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It's come to my attention that the old girl's a little bit past her best. And I can hardly maintain my reputation as a terror of the high seas with bits falling off the boat all the time, can I? The Pirate Captain is in trouble. Eager to appease his crew with a boat that has a functioning mast, fewer holes and cannons that actually fire, he splashes out on the fancy new Lovely Emma, spending six thousand doubloons he doesn't have. Finding themselves in debt to the beautiful but deadly Cutlass Liz - or the butcher of Barbados, as she's otherwise known - the pirates need to raise some money fast. In a desperate race against time our heroes embark on an adventure that will take them from the shores of Nantucket to the bright lights of Las Vegas, to the ends of the earth in search of a mythical white whale, and even, perhaps, into the dark depths of madness. But hopefully they'll be home in time for tea.
It's come to my attention that the old girl's a little bit past her best. And I can hardly maintain my reputation as a terror of the high seas with bits falling off the boat all the time, can I? The Pirate Captain is in trouble. Eager to appease his crew with a boat that has a functioning mast, fewer holes and cannons that actually fire, he splashes out on the fancy new Lovely Emma, spending six thousand doubloons he doesn't have. Finding themselves in debt to the beautiful but deadly Cutlass Liz - or the Butcher of Barbados, as she's otherwise known - the pirates need to raise some money fast. In a desperate race against time, our heroes embark on an adventure that will take them from the shores of Nantucket to the bright lights of Las Vegas, to the ends of the earth in search of a mythical white whale, and even, perhaps, into the dark depths of madness. But hopefully they'll be home in time for tea.
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists Not since Moby-Dick...No, not since Treasure Island...Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time at sea, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition. Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies and trying to stick enough jellyfish together to make a bouncy castle, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure. While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it. The Pirates! In an Adventure with Ahab Fresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel–purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, The Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward. Chaos ensues, featuring the lascivious Cutlass Liz, the world’s most dangerous mosquito, an excerpt from the Pirate Captain’s novel in progress (a bodice ripper, of course), whale ventriloquism, practical lessons in whale painting, a shanty-singing contest in a Las Vegas casino, and a dramatic climax in which the Pirate Captain’s Prize Ham saves the day! Move over, Herman Melville.
Since she sailed away after the pirates' adventure with scientists, the pirates' boat has been somewhat battered by the rigours of ocean life. Her mast keeps collapsing, her wheel has broken off and several of the pirates have ended up with nasty splinters. Realising his paintings can only cover up the leaks for so long, the Pirate Captain decides he must pay a visit to Cutlass Liz's boat yard (Liz is 'famed for having the best face on the entire eastern seaboard') and trade his ship in for a newer model. Dazzled by the swan-lined curtains and tennis courts of 'The Lovely Emma', and frankly, by Cutlass Liz's lovely face, the Pirate Captain makes a rash decision and finds himself with a debt of six thousand doubloons, and very little time in which to pay it before the sands of Liz's hourglass run out and he and his crew are gutted like fish. And so the Pirates set forth on a courageous voyage and a desperate quest for some ready cash. Their adventure will take them from the Florida Keys to the bright lights of Las Vegas, to the ends of the earth in search of a mythical white whale, and even, perhaps into the dark depths of madness. But hopefully, they'll be home in time for tea.
1837: the Victorian Era approaches and the golden age of piracy draws to a close. Worried that his pirates are growing bored of roaring, running people through, and sitting about on tropical beaches, the Pirate Captain decides it's time they had an adventure. A chance encounter with the young Charles Darwin leads the Captain and his crew to the fog-filled streets of London, a grisly murder and a diabolical Bishop ...
I've been thinking of an adventure more along the lines of pearl-smuggling in the South Seas or discovering a lost continent. We're being sponsored, you see, so it's got to be full of glamorous locations and scantily clad women. He's conquered the seven seas, hunted Moby Dick and rescued Charles Darwin; now the Pirate Captain and his crew are off on another adventure. Their mission this time: to sail to London, buy a new suit for the Pirate Captain and maybe have some sort of adventure in a barnyard. But nothing is ever straightforward for the hapless pirates. In no time at all, the Pirate Captain is incarcerated at Scotland Yard in a case of mistaken identity. Discovering that his doppelganger is none other than Karl Marx, the Captain and his crew are unwittingly caught up in a sinister plot involving communists, enormous beards and a quest to discover whether ham might really be the opium of the people.
They're back!!! The Pirate Captain and his irascible crew of scoundrels return in their soggiest saga yet. Fresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel----purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, the Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward ...
From the author of The Pirates! In An Adventure with Scientists, now a major motion picture from Aardman Animations ad Sony Pictures
Whilst visiting their bank manager on the shores of Lake Geneva, the Pirate Captain and his crew encounter no less than the literary giants of their age: the swaggering Lord Byron, the oddly shifty Percy Shelley - and his beautiful young fiancée, Mary.Together they embark upon a journey that leads them away from Switzerland into the bowels of Oxford, and finally to the forbidding heart of eastern Europe. It is an adventure that will force the Pirate Captain to confront some important questions, namely: what is the secret behind his mysterious belly tattoo? Is 'Zombuloid, the corpse-beast' a better name for a monster than 'Gorgo: Half-man, half-seaweed'? And, most importantly - what happens when a pirate finally falls in love?Women in diaphanous nighties running down corridors! Brooding men with dark hair! Sinister taxidermy! Ghostly banging noises! The Pirates! In An Adventure with the Romantics contains all these things, as well as a bit where the Captain dresses up as a sexy fireman.
'I HATE pirates!' declares Queen Victoria. Nevertheless, determined to win the coveted Pirate of the Year Award, the Pirate Captain takes his life in his hands and enters the city of London. With the help of Darwin, a manpanzee and a crew of motley misfits, the Pirate Captain struggles to seize booty and restore his pirate honour. Having written the script for the film, Gideon Defoe has brilliantly revisited his story for younger readers. This hilarious book will delight a new generation of fans.