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Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to defend yourself, or others, but just didn't have the right words to do so? Of course, a few hours later, when you replay the situation in your mind, the perfect response comes to you. "If I had only said that I would've been a hero!" Yes, we've all been there, and it's a helpless feeling because you know that the moment has passed for good. For all intents and purposes, you lost. In this book, you'll get a full breakdown of the ways to come right back to those individuals who are attempting to cut you down. You'll discover clever ways to instantly dominate any situation where another person is trying to insult you or your friends. You'll quickly become a master of the craft and be able to call upon these comebacks, or come up with your own using this proven formula, at any time. No more regrets, no more shoulda-coulda-wouldas. No more losing. Consider this comeback system as your compass that allows you to navigate the rough terrain we call social class and order. I wrote this book because you needed support from someone who has been there before. Know that I have a personal stake in this and have tapped back into my own childhood and current everyday life to try and understand both sides of this natural phenomenon. The defenseless need defending. The common person needs armor and weapons when it is their time to attack. You are my inspiration for this. Here's how it works: At the top of the page there will be a cut-down, directly below will be a brief insight into the cut-down, and at the bottom, there will be several different comebacks to the cut-down. The following pages will change your life for the better. The time for lying down is over. The time has come for a shift in power. It's time for a new hero-story to be written. Is it your time? Will you be that hero? It is yours for the taking if you are ready. Are you ready?
Feeling put down? Feeling insulted? Snap back! In this collection, readers find hundreds of funny ways to do just that, with some of the best and worst jokes around, silly gags, nutty one-liners, and more!
n A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them. He offers advice, based primarily on the writings of the Stoic philosophers, on how best to curb our own insulting tendencies and how to respond to the insults that are directed our way. A rousing follow-up to The Good Life, A Slap in the Face will interest anyone who's ever delivered an insult or felt the sting of one--in other words, everyone.
Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" never met an a**hole. Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, including: "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed Ali You won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool. So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.
Garfield, the feline master of the ironic aside, puts his paw to the grindstone and lets loose with these gems: good-natured insults, purr-fect put-downs, and deceptively sweet slams. For the young, the old, and the cranky at heart, Garfield knows how you feel sometimes—and he says it, in so many words.
Lackbrain, oysterwench, wantwit, clotpoll--Samuel Johnson's famous dictionary of 1755 contained some of the ripest insults in the English language. In Samuel Johnson's Insults, Jack Lynch has compiled more than 300 of the curmudgeonly lexicographer's mightiest barbs, along with definitions only the master himself could elucidate. Word lovers will delight in flexing their linguistic muscles with devilishly descriptive vituperations that pack a wicked punch. Many of these zingers have long lain dormant. Some have even come close to extinction. Now they're back in all their prickly glory, ready to be relished once more.
Pickup LinesThe Ultimate Book of Pickup Lines. Over 200 Funny, Clever, Cheeky and Adult Pickup Lines and Comebacks So, you want to brush up on your pickup lines? Well at Puma Pants we have got your back. We know what it's like to approach a nice piece of crumpet, only to realize that you have nothing to say and to just end up standing there awkwardly looking at her chesticles. We are also fully aware this this book is great for reading while you're honking out a dirt snake. So if it ends up being kept in the toilet, fair enough. We have come to terms with it. We have also made sure the pages are as non-absorbent as possible, so if you run out of toilet paper you couldn't use this book as a makeshift ass wipe even if you want to. Anyway, get reading and let's get on with making you into a complete studly dreamboat! Tags: pickup lines, corny pickup lines, dirty pickup lines, cute pickup lines, good pickup lines, bad pickup lines, pickup line, cheesy pickup lines, best pickup lines, nerdy pickup lines, romantic pickup lines, worst pickup lines, great pickup lines, stupid pickup lines, lame pickup lines, awesome pickup lines, creepy pickup lines, funny pickup lines, chemistry pickup lines, cheesiest pickup lines, harry potter pickup lines, sweet pickup lines, science pickup lines, funniest pickup lines, best pickup line, girl pickup lines, nasty pickup lines, hilarious pickup lines, cheesy pickup line, cheesey pickup lines, funny pickup line, dumb pickup lines, clean pickup lines, dirtiest pickup lines, jewish pickup lines, pickup lines funny, chessy pickup lines, cheap pickup lines, nerd pickup lines, star wars pickup lines, smooth pickup lines
The beloved "Snark Handbook" is back in a new edition--making readers smarterand, more importantly, better than everyone else.
You don’t have to be Jewish to get back at the shmendriks* of the world Yiddish. It’s the most colorful language in the history of mankind. What other language gives you a whole dictionary of ways to tell someone to drop dead? That schmuck who got promoted over you? Meigulgl zol er vern in a henglaykhter, by tog zol er hengen, un by nakht zol er brenen. (He should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night.) That soccer mom kibitzing on her cell phone and tying up traffic? Shteyner zol zi hobn, nit keyn kinder. (She should have stones and not children.) If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Say It in Yiddish is the perfect glossary of Yiddish insults and curses, from the short and sweet to the whole megillah (Khasene hobn zol er mit di malekh hamoves tokhter: He should marry the daughter of the Angel of Death.) Complete with hundreds of the most creative insults for the putzes** and kvetchers *** of the world, this is an indispensable guide for Jews and Gentiles alike. When it comes to cursing someone who sorely needs it, may you never be at a loss for words again. *Idiots **More idiots ***Complainer; a pain in the tuchas**** **** One’s rear end
If you can't say something nice... say it in emoji. Shock your friends and family with this brilliantly offensive collection of emoji put-downs and comebacks. With this handy guide, the endless potential for a punishing emoji burn will be opened to you like never before – far beyond just relying on the classic middle finger symbol. From everyday insults to brutal Shakespearean zingers, classic movie put-downs to the best ‘your mum’ jokes, this is your complete phrasebook for the ever more savage world of emoji insults.