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Raising a child struggling with mental health issues, addiction, depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders or even just teen angst can be frightening and confusing. When all you've done is not enough, when your child seems lost and you feel inept and impotent, Dr Reedy can help you take the necessary steps to find your child, not with cursory cures or snappy solutions, but rather by effecting positive change in your own behaviour.
Your struggling teenager is going to a residential or wilderness treatment program. Their addictions, learning disabilities, or emotional/behavioral issues have brought you to a moment of decision. Heartsick, anxious, and exhausted, questions bounce endlessly around your mind, “Will this work? Was this really necessary? Will she ever forgive me? Can we handle him at home when the time comes?” Dr. Tim Thayne delivers the answers in his groundbreaking book Not by Chance. As an owner/therapist of wilderness and residential programs, Thayne was frustrated when young people made monumental progress, only to return home where things quickly unraveled. His mission became to vastly improve long-term success by crafting and proving a model to coach parents on their power to lead out through full engagement during treatment and management of the transition home. Not by Chance engages readers through solid research, simple exercises, and captivating stories taken from Thayne’s own life and the living rooms of hundreds of American homes. This book serves up concrete tools, hope, confidence, and stamina for families, professionals and mentors. Topics include: • Why good programs work • How to boost—not undermine—treatment • Nine dangers waiting after discharge • How to identify natural mentors for your teen • What to do when the testing begins • When and how to grant back privileges and freedoms • How to ease your young adult’s transition from treatment to independent living • When you know you’ve succeeded If you are even considering out-of-home treatment for your teen, do not gamble with the outcomes. Not by Chance should claim its rightful place on your nightstand.
For many parents of troubled teenagers, a therapeutic program that takes the child from the home for a period of time offers some respite from the daily tumult of acting out, lies, and tension that has left the family under siege. However, just as the teenager is embarking on a journey of self-discovery, skill-development, and emotional maturation, so parents too need to use this time to recognize that their own patterns may have contributed to their family's downward spiral. This is The Parallel Process. Using case studies garnered from her many years as an adolescent and family therapist, Krissy Pozatek shows parents of pre-teens, adolescents, and young adults how they can help their children by attuning to emotions, setting limits, not rushing to their rescue, and allowing them to take responsibility for their actions, while recognizing their own patterns of emotional withdrawal, workaholism, and of surrendering their lives and personalities to parenting. The Parallel Process is an essential primer for all parents, whether of troubled teens or not, who are seeking to help the family stay and grow together as they negotiate the potentially difficult teenage years.
Written by a mother whose son has fragile X syndrome and autism this book is about her reaction and coping strategies in relating to her son. She openly discusses working through her grief, anger and fears that her son's diagnosis brought and reinforces that it is possible to survive and find joy in parenting a special needs child.
A lawyer turned drug counselor examines the disruption many families endure when addiction impacts their lives. Based in part on her own family’s journey, Ellen Van Vechten explains the science of addiction, the theory of treatment, and the Twelve-Step model of recovery, providing sensible information and tips for reasoned action in support of a loved one while fostering personal growth and recovery. Powerlessness over another's addiction has a caustic effect on the family. Too often parents and partners equate "letting go" with "giving up." While acceptance of a lack of control is essential to coping with the disease within the family system, there is nothing passive about supporting a partner or child on their journey to recovery. This concept is the foundation of Van Vechten's original approach to empower individuals with knowledge, which when coupled with acceptance allows any family dealing with active addiction to make thoughtful and reasoned decisions to facilitate the recovery of both their loves ones and themselves.
Offers advice on how to handle various exits in life, from death and loss, to firings and breakups with empathy and humor. “Actually, Geri, it’s you. We have to let you go.” Hearing these words from my dear friend of more than 25 years over the phone on a sunny Friday afternoon left me shaking. It was a first for me – being at this end of a layoff. And it was a gut punch. Being on the receiving end of a layoff, Geri Reid Suster pondered her next steps and had an epiphany – life is full of exits. From school, from jobs, from relationships, and ultimately from life itself. And those transitions can be rocky or they can be handled with grace, honor, and humor. Still, most people struggle with such endings, getting mired down in thoughts of failure, grief, frustration, regret, and anger. Here, Suster shows readers how they can do better, be better, and live better through all of life’s goodbyes. Exits are going to happen whether we like it or not, so why not get good at them? How much time did you spend learning to walk, ride a bike, drive a car, and/or interview for a job? Why not spend a little time learning to approach exits with greater skill? An ugly exit not only leaves scars on everyone involved, but also adds to the psychological burden one carries long after the exit. On the other hand, a graceful exit is hard in the moment, but sets us up to feel lighter and healthier on the other side. Direct and full of advice and suggestions for next steps forward, Suster guides readers through the ups and downs of goodbyes, and carefully reveals the best methods for a smoother, more graceful transition.
What do we, as parents, really mean when we say we want the best for our children? Irena Smith tackles this question from a unique vantage point: as a former Stanford admissions officer, a private Palo Alto college counselor, and a mother of three children who struggle to find their place in the long shadow of Stanford University. Written as a series of responses to actual college essay prompts, this witty, raw memoir takes the reader from the smoke-filled lobby of the Hebrew Aid Society in Rome, where Irena and her parents await asylum with other Soviet refugees in 1977, to the overpriced house she and her husband buy in Palo Alto in 1999, to the hushed inner sanctum of the Stanford admissions office. Irena grows a successful college counseling practice but struggles to reconcile the lofty aspirations of tightly wound, competitive high school seniors (and their anxious parents) with her own attempts to keep her family from unraveling as, one by one, her children are diagnosed with autism, learning differences, depression, and anxiety. And although she doesn’t initially understand her children—or how to help them—she will not stop stumbling and learning until she figures it out. The Golden Ticket opens a much-needed conversation about extreme parenting, the weight of generational expectations, and what happens when Gen-X dreams meet unexpected realities. It's a sharp-eyed depiction of hard-won triumphs and of the messy, challenging parts of parenting you won't see on Facebook or Instagram. Above all, it's an invitation to embrace a broader, more generous definition of success.
The headlines ring with stories of opioid addiction and overdose. Parents complain about their children’s screen addiction, law enforcement decries the flood of fentanyl, scores of Americans overdose and die daily, and teen alcohol poisoning and marijuana-induced psychosis rates continue to rise. Disabling depression and anxiety are diagnosed at alarming rates in families across the country. Now, more than ever, families struggle to live with, care for, and protect their family members suffering with addiction or mental illness. Kenneth Perlmutter, a California psychologist with 30-plus years in the field, has written Freedom from Family Dysfunction specifically for family members who love someone battling addiction or mental illness who want to break the cycles of codependency and relapse plaguing their dysfunctional systems. The combination of compelling vignettes, lively dialogues, and step-by-step instructions makes this guidebook an indispensable tool for the parents, partners, adult children, and the clinicians who treat them, to heal the powerlessness, pain, and impossibility of life with someone they’ve been trying to help, sometimes for decades. Perlmutter takes a systemic and inter-generational view, combining current knowledge with his deep personal experience of addiction and family dysfunction to guide readers toward understanding their systems, their positions in them, and the forces that keep things stuck. “Stress-Induced Impaired Coping (SIIC)” is the term he’s coined to describe his ground-breaking model of family system pathology and recovery. He invites families to see themselves not as dysfunctional, but as wounded, as they work toward connection, closeness, and the restoration of systemic mental wellness and sustainability. Best of all, the method works regardless of whether the one identified as “the problem” makes changes or not. Family members who take up Perlmutter’s method will: · ​create closeness by pursuing connection over being right · reject “tough love" · learn to communicate authentically and to set boundaries confidently and fairly · rebuild trust, authenticity and equality in family relationships · reduce chaos, anxiety and distress in the mind and in the home · shift the entire family system itself toward wellness
The Parental Tool Box contains the largest array of practical strategies and skills assembled in one book for parents and clinicians. The latest research in attachment theory, neurobiology, and evidence-based therapeutic strategies and interventions are integrated into three major sections: The Power of Words, Relationships, & Change and Personal Development. The content of the chapters teaches ways to avoid power struggles by creating a family environment of mutual respect. The comprehensiveness of The Parental Tool Box makes it an ideal ongoing resource which helps parents effectively deal with any problematic behavior. Written in a strength-based and practical manner, each chapter includes Home Improvement Projects to practice the skills introduced. Each tool is examined through The Three Rs: Reframe, Replace, and Rewire. This breakthrough perspective reframes attitudes, replaces undesirable habits, and rewires the biochemistry/neurology to make lasting changes. The Parental Tool Box is written by two professionals who have each had over 40 years in the field and have practiced all of these tools in real time with both typical and highly challenging youth and families. It contains a vast library of verbal strategies, clear and concise social skills, and relational exercises presented in easy to master formats. Written in a descriptive and specific manner for all parents to understand; it is both a skills manual and a comprehensive parenting resource.
The fully updated fifth edition of the go-to guide for crafting winning essays for any type of graduate program or scholarship, including PhD, master's, MD, JD, Rhodes, and postdocs, with brand-new essays and the latest hot tips and secret techniques. Based on thousands of interviews with successful grad students and admissions officers, Graduate Admissions Essays deconstructs and demystifies the ever-challenging application process for getting into graduate and scholarship programs. The book presents: Sample essays in a comprehensive range of subjects, including some available from no other source: medical residencies, postdocs, elite fellowships, academic autobiographies, and more! The latest on AI, the GRE, and diversity and adversity essays. Detailed strategies that have proven successful for some of the most competitive graduate programs in the country (learn how to beat 1% admissions rates!). How to get strong letters of recommendation, how to get funding when they say they have no funding, and how to appeal for more financial aid. Brand-new sample supplemental application letters, letters to faculty mentors, and letters of continuing interest. Full of Dr. Donald Asher's expert advice, this is the perfect graduate application resource whether you're fresh out of college and eager to get directly into graduate school or decades into your career and looking for a change.