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The author of The Defining Decade explains why the twenties are the most challenging time of life and reveals essential skills for handling the uncertainties surrounding work, love, friendship, mental health, and more during that decade and beyond. There is a young adult mental health crisis in America. So many twentysomethings are struggling—especially with anxiety, depression, and substance use—yet, as a culture, we are not sure what to think or do about it. Perhaps, it is said, young adults are snowflakes who melt when life turns up the heat. Or maybe, some argue, they’re triggered for no reason at all. Yet, even as we trivialize twentysomething struggles, we are quick to pathologize them and to hand out diagnoses and medications. Medication is sometimes, but not always, the best medicine. For twenty-five years, Meg Jay has worked as a clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings, and here she argues that most don’t have disorders that must be treated: they have problems that can be solved. In these pages, she offers a revolutionary remedy that upends the medicalization of twentysomething life and advocates instead for skills over pills. In The Twentysomething Treatment, Jay teaches us: -How to think less about “what if” and more about “what is.” -How to feel uncertain without coming undone. -How to work—at work—toward competence and calm. -How to be social when social media functions as an evolutionary trap. -How to befriend someone and why this is more crucial for survival than ever. -How to love someone even though they may break your heart. -How to have sex when porn is easier and more available. -How to move, literally, toward happiness and health. -How to cook your way into confidence and connection. -How to change a bad habit you may not know you have. -How to decide when so much about life is undecided. -How to choose purpose at work and in love. The Twentysomething Treatment is a book that offers help and hope to millions of young adults—and to the friends, parents, partners, teachers, and mentors who care about them—just when they need it the most. It is essential reading for anyone who wants to find out how to improve our mental health by improving how we handle the uncertainties of life.
The Defining Decade has changed the way millions of twentysomethings think about their twenties—and themselves. Revised and reissued for a new generation, let it change how you think about you and yours. Our "thirty-is-the-new-twenty" culture tells us the twentysomething years don't matter. Some say they are an extended adolescence. Others call them an emerging adulthood. In The Defining Decade, Meg Jay argues that twentysomethings have been caught in a swirl of hype and misinformation, much of which has trivialized the most transformative time of our lives. Drawing from more than two decades of work with thousands of clients and students, Jay weaves the latest science of the twentysomething years with behind-closed-doors stories from twentysomethings themselves. The result is a provocative read that provides the tools necessary to take the most of your twenties, and shows us how work, relationships, personality, identity and even the brain can change more during this decade than at any other time in adulthood—if we use the time well. Also included in this updated edition: Up-to-date research on work, love, the brain, friendship, technology, and fertility What a decade of device use has taught us about looking at friends—and looking for love—online 29 conversations to have with your partner—or to keep in mind as you search for one A social experiment in which "digital natives" go without their phones A Reader's Guide for book clubs, classrooms, or further self-reflection
Clinical psychologist and author of The Defining Decade, Meg Jay takes us into the world of the supernormal: those who soar to unexpected heights after childhood adversity. Whether it is the loss of a parent to death or divorce; bullying; alcoholism or drug abuse in the home; mental illness in a parent or a sibling; neglect; emotional, physical or sexual abuse; having a parent in jail; or growing up alongside domestic violence, nearly 75% of us experience adversity by the age of 20. But these experiences are often kept secret, as are our courageous battles to overcome them. Drawing on nearly two decades of work with clients and students, Jay tells the tale of ordinary people made extraordinary by these all-too-common experiences, everyday superheroes who have made a life out of dodging bullets and leaping over obstacles, even as they hide in plain sight as doctors, artists, entrepreneurs, lawyers, parents, activists, teachers, students and readers. She gives a voice to the supernormals among us as they reveal not only "How do they do it?" but also "How does it feel?" These powerful stories, and those of public figures from Andre Agassi to Jay Z, will show supernormals they are not alone but are, in fact, in good company. Marvelously researched and compassionately written, this exceptional book narrates the continuing saga that is resilience as it challenges us to consider whether -- and how -- the good wins out in the end.
A mother-daughter writing team reports on what's really up with kids today Science writer Robin Marantz Henig and her daughter, journalist Samantha Henig, offer a smart, comprehensive look at what it's really like to be twentysomething—and to what extent it’s different for Millennials than it was for their Baby Boomer parents. The Henigs combine the behavioral science literature for insights into how young people make choices about schooling, career, marriage, and childbearing; how they relate to parents, friends, and lovers; and how technology both speeds everything up and slows everything down. Packed with often-surprising discoveries, Twentysomething is a two-generation conversation that will become the definitive book on being young in our time. "The fullest guide through this territory . . . A densely researched report on the state of middleclass young people today, drawn from several data sources and fi­ltered through a comparative lens." —­The New Yorker
“A 21st century book, grounded in ancient ways of practice.” —Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness In The Mindful Twenty-Something, the cofounder of the extremely popular Koru Mindfulness program developed at Duke University presents a unique, evidence-based approach to help you make important life decisions with clarity and confidence. As a twenty-something, you may feel like you are being pulled in dozen different directions. With the daily tumult, busyness, and major life changes you experience as a young adult, you may also be particularly vulnerable to stress and its negative effects. Emerging adulthood, which occurs between the ages of 18 and 29, is a developmental stage of life when you’re faced with important decisions about school, relationships, sex, your career, and more. With so much going on, you need a guide to help you navigate with less stress and more ease. The Koru Mindfulness program, developed at Duke University and already in use on numerous college campuses—including Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT, Dartmouth, and several others—and in treatment centers across the country, is the only evidence-based mindfulness training program for young adults that has been empirically proven to have significant benefits for sleep, perceived stress, and self-compassion. Now, with The Mindful Twenty-Something, this popular program is accessible to all young adults struggling with stress. With Koru Mindfulness and the practical tools you’ll learn from this acceptance-based, proven-effective approach, you’ll be able to cultivate the compassion and mindfulness skills you need to manage life’s challenges from a calm, balanced center, regardless of what comes your way.
“For an age group overwhelmed with information, Bradbury-Haehl finds a way to make it all manageable.” --Publisher’s Weekly Let’s face it: adulting isn’t easy. That’s why young-adult minister Nora Bradbury-Haehl created this essential guide to help you avoid the mistakes, missteps, and financial failures that took others years to learn. Each chapter includes practical, actionable advice that addresses the full range of life’s challenges, including how to: make a new city feel like home; find the right job for you—and thrive once you’ve landed it; ward off loneliness and build meaningful post-grad relationships; set boundaries and live in harmony with your roommates—whether they’re your peers or parents; and replace destructive habits with ones that make your life better. Whether you’re seeking meaning and purpose in your life and career or just feeling stuck and confused about your next steps, within these pages you’ll find answers to your most pressing questions and advice, encouragement, and inspiration from others who want to help you through these challenging years—together.
From an expert in adolescent psychology comes a groundbreaking, timely, and necessary guide for parents of the 2.2 million young adults in America who are struggling to find their way in the world. In Dr. Mark McConville's decades of experience as a family clinical psychologist, perhaps no problem has been more fraught than that of young adults who fail to successfully transition from adolescence into adulthood. These kids--technically adults--just can't get it together: They can't hold a job, they struggle to develop meaningful relationships, and they often end up back in their parents' spare bedroom or on the couch. In fact, studies show that one in four Americans aged twenty-five to thirty-four neither work nor attend school, and it's a problem that spans all socioeconomic and geographic boundaries. McConville investigates the root causes of this problem: Why are modern kids "failing to launch" in ever-increasing numbers? The key, McConville has found, is that they are struggling with three critical skills that are necessary to make the transition from childhood to adulthood--finding a sense of purpose, developing administrative responsibility, and cultivating interdependence. In Failure to Launch, McConville breaks these down into achievable, accessible goals and offers a practical guide for the whole family, to help parents instill those skills in their young adults--and to get their kids into the real world, ready to start their lives.
In Skills Over Pills, clinical psychology Dr Meg Jay sounds the alarm about a problem which has reached epidemic proportions: the over-prescription of antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs to young people who are in many cases going through normal developmental challenges. Psychologist, Dr Meg Jay makes the point that our twenties are the most challenging time of life and why over-medicating isn't the answer to the mental health problems facing young people. She goes onto advise how young people can develop the skills needed to navigate work, love, friendship, mental health, and more during that decade and beyond. Jay is not opposed to the use of drugs, when necessary, nor is she minimising the mental health crisis that many people are experiencing today. Instead, Jay wants to build a program of compassionate skill-building in which accessible insights and techniques are developed to reduce anxiety and manage the challenges that life throws our way. In Skills Over Pills, Jay teaches readers how to acquire essential skills such as: - How to be social when social media functions as an evolutionary trap. - How to befriend someone and why this is more crucial for survival than ever. - How to love someone even though they may break your heart. - How to make sex more fulfilling than you thought was possible. - How to move, literally, toward happiness and health. - How to face, rather than avoid, bad feelings so they won't haunt you. - How to cook your way into confidence and connection. - How to change a bad habit. - How to decide when so much is undecided. - And how to find purpose at work and in love. Throughout the book Jay offers relatable case studies and conversations she's had with her students and clients who are learning to embrace uncertainty and live full lives. Skills Over Pills is a practical, hopeful message, which presents a far more promising future for our young people than a life on medication.
Clinical psychologist and author of The Defining Decade, Meg Jay takes us into the world of the supernormal: those who soar to unexpected heights after childhood adversity. Whether it is the loss of a parent to death or divorce; bullying; alcoholism or drug abuse in the home; mental illness in a parent or a sibling; neglect; emotional, physical or sexual abuse; having a parent in jail; or growing up alongside domestic violence, nearly 75% of us experience adversity by the age of 20. But these experiences are often kept secret, as are our courageous battles to overcome them. Drawing on nearly two decades of work with clients and students, Jay tells the tale of ordinary people made extraordinary by these all-too-common experiences, everyday superheroes who have made a life out of dodging bullets and leaping over obstacles, even as they hide in plain sight as doctors, artists, entrepreneurs, lawyers, parents, activists, teachers, students and readers. She gives a voice to the supernormals among us as they reveal not only "How do they do it?" but also "How does it feel?" These powerful stories, and those of public figures from Andre Agassi to Jay Z, will show supernormals they are not alone but are, in fact, in good company. Marvelously researched and compassionately written, this exceptional book narrates the continuing saga that is resilience as it challenges us to consider whether -- and how -- the good wins out in the end.
While the midlife crisis has been thoroughly explored by experts, there is another landmine period in our adult development, called the quarterlife crisis, which can be just as devastating. When young adults emerge at graduation from almost two decades of schooling, during which each step to take is clearly marked, they encounter an overwhelming number of choices regarding their careers, finances, homes, and social networks. Confronted by an often shattering whirlwind of new responsibilities, new liberties, and new options, they feel helpless, panicked, indecisive, and apprehensive. Quarterlife Crisis is the first book to document this phenomenon and offer insightful advice on smoothly navigating the challenging transition from childhood to adulthood, from school to the world beyond. It includes the personal stories of more than one hundred twentysomethings who describe their struggles to carve out personal identities; to cope with their fears of failure; to face making choices rather than avoiding them; and to balance all the demanding aspects of personal and professional life. From "What do all my doubts mean?" to "How do I know if the decisions I'm making are right?" this book compellingly addresses the hardest questions facing young adults today.