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In her latest book, relationship expert Rokelle Lerner, tackles the innerworkings of narcissism and offers compassionate and realistic advice for surviving a relationship with those afflicted with this personality disorder. A Narcissist can make life exhilaratingly exciting one minute, and shear hell the next. A narcissist has no qualms about taking another's money, love, admiration, body or soul to satisfy their unquenchable hunger. They are not inherently evil, but unfortunately their wounds compel them to act in ways that are sometimes unconscionable, damaging, and ultimately tragic. Whether a mother-in-law, friend, coworker or boss, sometimes it's impossible to avoid narcissists, so instead of being miserable or taken advantage of, Rokelle Lerner shares her insights on the dynamics behind this personality disorder to give readers the tools to cope with narcissists, including: Learning to see narcissists as they see themselves Creating defense factors to ward them off Maintaining a balanced relationship based on mutual love, not one-sided narcissism
How to Manage the Narcissistic People in Your Life Does your boss constantly blame you for things you didn't do? Do you isolate yourself from friends and family to avoid conflict at home? Do you feel anxious when you see a certain 'friend's' name on your cell phone? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely have a narcissist in your life. The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection will help you understand the complexities of this disorder and arm you with the coping mechanisms to navigate through this type of relationship. Narcissists suffer from a personality disorder that began in the early stages of childhood. They are stuck in an early development stage where there is tremendous self-interest, excessive self-absorption, and extreme entitlement. Their behavior is a consequence of early childhood abandonment and abuse. Rokelle Lerner specializes in working with narcissists and the people they impact. Her astounding results in improving the quality of life for those that live or work with narcissists has been recognized by therapists across the country. She explains why narcissists do the things they do and how you can protect yourself from their intimidation and manipulations. Lerner shows you how to: Spot a narcissist at work and in your personal life Set appropriate boundaries to avoid further conflict Avoid antagonizing a narcissist at work or at home Narcissists are disarming, manipulative, and mesmerizing by nature. The Object of My Affection is in My Reflection will help you see through their charm so you can recharge your spirit, redefine your purpose, and regain your life.
Isn’t it time you stopped walking on eggshells? Learn how with this fully revised and updated third edition of a self-help classic—now with more than one million copies sold! Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are ‘walking on eggshells’ to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is ‘yes,’ someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD)—a mood disorder that causes negative self-image, emotional instability, and difficulty with interpersonal relationships. Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped more than a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this difficult disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised third edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research on comorbidity, extensive new information about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), the effectiveness of schema therapy, and coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD or NPD sufferer in your life. This compassionate guide will enable you to: Make sense out of the chaos Stand up for yourself and assert your needs Defuse arguments and conflicts Protect yourself and others from violent behavior If you’re ready to bring peace and stability back into your life, this time-tested guide will show you how, one confident step at a time.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Practice makes perfect. Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing. Failure is not an option. In today's perfection-obsessed culture, these are the maxims we live by. Yet, the damage that they cause is stifling. Renowned author and pioneer of codependency treatment Ann W. Smith knows this first hand. Smith has dealt with her fair share of perfectionism and has bared witness to this all too common phenomenon in her professional life, having spent the last thirty years studying the impact compulsive disorders have on individuals and family. While perfectionism lacks much of the stigma attached to today's most common compulsions—smoking, gambling, sex addiction, alcoholism, and drug abuse—many of the negative connotations on self and the family system are the same. Psychological and physical implications include: Headaches Isolation Anxiety attacks Fear of failure Sleep disturbances Digestive problems Back pain Overeating Sexual dysfunction Depression Suicidal thoughts or tendencies An inability to establish proper boundaries Overly critical of others The need to be in control Excessive guilt and shame In this revised and updated edition of the original, groundbreaking book Overcoming Perfectionism: The Key to a Balanced Recovery, Smith describes the key differences between overt and covert perfectionism; the role early attachment, temperament, sibling relationships, and life circumstances play in developing this pattern; and how to shift toward a center of balance for a more fulfilling life. Readers will learn how to identify and confront the root cause of their problem, how to reveal and accept their essence, and finally, they will learn the importance of forgiveness and letting go. Additionally, readers discover the key characteristics of a healthy family system, along with the single most important lesson of all—perfection does not exist.
Using the written word as her witness statement, Jessica Willis Fisher gives a lacerating portrait of a girl finding her voice after years of being silenced and an unforgettable story of risk and faith. Growing up the eldest daughter in a large, highly controlled, fundamentalist Christian household, Jessica Willis was groomed to perform, and to conform to her father's disturbing and chaotic teachings. Cut off from anything unapproved by her father, Jessica was persistently curious about the outside world, always wondering what was normal or potentially dangerous about her upbringing. When the Willis family rocketed into fame after their appearances on multiple televised talent competitions in 2014, Jessica and her family landed their own reality TV show and toured across the globe, singing and dancing for millions. The world loved this beautiful family of kids; young and vivacious, the Willis's presented themselves to be extraordinary and happy. But the older and wiser Jessica got, the more she had to face that what was going on behind closed doors would forever be escalating. In this elegant, harrowing story of the manipulation and codependency that defines abusive family relationships, Jessica Willis Fisher lets us see the formative moments of her childhood through her eyes. Fisher's haunting coming-of-age memoir captures the beauty and ugliness of a young woman finding her way—filled with longing, fear, confusion, secrecy, and most importantly, hope for the future. Unspeakable: Surviving My childhood and Finding My Voice shares: An unflinching look at the manipulation and codependency that defines abusive family relationships The formative moments of Jessica's childhood through her eyes An unforgettable story of courage and strength Beautifully written and monumental in its bravery, Fisher's story is proof that we can all become so much more that the things that happen to us.
The newest addition to the popular Quick-Reference Guide collection, The Quick-Reference Guide to Addictions and Recovery Counseling focuses on the widespread problem of addictions of all kinds. It is an A-Z guide for assisting pastors, professional counselors, and everyday believers to easily access a full array of information to aid them in formal and informal counseling situations. Each of the forty topics covered follows a helpful eight-part outline and identifies (1) typical symptoms and patterns, (2) definitions and key thoughts, (3) questions to ask, (4) directions for the conversation, (5) action steps, (6) biblical insights, (7) prayer starters, and (8) recommended resources.
On the journey through significant personal transition, emotional pain, struggle, and fear are inevitable, and all of us are in the same boat. No one is immune to loss and difficult times. We are all challenged, knocked down or wounded by life sometimes. Transforming these occurrences into an enriching experience is a choice. Choosing to transcend trials and tragedies and grow from them is a spiritual decision and moves us further up the spiral of growth. This work is meant to inform, touch, and inspire readers to do just that. The author tells the story of learning to live more fully and consciously as she moved through times of extreme anguish, bewilderment and loss. She describes how “The 4 Rs” helped her transcend those trials. These are the fundamentals that see us through tough times. With stories, information and exercises, the book provides valuable guidance for weathering the storms and navigating the byways of life, moving readers toward acceptance, authenticity and meaning.
In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships. Exploring how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes the "Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism" and their origins. You will learn to recognize these hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism -- Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, Bad Boundaries -- and to understand the roles that parenting and culture play in their creation. Whether the narcissist in question is a coworker, spouse, parent, or child, Why Is It Always About You? provides abundant practical advice for anyone struggling to break narcissism's insidious spread to the next generation, and for anyone who encounters narcissists in everyday life.
“A compact but thorough guide to successfully handling and surviving a divorce.” —PsychCentral The bestselling author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers draws on her expertise in treating men, women, and children damaged by narcissists in this practical guide to divorce and its aftermath. Narcissism—a personality disorder that goes beyond mere selfishness and vanity—is a prevalent cause of marital and family problems. Narcissists do not have the capacity to love, understand other people’s emotions, or feel empathy. They are grandiose in their need for praise and attention, they overestimate their abilities, and they diminish people around them with emotional abuse. Being in an intimate relationship with a narcissist destroys your hopes, dreams, and peace of mind and erodes your children’s emotional health and your finances. Does this sound like what you have to deal with? If you ever look at your partner and wonder in despair if you will ever be free, the answer is yes, you can be. A leading authority on narcissism, Dr. Karyl McBride offers proven therapeutic advice that will help you protect and nurture yourself and your children through your difficult divorce, from separating from your narcissistic partner and navigating the court system, where a narcissist can be especially destructive, to a restorative healing program of trauma recovery.
Jesus warned of wolves carefully disguised as shepherds coming into local churches as pastors. It is the perfect disguise for a predator to access and devour the flock one lamb at a time while proclaiming himself as their protector and guardian. The result is spiritual devastation, broken congregations, and even destroyed churches. Darrell Puls attests from experience that the enemy has infiltrated the North American church through pastors with dangerously high levels of narcissism. These pastors hide under layers of the sacred, but it is always an illusion of smoke and mirrors. Puls has experienced this reality from the inside as a staff pastor under a narcissist, and from the outside as a church consultant. He carefully unpacks toxic narcissism in everyday terms, and lets the victims tell their own stories. Let Us Prey, Revised Edition is as real as it gets.