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Go big or go gnome. The New York Times bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy welcome you to the world of Pell, the irreverent fantasy universe that recalls Monty Python and Terry Pratchett. “A complete delight, as fluffy and fun as The Lego Movie and as heartfelt as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”—Locus War is coming, and it’s gonna be Pell. On one side stand the gnomes: smol, cheerful, possessing tidy cardigans and no taste for cruelty. On the other side sit the halflings, proudly astride their war alpacas, carrying bags of grenades and hungry for a fight. And pretty much anything else. It takes only one halfling bomb and Offi Numminen’s world is turned upside down—or downside up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. His goth cardigans and aggressive melancholy set him apart from the other gnomes, as does his decision to fight back against their halfling oppressors. Suddenly Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts—from a gryphon who would literally kill for omelets to a young dwarf herbalist who is better with bees than with his cudgel to an assertive and cheerful teen witch with a beard as long as her book of curses—all on a journey to the Toot Towers to confront the dastardly villain intent on tearing Pell asunder. These adventurers never fit in anywhere else, but as they become friends, fight mermaids, and get really angry at this one raccoon, they learn that there’s nothing more heroic than being yourself. In No Country for Old Gnomes, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly tweak the tropes of fantasy and fairy tales. Here you’ll find goofy jokes and whimsical puns, but you’ll also find a diverse, feminist, and lighthearted approach to fantasy that will bring a smile to your face and many fine cheeses to your plate.
Fans of Mo Willems and Dev Petty's I Don't Want to Be a Frog will love this humorous tale about one gnome's journey to prove he is unlike the other magical creatures in the forest. Join Gnome (that's spelled G-N-O-M-E--don't ask why the G is silent!) as he travels through the magical forest to attend the annual Gnome Festival. Along the way he encounters elves, dwarves, trolls, and fairies. But don't be mistaken. He is NOTHING like those magical creatures. Well, maybe he is . . . but only a little bit! When Gnome finally arrives at the festival, he realizes that all the traits he thought made gnomes different from the others actually made them alike--and that's just fine.
Bring some good luck along with a little bit of whimsy to your home or that of a loved one with these fun projects featuring gnomes. Find playful designs for all rooms of the house including projects for the kitchen, sewing room, holidays, or a special gift.
"From Yumiko Sekine, creator of the internationally celebrated lifestyle brand Fog Linen Work, comes this elegant guide to cultivating a beautiful, joyful home. In these pages, readers will discover lovely rituals and simple techniques based on Japanese practices for decorating, organizing, preparing food, entertaining, and more. From the kitchen to the bedroom and every space between, here are tips for transforming a home to greet each season-choosing the right sheets and linens for summer, arranging and displaying fresh flowers in spring, taking warm herbal baths in the cool days of autumn, and draping blankets and layering rugs to cozy up a space for winter. Brimming with hundreds of photographs showcasing lovely interiors alongside simple-to-follow tips to elevate any space, this book is an invitation to create a home that nourishes, rejuvenates, and inspires-all year long"--
Garden gnomes may be small, but their problems are often very big. They have issues with snowmen, magnets, bubblegum, and mimes. They really enjoy romance, skinny-dipping, and paper airplanes, but they have major issues with watermelons, mousetraps, trampolines, and teddy bears—and through it all they especially love one special thing. Artist Greg Stones turns his popular, playful illustration style to the tiny troubles of these beloved characters, presenting their inner lives with a warm and witty sense of the absurd.
In an irreverent series in the tradition of Monty Python, the bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes. “Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett.”—Chuck Wendig “When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!”—Terry Brooks Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed. Praise for Kill the Farm Boy “A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style . . . a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python–esque humor and whimsy à la Terry Pratchett’s Discworld.”—Kirkus Reviews “Dawson and Hearne’s reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and William Steig’s Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end.”—Library Journal “Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly.”—SyFy “A smart comedy . . . nuanced, complicated, and human.”—Tordotcom “[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical ‘white male power fantasies,’ and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella.”—Publishers Weekly
Have you ever wondered what happens to that one missing sock of a pair? If you have ever been folding laundry and come up with lone socks, then you may have Sock Gnomes living in your home. Billy Coatbutton is one such Gnome. It is the day of Billy's first test of mastery, a test to see if he will become a treasure hunter like his father. Billy has studied, practiced and prepared for this day for years. Like all Gnomes that have come of age, Billy will soon spin the Wheel of Destiny and discover which item it is that he must find to become a treasure hunter within Sockefeller castle. Along the way he meets an old recluse Sock Gnome named Helix BonsaiTree, who has more than a little to say about the practices of the greedy Sockefellers, and helps Billy to chose the right path. During his dangerous quest Billy must overcome a vicious rat, a hungry cat, and many other obstacles, all without the help or protection of Gnomeland Sockurity. He is determined to pass his test of mastery on the first try, a feat accomplished by only one other Sock Gnome, his father. Billy will face many decisions, the greatest of all will leave the life of a human child hanging in the balance.
Every so often, an epic adventure emerges that makes the blood surge, the spine tingle, and the heart smile page after exhilarating page. Such is Whill of Agora, Michael James Ploof's action-packed fantasy that visits strange new lands as it unveils how one exceptional young man named Whill makes full use of fierce wits, superior skills, and relentless will to help defend the land of Agora from the monstrous Draggard. With plenty of drama and action packed battle scenes, Whill of Agora will enthrall anyone on the quest for great adventure, good times, and an infectiously optimistic outlook on even the darkest and most dangerous of days. It is the year 5170 in the land Agora, where humans, dwarves, and elves have existed in peace for centuries. Now, however, the human King Addakon has invaded and waged war on neighboring Isladon. The once peaceful Kingdoms of Agora are on the brink of continental war. The Dark Elf Eadon, Addakon's master, and his army of Dragon-Elf crossbreeds, the Draggard, threaten to conquer all kingdoms. The final hour has arrived. Enter young Whill, a nineteen-year-old ranger with battle savvy and untapped abilities. Having spent years roaming Agora and training with his mentor Abram, Whill has become a bright intellectual and a master of combat. What he seeks most, however, is the identity of his birth parents. Instead, he finds a tumultuous terrain and a prophecy placing him in the center of the struggle. Along the way, Whill encounters an equally inspired group of companions that are matched in skill and mission. These include Rhunis the Dragon Slayer, the young Tarren, the fearless Dwarf Roakore, the beguiling warrior Elf Avriel, and the powerful Zerafin. As Whill joins forces, he forges bonds far mightier than their escalating travails. With high adventure and fierce friendship, Whill of Agora will capture your imagination and grip your heart during every super-charged escapade that Agora's bold and grinning brotherhood embraces.
Compiled from the notes of three zombie gnome experts (among them a Van Helsing-like zombie gnome hunter, a horticulture student, and a gardening columnist), this guide includes a detailed study of zombie gnome habits, hiding places, and offensive tactics, as well as an intimate history of the zombie gnome rise and eventual war with humanity. Empty-eyed, shambling, and hungry for human ankles, the zombie gnome population is on the rise, infesting the backyards of suburbia and attacking innocent lawn ornaments everywhere. While chances of human survival are minimal, readers can arm themselves with The Zombie Gnome Defense Guide to combat their tiny, undead enemies. Offering strategies for defense against a zombie gnome invasion, the book provides an extensive list of essential weapons and DIY home-fortification tips. Rare illustrations of zombie gnomes in their natural habitat and a priceless collection of never-before-seen photos (housed in an envelope in the back of the book) make this the go-to guide for survivalists in a zombie gnome-infested world.
What do you do when life is too chaotic? How about felting a gnome? Or 365 of them, one for each day of the year. Artist and wool crafter Jessica Peill-Meininghaus decided that she needed a project to teach herself follow-through in life. She settled on making one of her popular felted-wool gnomes every day for a year. With pipe cleaners and wool roving, amidst the chaos of raising four children and moving cross-country, Peill-Meininghaus felted her way through hundreds of charming, pointy-hatted, often bearded characters. Lavishly decorated with photos of each charming creation, The Gnome Project is the surprising and magical story of what happens when we commit to something small. (Hint: It's something very big, as in making life more meaningful.) Here is her inspirational tale, complete with gnome-making instructions.