Download Free The Morbidly Obese Ninja Book in PDF and EPUB Free Download. You can read online The Morbidly Obese Ninja and write the review.

Neo Tokyo, California is a city built so high that none of its residents have ever seen the ground. It is a place where citizens cosmetically alter their bodies to look like Japanese anime characters. It is a place where ninja battles determine the fate of corporate business ventures. It is the home of Basu-- a 700 pound killing machine who uses his grotesque excess weight as a deadly weapon.
DEADLY NINJA WISDOM FOR THE NON-NINJA Carefully consider the joy of your soft-headed ignorance before you begin to run, flip, and jump along the Ninja Path. After much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja. Most non-ninjas who handle these delicate, deadly pages will die–probably in an elaborately horrific and painful manner. But whether your journey lasts five seconds or five days or (rather inconceivably) five years, all those who bravely take up this text and follow the tenets and trials laid out within will die knowing they were as ninja as they possibly could’ve been. For the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as: •How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan •The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin •Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet •Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab •How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy •Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks •How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage •What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll need to make it explode •Death Aide certification •And much more ninjafied enlightenment on every shuriken-sharp page! Remember: People do not take the Path, the Path takes people.
Key Concepts in Contemporary Popular Fiction represents an invaluable starting point for students wishing to familiarise themselves with this exciting and rapidly evolving area of literary studies. It provides an accessible, concise and reliable overview of core critical terminology, key theoretical approaches, and the major genres and sub-genres within popular fiction. Because popular fiction is significantly shaped by commercial forces, the book also provides critical and historical contexts for terminology related to e-books, e-publishing, and self-publishing platforms. By using focusing in particular on post-2000 trends in popular fiction, the book provides a truly up-to-date snapshot of the subject area and its critical contexts.
When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.
A dazzling, darkly comic novel by the author of "The Sterile Cuckoo, The Voice of the Butterfly" looks at chaotic relationships fraught with conservation efforts. Funny and touching, Nichols's novel is a wild ride through the lunacies of the postmodern age.
"Five exhausted soldiers are sitting in the middle of a frozen Arctic wasteland, waiting for something to happen. They don't know why they are there or what they are supposed to be doing. Their superior officers have stopped giving them orders, their food supply is running low, and they are unsure whether or not their enemy actually exists at all. Once they lose their war slut (a transmorphing sex cyborg), the soldiers leave the safety of their camp in order to get it back. Only what they find out in the dark icy landscape is something far beyond what they ever could have imagined"--Page 4 of cover.
Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellick's love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just won't stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror clich and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatter punk's wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written. If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, early Peter Jackson, or Eurotrash horror, then you must read this book.
Finally free of her mother’s controlling ways, Natalia, a quirky misfit, heads to New York City after learning her family’s darkest secret—Daniel, a stepbrother previously unknown to her. With her desire to be loved and accepted by someone for the first time, Natalia pretends to be the person her half-brother expects. However, behind his back, Natalia is someone completely different. Natalia works for Stuart, a powerful and eccentric corporate executive, eliminating costly retired pension recipients one by one. Not completely without emotion or a moral compass, Natalia tries to find annoying habits or irritating personality traits to justify her doings. Getting better at what she does, with good reason and even better pay in hand, she makes each hit look like natural causes. But after spending more time with Stuart, his wife, and a new love interest, the innocent facade she presents to Daniel begins to crack and her true colors start to slip through. With Daniel’s suspicion growing, Natalia finds herself at a crossroads: either conform to Daniel's expectations or embrace her true identity.
CMJ New Music Report is the primary source for exclusive charts of non-commercial and college radio airplay and independent and trend-forward retail sales. CMJ's trade publication, compiles playlists for college and non-commercial stations; often a prelude to larger success.
95 million adults have a step relationship, according to a 2011 report. That’s 95 million unexpected experiences; 95 million unique perspectives; 95 million laughs, 95 million tears, and 95 million new families. Blended explores stepfamilies from the inside out through the perspectives of thirty writers who know what it’s like first hand. Sometimes funny, often poignant, and always deeply personal, the stories in Blended capture the essence of stepfamilies in all of their weird and wonderful varieties. The journeys range from the first encounters between new step-relatives, to marriages, honeymoons, daily experiences, and divorces. The diverse voices in Blended reflect the realities of today’s world, in which yesterday’s ideas of family structures and types just don’t cut it anymore. Parents, children, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins: all of these relationships change when families are melded into one, and the writers of Blended help explore the truth of what these new relationships look like, and, especially, feel like. Blended offers something for everyone: laughter, wisdom, empathy, and guidance, and, above all, the knowledge that you are not alone.