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The Snark Handbook is back and it’s more uproarious than ever. This revised and expanded edition contains even more snide remarks, witty comebacks, and biting commentary than the bestselling first edition. With dozens of hilarious jokes, plus lists such as “Snarky Movie Descriptions,” “Money Can’t Buy You Happiness, But it Can Buy…”, and “Excuses to Get Out of a Date,” it’s easy to find the perfect bit of irreverence to fit every mood and occasion. The Snark Handbook also features hundreds of the best quotes from beloved heroes of snark: “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”-Dorothy Parker “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’m happy to make an exception”-Groucho Marx “There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best part.”-Charles Dickens “I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.”-Phyllis Diller With charming black and white illustrations to accompany the wry remarks on every page, The Snark Handbook is as fun to look at as it is to read. It’s a must-have whether you want to brush up on your snark, need a good laugh after a bad day, or are looking for the perfect gift for your favorite smartass.
The beloved "Snark Handbook" is back in a new edition--making readers smarterand, more importantly, better than everyone else.
What do Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, Robert Benchley, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Feiffer, Bill Hicks, Bill Maher, Phyllis Diller, Édith Piaf, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Charles Bukowski, and countless others have in common? Not a thing, other than each was a brilliantly snarky wit and all are included in this compendium of the original snark handbooks. Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from: The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition The Snark Handbook: Sex Edition Snark! The Herald Angels Sing The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition The Snark Handbook: Clichés Edition The Snark Handbook: Parenting Edition Isn’t that enough!?!? A minor literary success (beloved by both minors and miners), the snark handbooks have cemented their position in the literary world, high atop toilet seats everywhere. Now in one great big edition, this lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution.
The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that’s sure to change your life—or at least induce a light chuckle. One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark. “She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork.” —Jonathan Swift “Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.” —P. G. Wodehouse “He’s a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.” —Tom Waits “They hardly make ’em like him anymore—but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.” —Hunter S. Thompson “He has a Teflon brain . . . nothing sticks” —Lily Tomlin “He has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair.” —Theodore Roosevelt Snark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that’s saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer!
Renowned snark scholar Lawrence Dorfman is back, bringing together the worlds of snark and insult. The result is nothing short of brilliant. Friend, you hold much more than a book of quotes, but so much less than a masterpiece like Crime and Punishment. Comebacks and curiosities, jokes and philosophical witticisms, all come together in this instant classic. Includes snarks such as: "You're a mouse studying to be a rat." - Wilson Mizner or "Mr. Huxley is perhaps one of those people who have to perpetrate thirty bad novels before producing a good one."- T. S. Eliot on Aldous Huxley or "He knows so little and knows it so fluently." Ellen Glasgow.
Another political year is upon us . . . a year in which we elect another useless figurehead to piss off the masses, confuse the classes, and, above all, reward the jackasses. It will be a time of fear, angst, and anger, the perfect moment for The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition. Filled with quotes, jokes, and timeless snarks, this brave foray into the political theater, old and new, will serve as a priceless source of sanity as you navigate the asylum. In the same inimitable style as the previous bestselling Snark titles, this timely entry is guaranteed to amuse and entertain. The wit and humor of Lawrence Dorfman shines in this collection, where he highlights the ineptitude and malice that is American democracy. You’ll see first-hand the shenanigans that started with our Founding Fathers and still continue bravely on today. Hail to the Chief!
From Mamma's Boy to Daddy's Girl
From the author of the bestselling Snark series comes the premiere guide to satire, sneering, jeering, and mockery in their finest forms. A surviving knight of many a verbal joust, Larry Dorfman has become an expert at backhanded sass and cathartic banter. Featuring life lessons from the master himself, as well as quotes and quips by some of history’s sarcastic greats, The Sarcasm Handbook teaches readers how to deflect stupidity and express their inner dissatisfaction with a keen sensibility, hushing subtlety, and wisecrack wit. Included in these invaluable teachings are chapters on achieving the right tone, sarcastic bastards in history, as well as scenarios depicting some of the greatest moments in sarcasm. So pick up your copy today and start learning the art of disparagement through passive aggressiveness!
Collects the English language's most overused phrases and complements each selection with humorous commentary.
Bah! Humbug! It’s that time of year again….Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find “good cheer,” battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as…dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year’s; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. Enjoy such rotten sugar plums as: • “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”—Victor Borge • “If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it...No awkward explanations of virgin birth...No Irving Berlin songs.”—Among the Top Ten Reasons to Love Hanukkah • “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”—Phyllis Diller The Snark Handbook: Christmas Edition is destined to be a holiday classic.