Download Free The Musicians Joke Book Book in PDF and EPUB Free Download. You can read online The Musicians Joke Book and write the review.

A side-splitting selection of one-liners, comic definitions, yarns and witty quotes from the world of music. Most professions have their own jokes, but musicians seem to have more than their fair share. Perhaps it's the insane travel schedule, the bad lodgings or just lack of sleep. But as Jim Green says in his introduction, "...it's not surprising we're a band apart (so to speak), outcasts who seek only our own company, rubbing two jokes together for warmth and trying to feel superior by sneering at one another's abilities and personalities." So maybe the reason musicians love poking fun at one another is nothing more than getting in first before everyone else does. Or perhaps choosing laughter is the only alternative to despair... Anyway, here is a truly great selection of jokes, quotes and stories from the world's second oldest profession. Enjoy! Q: What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo? A: When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim. Q: What do you throw a drowning lead guitarist? A: His amp. Q: Why was the clarinetist staring at the orange juice bottle? A: Because the label said "concentrate." "I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." Elvis Presley
Humour.
Funny Jokes About Music! Are you looking for the most funny and hilarious music jokes online? Do you want to dominate joke battles and be the funniest person around? This joke book will make you giggle for hours with some of the funniest jokes about music and musicians in the world. Including 100+ jokes! The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy about music and musicians. These jokes are for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This joke book contains a ton of laugh out loud jokes! WARNING: You will laugh a lot! From this Funny Joke Book... Q: How is a heart like a musician? A: They both have a beat! HAHA! Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music. LOL! Q: Why did they arrest the musician? A: He got into treble. HAHA! Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up. LOL! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from the bagpipe recital. HAHA! Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion. Funny and hilarious music and musician jokes! Your musician friends might not think these jokes are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This collection of musical jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about music and musicians will make everyone giggle and erupt with laughter. This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!
The authoritative collection of music jokes, covering classical, pop, jazz, and folk, including everything from the truly stupid to the musically complex joke.
How do you get a guitarist to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of him. What do you call guys that hang out with musicians? Drummers. Here it is the dirty, the absurd, the witty side of rock and roll as it turns 50. The love of young America's music in its purest form: The Joke.
What are musicians really like?
Afrofuturism, a movement that began in the Black community during the early 20th Century as an escape from racial hostility, economic turmoil, and aggressive policing, is enjoying a renaissance witnessed by the record-breaking success of creative projects, including the Oscar-winning Marvel Studios film, Black Panther; Regina King’s Emmy-winning HBO superhero tale, Watchmen; Janelle Monae’s hit album, Dirty Computer; Jordan Peele’s provocative feature Get Out; Octavia Butler’s famed science fiction novel, Kindred; and Beyonce’s visual album Black Is King. Now comes Afrofuturist Tim Fielder’s beautifully written and rendered INFINITUM. In INFINITUM, King Aja Ọba and Queen Lewa are revered across the African continent for their impressive political and military skills. Yet the future of their kingdom is in jeopardy, for the royal couple do not have an heir of their own. When the King kidnaps his son born to a concubine, Obinrin, she curses Ọba with the “gift” of immortality. After enjoying long, wonderful lives both, Queen Lewa and the crown prince die naturally, leaving the ageless bereaved King Ọba heartbroken and alone. Taking advantage of Ọba’s vulnerability, enemy nations rise to power and kill the king – or so they think. King Aja Ọba survives the fatal attack, finally realizing the bitter fruit of Obinrin’s curse. For millennia, the immortal Ọba wanders the earth, mourning his lost subjects and searching for a new kingdom. His journey leads him across time, allowing him to witness the trans-Atlantic slave trade, the New World, and the American Civil Rights Movement. The expansion of global technology brings about intergalactic travel, first contact with an alien species, and conflicts within and ultimately outside the known universe. Thrust into these seminal events, Ọba, now known by many as “John,” faces harrowing decisions that will determine mankind’s physical and spiritual trajectory. In 280 plus stunningly emotional and evocative full-color images, INFINITUM presents a unique cosmic experience, addressing issues of racism, classism, gender inequity, the encroachment of technology and the spiritual cost of war, while exposing the history behind ancient mysteries.
The complete story of the post-punk originators Killing Joke. From squats of London to chart topping singles and recording in the Great Pyramid of Giza. New insight into the band's ground breaking, genre-defining albums with exclusive interviews from past and present band members, the producers including Grammy Award winning, Hugh Padgham, journalists, record label executives, film makers and contemporaries such as Public Image Limited. Interviews from the graphic artists give insight to the visual aspect of the musical geniuses. With over 20 interviewees the book gives unique insight to the band that influenced everyone from Nirvana to Metallica.
Most professions have their own in-jokes but musicians, given to arrogance, pretension, bad housing, lack of sleep and far too much travelling, seem to have an *especially* large back-catalogue.Most music humour is self-deprecating, well perhaps not so much *self* deprecating as abusing other musicians who have committed the unforgivable folly of choosing a different instrument or genre.This book is a collection of well over 600 one liners, humorous lists and definitions spanning classical, rock, folk, jazz, country **and** western, mocking over 50 instruments and their players along the way. Not content with mocking musicians this book mocks drummers too.
'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .