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How women can overcome the pressure to please others and feel free to be their true selves Are you too nice for your own good? Do family members manipulate you? Do coworkers take advantage of you? If this sounds familiar, read The Nice Girl Syndrome. In this breakthrough guide, renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships, can show you how to take control of your life and take care of yourself. Engel explains that women today simply cannot afford to be Nice Girls, because women who are too nice send the message that they are easy targets and are much more likely to be victimized emotionally, physically, and sexually. She identifies the seven different types of Nice Girls and helps you understand which type or types might apply to you. Engel helps you determine whether the Nice Girl Syndrome is keeping you in an abusive relationship or in manipulative situations and helps you change Nice Girl beliefs and behaviors that are holding you back. Shows you how to confront the beliefs and behaviors that keep you stuck in a Nice Girl act as you replace them with healthier, more empowering ones Includes inspiring stories of women Engel has worked with who have found the courage and strength to stop taking abuse and start standing up for themselves "This book will challenge, entertain, and empower its readers."--Publishers Weekly (starred review) Written by renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships Filled with wise advice, powerful exercises, and practical prescriptions, The Nice Girl Syndrome shows you step by step how to take control of your life and be your own strong woman.
Before you were told to "Lean In," Dr. Lois Frankel told you how to get that corner office. The New York Times bestseller, is now completely revised and updated. In this edition, internationally recognized executive coach Lois P. Frankel reveals a distinctive set of behaviors--over 130 in all--that women learn in girlhood that ultimately sabotage them as adults. She teaches you how to eliminate these unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back and offers invaluable coaching tips that can easily be incorporated into your social and business skills. Stop making "nice girl" errors that can become career pitfalls, such as: Mistake #13: Avoiding office politics. If you don't play the game, you can't possibly win. Mistake #21: Multi-tasking. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should do it. Mistake #54: Failure to negotiate. Don't equate negotiation with confrontation. Mistake #70: Inappropriate use of social media. Once it's out there, it's hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube. Mistake #82: Asking permission. Children, not adults, ask for approval. Be direct, be confident.
Offering the same brand of practical, no-holds-barred, expert advice that made Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office an international million-copy bestseller, Nice Girls Just Don't Get It teaches us the skills we need to turn from a nice girl into a winning woman, not just in our careers but in our relationships, families, and everyday lives. Have you ever felt invisible? Taken advantage of? Reluctant (or unable) to articulate what you really want? If so, join the club. The nice girls club. Nice girls—that's right, girls—are those more concerned with pleasing others than with addressing their own needs and haven't yet learned how to overcome the childhood messages cultural stereotypes keeping them from getting their voices heard, their needs met, and the lives they want. This book will turn those nice girls into winning women. That is, women who factor their own needs in with those of others, confront those who treat them disrespectfully, maintain healthy and mutually beneficial relationships with appropriate boundaries— and as a result, are happier and more successful in every area of their life. In 2004, Lois Frankel blew the lid off so many of our long-held ideas about gender and success with her bestselling Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, which went on to become such a huge phenomenon, the term "nice girls" has secured a place in our cultural lexicon. Here, Frankel teams up with negotiation expert Carol Frohlinger to bring this bestselling advice out of the workplace and provide a broader set of skills that any woman—whether a CEO or stay-at-home mom—can use to win anywhere, with anyone. Presented in the straightforward, digestible format that helped make Nice Girl's Don't Get the Corner Office an instant hit, Frankel and Frohlinger outline seven practical strategies and 99 supporting tactics that every winning woman should know. By the time you've finished reading this book, you'll be able to: • Get your husband to do his half of the household chores—without being made to feel like a nag. • Stop overextending yourself by taking on all the unpleasant tasks no one on your volunteer board, or your team at work will go near. • Win an argument with your mother in law about who will be hosting Christmas dinner. • Have the courage to send back a meal that isn’t prepared the way you’d ordered it. • Confront a colleague who is shirking responsibility or taking credit for your work. • Convince a sales person to reduce a fee, waive a surcharge, or honor a store credit. • Question a doctor’s course or treatment or request a second opinion, instead of simply going along in order to be a “good” patient. • Firmly but politely bow out of an extravagant vacation to celebrate a friend’s birthday that you simply can’t afford–without feeling guilty about it. And so much more. A must-read for anyone who's ever felt taken advantage of by a friend or family member, unappreciated by a spouse or partner, or exploited by a vindictive neighbor or co-worker, Nice Girls Just Don't Get It offers women the indispensable knowledge and skills to get the things they want, the respect they've earned, and the success they deserve. From the Hardcover edition.
When passivity and false niceness don't bring the abundant life Jesus promised, some Christian women try even harder to hide behind a fragile façade of pleasant perfection. Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler give women the empowering message that they have options far beyond simply acting nice or being mean--if they will emulate the real Jesus Christ and face their fears of conflict, rejection, and criticism. Brimming with enlightening information, thought-provoking questionnaires, real-life stories, and biblically based teaching from both the male author of the pioneering No More Christian Nice Guy and a female clinical psychologist, this book will motivate women to allow God to transform them into authentic, powerful women of loving faith.
Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.
Testimonials for Nice Girls Can Finish First “In Nice Girls Can Finish First, Daylle Deanna Schwartz proves that women who are basically good-hearted can still be taken seriously in both their business and personal lives. In fact, when used properly, kindness and consideration can go further than selfishness and bitchiness. Good lessons to learn and live by.” ~~Nina Disesa, chairman of McCann Erickson New York and author of Seducing the Boys Club. "Never underestimate the power of a woman - especially a nice one. This book is a must read for today's world where, thankfully, nice is finally getting the respect it deserves. Mean is so last millennium. Nice Girls Can Finish First offers brilliant tools and savvy advice for making 'nice' work for you in business and in life. Nice girls do finish first and this is their 'how-to' manual." ~~Linda Kaplan Thaler, CEO of The Kaplan Thaler Group and bestselling author of The Power of Nice. “Anybody can be a bitch. And effective as that might be in the short run, in the long run (and it is a long run) it'll bring you down. It takes a woman who's smart, strong and confident to assume the best from people and motivate them to deliver it. Daylle Deanna Schwartz shows you how to finish first - every time.” ~~Gail Blanke, Author, Throw Out Fifty Things, Clear the Clutter Find Your Life, life coach and motivator “Daylle Deanna Schwartz provides many constructive techniques for being soft-spoken, friendly and considerate to others in ways that get satisfying results. This book is for women who are fundamentally nice, want to stay true to that and who also want to be taken seriously, earn respect and get their needs met.” Terrie M. Williams, author of The Personal Touch: What You Really Need To Succeed in Today's Fast-Paced Business World THE NICE GIRL'S GUIDE TO GETTING AHEAD-WITHOUT GETTING MEAN Are you a “People Pleaser”? Do you put up with put-downs? Say yes when you're dying to say no? Sit down when you should be standing up for yourself? Congratulations, you're a nice girl. Nothing wrong with that-unless your need to be liked is holding you back from having the career, money, love, respect, and happiness you deserve. This step-by-step guide from a self-described former “doormat” shows you that you don't have to be a demanding diva or mean girl to get what you want. There's a “nice” way to be assertive-in business and in life. Once you learn the secret, you can: Speak up-without shouting Say no-without sounding negative Be strong-without being aggressive Get respect-without getting tough Ask for anything you want-and get it! Filled with subtle conversational techniques and people-friendly pointers you can put to work immediately, Nice Girls Can Finish First is the perfect go-to guide for women who know they deserve more out of life-but don't want to step on other people to get to the top. This book proves you can be strong, confident, powerful, successful-and nice too!
A series of true stories that are at once relatable, funny, and heart-wrenching, join lauded writer Marissa Miller on a journey of battling imposter syndrome and learning to be proud to stand out. Acclaimed writer and editor Marissa Miller was born into what you would call a nice Jewish family. But she somehow grew into anything but a Nice Jewish Girl. From openly discussing any and all bodily functions with whoever would listen, to encouraging her peers to join her in undressing in the hallways at school for no reason other than to fight the oppressive institution of modern academia, she was continuously scolded by members of the Jewish community for exploring her identity and pushing the boundaries of what a “nice girl” is allowed to do. To make sense of being the odd one out, she did what any confused teenager would do: she wrote. She wrote poems on MySpace, articles for her school newspaper, extra credit English assignments to compensate for her complete and utter lack of math skills, and eventually, reported pieces for many of the world’s most prestigious media publications. But the transition to a lucrative journalism career didn’t come without is growing pains. Getting anywhere past the school newspaper stage and being asked to provide journalism lectures around the city inspired a sense of panic, dread, and most notably, impostor syndrome—the sense that success is a product of coincidence and luck as opposed to hard work and talent. No fellow journalists she idolized growing up seemed to have had a history of behavior so crude it would make your Rabbi blush. Surely, the Universe was thisclose to taking everything away from her. And to some extent, it did. In Pretty Weird—a series of true stories that are at once relatable, funny, and heart-wrenching—you’ll learn about why, like Miller, you’re worthy of success by virtue of you thinking you’re not, about why there’s no such thing as being “not sick enough” to deserve help, and that living in that liminal space of being too normal to stand out, yet too weird to fit in, is truly where all the magic happens.
AARP Digital Editions offer you practical tips, proven solutions, and expert guidance. In Healing Your Emotional Self, Beverly Engel provides a program to help readers raise their self-esteem, quiet their inner critic, and overcome their shame. Those who were emotionally abused or neglected in childhood tend to suffer from self-criticism, low self-esteem, self-doubt, a poor body image, perfectionism, and unhealthy shame. Now renowned psychotherapist Beverly Engel presents a psychologically sound, step-by-step program to help adult survivors heal the damage to their self-image caused by negative parental messages and treatment. Healing Your Emotional Self shows readers how to become reunited with their true self, quiet their inner critic, raise their self-esteem, and begin to love their body. Engel also teaches survivors how to separate emotionally from their parents and provide for themselves what they missed as a child.
The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the controlyouwant.Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life (2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage (3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.
How women can overcome the pressure to please others and feel free to be their true selves Are you too nice for your own good? Do family members manipulate you? Do coworkers take advantage of you? If this sounds familiar, read The Nice Girl Syndrome. In this breakthrough guide, renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships, can show you how to take control of your life and take care of yourself. Engel explains that women today simply cannot afford to be Nice Girls, because women who are too nice send the message that they are easy targets and are much more likely to be victimized emotionally, physically, and sexually. She identifies the seven different types of Nice Girls and helps you understand which type or types might apply to you. Engel helps you determine whether the Nice Girl Syndrome is keeping you in an abusive relationship or in manipulative situations and helps you change Nice Girl beliefs and behaviors that are holding you back. Shows you how to confront the beliefs and behaviors that keep you stuck in a Nice Girl act as you replace them with healthier, more empowering ones Includes inspiring stories of women Engel has worked with who have found the courage and strength to stop taking abuse and start standing up for themselves "This book will challenge, entertain, and empower its readers."--Publishers Weekly (starred review) Written by renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships Filled with wise advice, powerful exercises, and practical prescriptions, The Nice Girl Syndrome shows you step by step how to take control of your life and be your own strong woman.