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There's an epidemic sweeping the nation Symptoms include: *Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of 'making a fuss' *Extreme awkwardness when faced with any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake *An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS. VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure. Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.
What does 'custard and jelly' mean in cockney rhyming slang? Which biscuit has half of its name on top of the cooker and the other half on the door? And 25 million of what drink are served by British Airways each year? We Brits can't get enough of a quiz. Stumped for office party chit-chat? Quiz. Midweek visit to the pub? Quiz. Stuck inside in pyjamas on a rainy night and in the mood to cause a big family argument? You got it - quiz. This book is correspondingly filled with questions on all things wonderfully and unequivocally British - you'll find all sorts of tickly teasers, complex conundrums, worrisome word searches and much more on topics ranging from our iconic weather to types of cake. Best enjoyed with a cup of tea and your favourite biscuit(s). *** ANSWERS: Telly, Hobnob, buy the book and find out! *** Praise for Very British Problems 'Had us guffawing into our Earl Grey tea' Bella 'My favourite twitter account at the moment is Very British Problems (@soverybritish) . . . it makes me laugh out loud' Tom Hiddleston 'Hilarious' Daily Express 'Temple pays affectionate and comic homage to the sheer quirkiness of being British' Good Book Guide
WATERSTONES' BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR 2023: PUZZLES AND HUMOUR The perfect quiz book to get you in the Christmassy mood, to play at the office Christmas lunch or to pop into a stocking. Q1: In Britain, it's estimated that 800 million of what traditional Christmas treat are eaten each year?* Q2: Which actor gives the voiceover at the beginning of Love Actually?* Q3: True or False: Queen Elizabeth II wore a Santa hat for her 1996 Christmas Day televised speech.* We Brits can't get enough of a quiz - and never has this been more true at Christmastime. So if you're stumped for office party small talk, trying to make it through Christmas dinner with the in-laws, or simply a quiz connoisseur after puzzles with some festive flair, you can't go wrong with the VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS CHRISTMAS QUIZ BOOK. Inside you'll find all sorts of tickly teasers, complex conundrums, worrisome word searches and much more on topics ranging from nostalgic Christmas adverts and beloved TV specials to toys through the ages and everyone's favourite holiday snacks. Best enjoyed with a cup of tea and a mince pie. *Answers: Buy the book and find out!
Have you ever . . . *Watched in horror as someone helps themselves to the last roast potato? *Broken out in hives at the suggestion that you 'Introduce yourself...' over Zoom? *Been extra dramatic while rubbing in the shop's hand sanitiser, so everyone knows how thoroughly decent you are? . . . then you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS Very British Problems are sweeping the nation like never before. They are in our homes, in our Zoom calls, in the queue for the supermarket, in our schools, cafés, parks, rivers, cities, towns, villages, glove boxes, sock drawers . . Basically, they're inescapable. There is no vaccine. There is no cure. So there we have it, we're stuck with the malady of Britishness for the foreseeable. Nightmare, isn't it? Ah, well. Could be worse. Not quite sure how, though, off the top of my head. Any thoughts? PRAISE for VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS 'Hilarious' Daily Express 'Temple pays affectionate and comic homage to the sheer quirkiness of being British' Good Book Guide 'A corking Christmas stocking filler' Weekend Sport 'Had us guffawing into our Earl Grey tea' Bella
PRE-ORDER THE NEW VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS BOOK NOW! Or don't, you know, whatever you want - we don't mind. Very British Problems are what make us so, well, British. And what better place to get to the heart of these problems than, urm, Britain? Starting in Land's End and heading all the way up to John O'Groats, this A-Z tour of Britain covers everything from the national sports of apologising, queueing and bog-snorkelling to our national cuisine of chips, bread rolls and... chips in bread rolls. You'll take in sights such as Stonehenge (see the iconic prop from Spinal Tap in all its glory), Loch Ness (legend has it there is no monster) and Platform 9 3⁄4 (after a few hours waiting in a railway station, have your photo taken next to a brick wall) all whilst looking for somewhere decent to stop and eat your packed lunch. Britain is a maze of idiosyncrasies, loveable foibles and outright eccentricities and Rob Temple is here to reveal them in all their glory.
'If you're looking to ease yourself back into normality after lockdown, Born to be Mild should be top of your reading list' Mail Online A funny, life-affirming memoir from the creator of social media empire Very British Problems, about how to start again when everything's gone wrong. By the time Rob Temple hit his thirties, he had become so afraid of the world that he couldn't leave the house. Depressed and anxious, he found himself drifting deeper into solitude. So Rob decided to make a plan - to embark on fifty 'mild' adventures, to be a little less Pooh Bear and a little more Bear Grylls. On a gentle journey that takes him beekeeping, bowling, and to a service station just off the M25, Rob starts to settle on a better balance - and soon discovers the joys of a life well lived. In this raw and honest memoir, Rob shares his year of gentle adventure and the lessons learnt along the way. Quiet and comforting, with a generous helping of British humour, Born to be Mild is a guide to living life unencumbered by mental illness, and a reminder to slow down and embrace your mild side.
Heads You Win is international #1 bestseller Jeffrey Archer’s most ambitious and creative work since Kane and Abel, with a final twist that will shock even his most ardent of fans. Leningrad, Russia, 1968: From an early age it is clear that Alexander Karpenko is destined to lead his countrymen. But when his father is assassinated by the KGB for defying the state, Alexander and his mother will have to escape Russia if they hope to survive. At the docks, they have an irreversible choice: board a container ship bound for America or one bound for Great Britain. Alexander leaves the choice to a toss of a coin... In a single moment, a double twist decides Alexander’s future. During an epic tale, spanning two continents and thirty years, we follow Alexander through triumph and defeat as he sets out on parallel lives as Alex in New York and Sasha in London. As this unique story unfolds, both come to realize that to find their destiny they must face the past they left behind as Alexander in Russia.
Now in paperback after six hardback printings, the damn funny...wild collection of bracingly intelligent essays about topics that aren't quite as intelligent as Chuck Klosterman'(Esquire). Following the success of Fargo Rock City, Klosterman, a senior writer at Spin magazine, is back with a hilarious and savvy manifesto for a youth gone wild on pop culture and media, taking on everything from Guns'n'Roses tribute bands to Christian fundamentalism to internet porn. 'Maddeningly smart and funny' - Washington Post'
What if society wasn't fundamentally rational, but was motivated by insanity? This thought sets Jon Ronson on an utterly compelling adventure into the world of madness. Along the way, Jon meets psychopaths, those whose lives have been touched by madness and those whose job it is to diagnose it, including the influential psychologist who developed the Psychopath Test, from whom Jon learns the art of psychopath-spotting. A skill which seemingly reveals that madness could indeed be at the heart of everything . . . Combining Jon Ronson's trademark humour, charm and investigative incision, The Psychopath Test is both entertaining and honest, unearthing dangerous truths and asking serious questions about how we define normality in a world where we are increasingly judged by our maddest edges. 'The belly laughs come thick and fast – my God, he is funny . . . provocative and interesting' – Observer
Since 2005, well over one million prospective immigrants have attempted to cement permanent residency in the UK by taking the Home Office-devised ‘Life in the UK’ test. With questions such as ‘What is the name of the admiral who died in a sea battle in 1805 and has a monument in Trafalgar Square, London?’, it’s as dull as ditchwater and a hopelessly inadequate preparation for life as a fully functioning Brit. After all, there’s simply no point in knowing the exact span of the Hundred Years War if you don’t know about Alan Sugar, Nando’s, the rise of UKIP and the dangers of ordering half a pint. In this hilarious yet factual guide to the ins and outs of British life, popular stand-up comedian, ITV quiz show villain and fiercely proud Brit Paul Sinha guides you through the minefield. With sections on how to negotiate a pub, the joys of chicken tikka masala (and other British non-British dishes), the finer points of football fandom, British cities that hate each other, whether anyone really cares about religion, and – of course – how to behave in a queue, this chortlesome book is all you need if you want to call yourself a British citizen, whether you were born here or not.