensitivity, and warmth. The good news is that this doesn't have to happen. There is much we can do to prevent it. Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy—giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth. Powerfully written and deeply felt, Raising Cain will forever change the way we see our sons and will transform the way we help them to become happy and fulfilled young men.