William F. Gavin
Published: 2005-12-27
Total Pages: 340
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Ripe and ruthless Beltway satire by a former Presidential speechwriter. Peter Holmes Dickinson (of the Main Line Dickinsons), a former top speechwriter for President Tyler "Ty the Guy" Ferguson, is a charming snob, a part-time coke-head, full-time womanizer, and in big trouble. His Washington speechwriting firm is tanking, he owes money to Dean, a hillbilly drug dealer, and also to Jeb Hammerford, a northern Virginia construction executive. And, oh yes, Pete has been shtooping Marlie Rae Perkins, a veritable Valkyrie of a policewoman from rural Virginia, given to periodic fits of overpossessiveness. And then, across a crowded room (actually the foyer in The Kennedy Center), Pete sees Che Che Hart, his former lover. Che Che is beautiful, a Georgetown professor, a kickboxing student, and the daughter of Donna Hart Lyons. Donna is a former soap opera queen, dedicated left-wing activist (Time Magazine called her "The Godmother of the American Left"), and, since the death-by-orgasm of her billionaire octogenarian husband, rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Donna's latest scheme is to reform prostitutes through heavy doses of leftist dogma at The Ernesto "Che" Guevara School for Wayward Girls, located on her Montana ranch. Marrying Che Che would be one way of paying off Pete's debts, but first he has to make her forget what a rat he is. While he is thinking of creative ways to lie to Che Che, he gets a call from Harry Gottlieb, President Ferguson's long-suffering chief-of-staff. Would Pete like to resume doing speeches for Ty the Guy, on the side, but without Ty knowing it is Pete doing the writing? So begins this screamingly funny, page-turning, equal-opportunity-offending political satire.