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Gift.
Almost 50 years since its first printing, this famous collection of children's wisdom and witticisms is now back in print in a facsimile edition to entertain a whole new generation. KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS! includes the best of the unconsciously funny, everyday thoughts and reactions kids shared with kid-at-heart Art Linkletter on his long-running radio and television series House Party .Gems include tips for conjuring up a sibling: "Give Mommy a lot of real sweet food so she'll get fat -that's how you get a baby ";and hysterical observations: "Our pussycat has got some kittens and I didn't even know she was married. "Illustrated with cartoons by Charles Schulz (yes, that Charles Schulz) and with a new introduction by Bill Cosby, KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS! will prove as popular with the readers of today as it was when it first was published five decades ago.
Dickens' classic tale in a country-western version.
An illustrated gift book that brings to life the universal parenting experience of saying strange and hilarious things to one's kids. As the father of five boys (all under age 10), graphic designer Nathan Ripperger has found himself saying some rather funny, absurd, and downright bizarre things to his children, from "Stop riding that penguin, we're leaving" to "I am NOT talking to you until you are wearing underwear." He created poster-like images for each and posted them online. The response from other parents was overwhelming. With Things I've Said to My Children, Ripperger has assembled around 80 of the funniest, weirdest, and most amusing sayings and paired them with full-color, designed images that bring these outrageously hysterical quotes to life. Covering the essential parenting topics like food, animals, don'ts, and of course, bodily functions, Things I've Said to My Children is a light-hearted illustrated reminder of the shared absurdity of parenthood. Especially for those parents who've ever found themselves uttering some variation of the line, "Please don't eat the goldfish crackers you've put in your butt."
Gay Husbands Say the Darndest Things is a compilation of writings by Bonnie Kaye, M.Ed., the international counseling specialist for straight/gay marriages and 50 women from her support network in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia. The biggest problem facing women who unknowingly marry gay/bisexual men is the lack of a confession by their husbands. To keep their homosexuality a secret, gay men who marry straight women will blame the problems of the marriage on their wives even though it is caused by their own frustration of being stuck in a marriage to a woman. They would rather point the finger of blame at their wives instead of telling the truth about their homosexuality. Kaye's goal for this book is to alert women who are at the beginning of their discovery or recovery journey to read what others were told by their husbands before the truth was learned. The women who contributed the material went through the same doubts when they were "gay lighted" by their husbands for years with stories that were genuinely convincing. Kaye also explains why gay men who are hiding in straight-gay marriages remain there and sometimes even remarry another woman after the divorce. Kaye tells women to get their pens ready so they can make checkmarks next to the statements shared by the other women in the book revealing the comments their husbands have said to them. After counting how many similar statements they check off in the book, they will know the truth. About the Author: Bonnie Kaye is an internationally recognized relationship counselor/author in the field of straight/gay marriages. She has provided relationship counseling and support for nearly 30 years to more than 85,000 women who have sexually dysfunctional husbands due to homosexuality, bisexuality, or other sexual addictions and fetishes. She is considered an authority in this field by other professionals and the media. Kaye has published eight books on straight/gay relationships, which have sold thousands of copies. Her website www.Gayhusbands.com has consistently remained in the number one position on Google, Yahoo, and other major search engines since its launching in the year 2000. When media contacts want an expert, they go to Bonnie Kaye who has more experience and expertise than any other person in the United States. Her official book website is located at www.BonnieKayeBooks.com. Kaye's support network has over 7,000 women around the world who receive her free monthly newsletter. She also has online computer support chat as well as a weekly internet radio show on Sundays, Straight Wives Talk Show on www.Blogtalkradio.com that can be accessed 24/7 around the world via the computer. Kaye's other books include: The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder; Straight Wives: Shattered Lives (Volumes 1 and 2); ManReaders: A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men; Bonnie Kaye's Straight Talk; How I Made My Husband Gay: Myths About Straight Wives; Doomed Grooms: Gay and Bisexual Husbands in Straight Marriages; and Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages.
NATIONAL BESTSELLER A charmingly relatable and wise memoir-in-essays by acclaimed writer and bookseller Mary Laura Philpott, “the modern day reincarnation of…Nora Ephron, Erma Bombeck, Jean Kerr, and Laurie Colwin—all rolled into one” (The Washington Post), about what happened after she checked off all the boxes on a successful life’s to-do list and realized she might need to reinvent the list—and herself. Mary Laura Philpott thought she’d cracked the code: Always be right, and you’ll always be happy. But once she’d completed her life’s to-do list (job, spouse, house, babies—check!), she found that instead of feeling content and successful, she felt anxious. Lost. Stuck in a daily grind of overflowing calendars, grueling small talk, and sprawling traffic. She’d done everything “right” but still felt all wrong. What’s the worse failure, she wondered: smiling and staying the course, or blowing it all up and running away? And are those the only options? Taking on the conflicting pressures of modern adulthood, Philpott provides a “frank and funny look at what happens when, in the midst of a tidy life, there occur impossible-to-ignore tugs toward creativity, meaning, and the possibility of something more” (Southern Living). She offers up her own stories to show that identity crises don’t happen just once or only at midlife and reassures us that small, recurring personal re-inventions are both normal and necessary. Most of all, in this “warm embrace of a life lived imperfectly” (Esquire), Philpott shows that when you stop feeling satisfied with your life, you don’t have to burn it all down. You can call upon your many selves to figure out who you are, who you’re not, and where you belong. Who among us isn’t trying to do that? “Be forewarned that you’ll laugh out loud and cry, probably in the same essay. Philpott has a wonderful way of finding humor, even in darker moments. This is a book you’ll want to buy for yourself and every other woman you know” (Real Simple).
Kids do and say the darndest things and this lovingly gathered collection from hundreds of parents showcases the hilarious, precocious and sometimes profound comments from toddlers and schoolchildren on life as they see it.
"Heard on the Playground," LOL Second Edition for Tweens will keep your tweens laughing all the way to the end. Chock full of the funny things kids say, the tween population will see their siblings and it will remind them of what they used to think when they were little. Illustrated with kid drawings throughout, it is an easy, fun read that will interest that hard-to-please age between nine and twelve. But moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas will also find these "blowing snot" funny, and the younger kids will laugh too. "Heard on the Playground," is real time family fun!
Ask a kid a question, and you never know what will tumble out. Here, from bestselling author and brilliant child-at-heart Suzy Becker, is a marvelously interactive way to involve kids in the challenges of life, from what to do about the ozone layer to how to mend a broken heart. Surprising, imaginative, funny, wise, The Kids Make It Better Book is a pure delight, combining a "kids say the darndest things" and Children's Letters to God humor with a greater goal: that of teaching kids the value of being engaged. Each "problem" begins with a spread that asks a question and gives one or more solutions from children—illustrated in whimsical full-color drawings by the author. Then the reader is presented with two pages of fill-ins, prompts, and a space to draw his or her own ideas. How do you fix a bad economy? "The government should have a bake sale," says Jennifer, age 9. What would you do to improve schools? "Put chocolate milk in the water fountain."—Robert, age 8. What can we do to take better care of our water? "Have scientists make fish that love to eat tons of pollution."—Jackie, age 9. And finally, a question on the nature of helping itself: The biggest challenge of all might be getting people up off their couches to do something. Any ideas? "Put spikes on the couches"—Micah, age 10.