Download Free The Old Farts Flatulence Log Book Book in PDF and EPUB Free Download. You can read online The Old Farts Flatulence Log Book and write the review.

The ultimate gag gift! Want to laugh your stinky butt off? Makes a great gift for a boy with a love of potty humor to a co-workers white elephant gift exchange! Grab a few copies and always have a gift on hand! Use this book to record all the rump rippling details such as: Date, Time, Place Who the Butt Burper Was Spectator Reactions Sound Level (whisper, thunder and more) Linger Level (how long that gas lasts) Scent Level (merely a nasal annoyance or did people pass out?) Duration (from a snap to honk and more) A place to journal all the nose tingling notes Name your fart, sketch the stench and rank the rank (Rotten eggs, Beans, Skunk, Skunk That Ate Beans and more! Dimensions: 6x9, 118 pages to record your fart facts
Now, old farts can track their fishing expeditions with this journal that includes space to enter location, weather conditions, details about fish caught and much more.
This newest title in the wildly popular Spotter's Guide series leads readers through the distinct field marks of flatulence in the latter years of life, from "The Crank" (the fart that chases pesky kids—and everyone else—off the lawn) through "The ReAnimator" (the sudden eruption of post-holiday meal flatulence that brings Great Aunt Gladys back from the brink). Each spread is devoted to a singular fart profile and includes helpful information such as age of onset, key characteristics for identification, and prominent subtypes. Detailed "in situ" illustrations and ten distinct push-button sounds complete this indispensable reference to farting happily and healthfully into the autumn years of life.
A collection of visually diverse, humorous stories about old folks, told through their observations about daily life, musings about the past, and abstrast parables.
There are many ways for a young boy to grow into a man. Randal Gritzner took his own unique path. His personality and character were influenced by many people. Many of those people offered good Christian influence, and some offered influence of less positive nature. Randal's parents were strong Christians with exceptional work ethic. Having all four strong Christian grandparents living within one mile offered additional foundation. Randal entered the US Navy with strong convictions that he would never drink alcoholic beverages. He did not live up to those convictions. He became a pot-smoking, beer-drinking man very much the opposite of his intentions. Individuals do come to mind who offered such influence, but Randal made those decisions himself. Nobody else is to blame, but Randal himself. Part of becoming a teacher is learning how to learn. There are many ways to learn, and most universities that offer bachelor degrees in education spend huge amounts of time discussing learning styles. Some people are auditory learners, some are visual learners, and some are tactile-kinesthetic learners. Randal understands and uses all three methods but frequently chose to learn by making mistakes, feeling the pain, and deciding not to feel that pain again. Fortunately for him, he didn't get caught in some of his worst mistakes. That would have changed his life so dramatically that he would have never gotten a job in a room full of teenagers or been loved by the "love of his life." How different would his life be had he never been allowed to teach? How different would his life be had Elvia never taken a second look at him in 1983? She was not looking for an immoral man lacking in integrity. Elvia is a strong Texas woman who doesn't need a man. She has proven to Randal that life with the right person can be incredibly richer than life alone!
If you’re an Old Fart who needs to do something about your shape, or you’d like to help the Old Fart in your life shape up, this is the perfect book for you. If you’re engrossed by TV ads that claim that taking their pills will make your fat disappear or that strapping on and plugging in a device will shock your abs into shape, you’re an Old Fart. If you believe that by exercising your wallet you can look like that 20-something-year-old body builder in the ad, you’re an Old Fart. If money is no object, as long as getting into shape does not mean getting off the couch and actually exercising, then you are an Old Fart who needs to read this seriously funny book. It was after the death of yet another friend in his 50s due to heart failure, that actor/writer Tim Plewman and a group of his friends formed a ‘Fellowship of Old Farts’ to try to avoid a similar fate. Fitness for Old Farts is the outcome and proof that the programme they followed really does work. With humour and empathy, Tim provides practical and honest help to men over the age of 50 hoping to rediscover good health and a respectable physique, while still enjoying mealtimes. Using himself and his friends as role models on what can be achieved with the correct, progressive gym exercise programmes, as well as healthy food choices in the form of tasty and simple-to-prepare recipes, he goes right to the heart of the matter because he understands the problems, fears and motivations relevant to old farts. Tim Plewman’s Fitness for Old Farts will keep you in stitches.
OLD FARTS CLUB We all live with them....decrepid, surly, wrinkled...tin need of either plastic surgery or euthenasia?...but we love 'em. Lined pages - room for their inner cumudgeoning. Dead skin wipes off easily. Great funny gift for those approaching their 30s....or 40s or 50s or 60s...you get the picture.
Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.
"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.
Sure, everyone does it; but everyone tries to hide it a little differently. Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!