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Adults with Asperger Syndrome (AS) often have difficulties acquiring relationship skills due to the defining characteristics of the syndrome, experiences with peers during childhood and adolescence, and the expectations of their partners. However, an increasing number do go on to achieve happy and successful long-term relationships with non-spectrum (NS) partners. This supportive book will give NS partners a better understanding of NS/AS relationships, and of what other NS partners have found to be helpful in terms of better understanding themselves and their partners, and enriching their relationships. Drawing on interviews with over 100 people in NS/AS relationships, as well as on their own experiences of having family members on the autism spectrum, the authors explore the key differences which may impact upon AS/NS relationships, such as communication, social skills, and sensory issues, and offer tried-and-tested advice on how to surmount difficulties and make things work. The book includes chapters on coping with stress and meltdowns, parenting, positive AS qualities and how to use them to their full advantage in a relationship, as well as advice on how the NS partner can ensure that their own needs are met. This book will provide support and encouragement to those in a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with AS, or who is suspected of having AS, and will also be a useful resource for counsellors and other professionals who wish to deepen their understanding of AS/NS relationships.
If you’re in a relationship with someone who has Asperger’s syndrome, it’s likely that your partner sometimes seems cold and insensitive. Other times, he or she may have emotional outbursts for no apparent reason. And in those moments when you can’t understand each other at all, you both feel fed up, frustrated, and confused. The behavior of people with Asperger’s can be hard to understand and easy to misinterpret, which is why it’s so important to learn more about your partner’s condition. The tools presented in Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome will help you build intimacy and improve the way you and your partner communicate. Filled with assessments and exercises for both you and your partner, this book will help you forge a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. This book will teach you how to: • Understand the effect of Asperger’s syndrome on your partner • Practice effective communication skills • Constructively work through frustrations and fights • Establish relationship ground rules to help you fulfill each others’ needs
Based on academic research, experiences as a counselor specializing in this area and personal relationship experiences, the author uses quotations and real-life examples to illustrate her points with a compassionate understanding. Practical everyday topics include living and coping with AS, anger and AS, getting the message across, sex and AS, parenting, staying together, and "AS cannot be blamed for everything."
Delve into the dramatic impact Asperger Syndrome can have on the complex world of adult interpersonal relationships. Psychologist Kathy Marshack shares poignant true stories based on her own life and the lives of her clients, focusing on how partners/spouses of someone with AS can take back their own life and find true meaning and happiness. The author discusses these sensitive issues and shows readers how to take control of their lives and grow away from dysfunctional behavior and dysfunctional relationships. Each chapter closes with a series of "Lessons Learned" that recap the main points of the chapter and offer new ways to look at these very unique challenges.
First published in 2002. Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis, an informa company.
Rudy Simone covers 22 common areas of confusion for someone dating a female with AS, including advice from her own experience and that of other couples. She talks with humour and honesty about the little things that might be different from a relationship with a neurotypical woman and discusses first dates, sex, and even having children.
Offering practical advice straight from the couples counseling room, Eva A. Mendes provides an insider's view into what couples and counselors can do to help make an ASD relationship last. She outlines the challenges faced in an ASD relationship and provides strategies that can improve the lives and marriages of couples on a daily basis.
′This book breaks down the social, emotional and practical aspects of relationships so usefully that it is a good resource for teachers and others working with neurotypical individuals. In fact the book so sensibly discusses pitfalls, strategies and individual responsibilities that it would be valuable reading for teenagers generally as well as for individuals with Asperger syndrome′ - Tess Coll, autism outreach teacher ′The Asperger Love Guide is recommended reading for those with Asperger′s syndrome who are seeking or within a relationship. The authors provide a clear explanation of how the characteristics of Asperger′s syndrome can affect the development of a relationship and the expression of love. They then provide sound practical advice for individuals and couples. I really enjoyed reading The Asperger Love Guide and will be recommending the book to my clients′ – Professor Tony Attwood `This is the first book I′ve read in a long time that, once started, I couldn′t put down until it was finished. It is an exceptionally good read. The 77 pages are written succinctly with no waffle - just straight to the point. I will definitely buy a copy of this book for the whole family to use! I will use it to guide Joe (my 17 year old Asperger son) when he′s ready for it. It′s not a book he would read himself; in fact I read the section "the merits of single life" out loud to him a bit like a bed time story′ - Action for ASD ′There is a great need for more awareness of Asperger syndrome and how it affects personal relationships. The National Autistic Society find this a helpful guide′ - Cathy Mercer, NAS ′This book sets out some helpful facts about relationships in a neat, simple form′ - Asperger United ′An excellent self ′help-text′... the book is a clear and matter-of-fact guide to relationships and is unapologetic in offering straightforward and helpful advice for romantic success... Not a word is wasted, and as well as being highly recommended for individuals with Asperger′s Syndrome, should also be read by education professionals supporting young people with Asperger′s Syndrome in schools, colleges and universities′ - SENCO Update ′Aimed primarily at individuals with Asperger syndrome, this very readable book is in fact of use to a much wider audience. The issues are discussed openly and logically and the advice given is both sympathetic and very matter of fact... The book breaks down the social, emotional and practical aspects of relationships so usefully that it is a good resource for teachers and others working with neurotypical individuals. Infact the book so sensibly discusses pitfalls, strategies and individual responsibilities that it would be valuable reading for teenagers generally as well as for individuals with Asperger syndrome′ - British Journal of Special Education Material based on the experiences of the people on the Autistic Spectrum is usually written by neurotypical writers. Here, Genevieve and Dean, both adults with Asperger′s Syndrome, share their advice and tips for romantic success. The chapters cover: o building self-esteem; o the best places to meet potential partners; o dating; o maintaining relationships. Both authors work with the Asperger community, either providing support or training, so their insight is based upon other people′s experiences as well as their own. This is shown in a number of case studies that support the elements described in each chapter. They write in a clear, accessible and non-patronizing way which will suit their audience. This will prove to be an invaluable book to those with Asperger′s or those that support Asperger people. Dean Worton is a 31 year-old high functioning individual with a very positive expression of Asperger Syndrome. He runs a successful UK-based website for adults with Asperger Syndrome and hosts real-life meet-ups around the UK for its members. His key interest is in encouraging adults with AS to live positively and successfully with the gifts that Asperger Syndrome provides. He also works in adminstration and resides in North-West England. Genevieve Edmonds is a 23 year old with ′residual′ Asperger Syndrome, which she views as a significant gift. She works as an associate of the Missing Link Support Service in Lancashire supporting those ′disabled by society′ including individuals with ASD. She speaks and writes frequently in the field of Autism, along with giving training, workshops and soon counselling. She aims to empower those with ASD, carers and professionals in the understanding of Asperger Syndrome as a difference rather than an impairment. She lives and works in a solution-focused way and is based in North-West England
This short book, a collection of essays and poems, looks at the loneliness, frustration and sadness experienced, not by the person with the syndrome, but by their partners, parents and other family members: it is they who have to cope with the absence of communication, affection and empathy expected from a reciprocal loving relationship.' - Irish Journal of Medical Science The difficulties faced by people with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) cannot be underestimated, but the emotional problems experienced by those who support them - partners, family and friends - are often over-looked. Focusing on what is referred to as the Cassandra phenomenon, where the neurotypical partner often needs more emotional guidance than the AS partner, this volume gathers together letters, thoughts and poems to give voice to the loneliness, frustration and love felt by many individuals who are close to one or more people with AS. Assembled by FAAAS Inc. (Families of Adults Afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome), a well-known support group specifically for family members, friends and loved ones of people with AS, this collection will provide the emotional support, insight and understanding needed to deal with the emotions that AS evokes within close relationships.
Asperger syndrome (AS) has often been considered to be incompatible with love and relationships, but as the number of people who are diagnosed with the disorder increases, it is becoming apparent that people with AS can and do have full and intimate relationships. Comparing and contrasting both AS and non-AS partners' viewpoints, this book frankly examines the fundamental aspects of relationships that are often complicated by the disorder. With all findings illustrated with case examples taken from interviews conducted with couples, the author tackles issues such as attraction, trust, communication, sex and intimacy, and parenting. Drawing on her extensive research and established career as a Relate counsellor, Maxine Aston has produced a much-needed analysis of intimate relationships where one adult has AS and this book is a must for all those with AS and their partners, as well as for friends, family and counsellors.