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When Fred formed his own parahuman clan out of necessity, he understood that it was going to come with new responsibilities. Much as he hoped those tasks would center around extra paperwork and perhaps the occasional mandatory class, enough time around the supernatural has taught him to be ready for anything. Or so he thought. As a freelance accountant for the Agency, Fred soon finds himself being tossed into new, unexpected, and perilous situations. From inventorying ghostly castles, to exploring unsettling amusement parks, to negotiating with dangerous mages, it seems there is no end to the uses for an accountant of Fred's specialty. But dangerous as the new jobs are, the greatest threat may come from the past. An old enemy is making waves once more, an enemy who would go to great lengths to destroy Fred and everyone he loves. And this time, they've brought backup. The fourth book in the hilarious series following Fred, the vampire accountant, and the misadventures he finds himself in.
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive." Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
Moments before he is executed, the killer of famed Vietnam War hero-pilot Hub Walker's daughter makes a startling allegation: the real murderer is Walker's close friend, a prominent U.S. defense contractor. Walker wants to hire somebody willing to spend a few days hunting up information that will refute the convicted killer's groundless but widely reported claims, and help restore his friend's good name. That somebody, as fate would have it, is sardonic civilian flight instructor, would-be Buddhist and retired military assassin Cordell Logan. Thus begins one of the year's most suspenseful mystery-thrillers. A Medal of Honor recipient married to a former Playmate of the Year, Walker resides in the swanky San Diego enclave of La Jolla, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Logan is convinced that working for Walker will be little more than a paid vacation - a chance to rub shoulders with a living legend while rekindling Logan's relationship with his own enticing ex-wife, Savannah. But after flying to San Diego in his beloved aging Cessna, the Ruptured Duck, Logan is quickly drawn into a vexing and deadly jigsaw puzzle. The deeper he digs, the murkier the truth appears, and the more in danger he finds himself. Who really killed the war hero's daughter, and why? Somebody in "America's Finest City," wants to stop Logan from asking questions, and will stop at nothing to silence him.
After several years as a vampire, starting a business, founding his own clan, and proposing to his girlfriend, Fred is finally beginning to settle into life as an undead accountant. Unfortunately, not everyone is happy about his continued survival, or the dangerous friends he's made along the way. The Blood Council has dispatched a representative to determine if Fred is fit for the position he currently fills as head of a clan, and the stakes for failure are deathly serious. Worse, Fred will have to muddle through without the help of Krystal, who is off on a mysterious task of her own. Saddled with a new bodyguard, Fred will have to prove he's got what it takes to be a respectable vampire, control his abilities, and lead a clan. Because if he can't, the House of Fred will be no more.
Soon to be a major film starring Nicole Kidman and Jason Bateman 'Funny, smart, ingenious, moving, altogether great' Nick Hornby World famous Caleb and Camille Fang have dedicated their lives to great performance art. But for their children, Annie and Buster, their 'art' is an embarrassment. As soon as the children grow up they flee home, desperate to escape the chaos of their parents' world. But when the lives they've built come crashing down, brother and sister have no choice but to go back. And whether the kids agree to participate or not, Caleb and Camille are planning one last performance that will finally determine what's more important: their family or their art.
With his wedding behind him, Fred is looking forward to nightly life finally settling down. Unfortunately, someone from his past has other, far less peaceful, plans in mind. Finding his clan under attack, Fred must scramble to discover who is working against him and how to fight back. Between securing shelter, trading favors, and keeping up with his accounting business, it won't be easy to stay out of trouble; let alone uncover the identity of his adversary. Faced with an enemy who has no interest in diplomacy, Fred and his friends will have to make hard choices if they want to survive. Choices that could forever change The House of Fred.
The sequel to the Amazon bestseller THE UTTERLY UNINTERESTING AND UNADVENTUROUS TALES OF FRED, THE VAMPIRE ACCOUNTANT. After discovering just how filled with magic, intrigue, and adventure the parahuman world of being an Undead American can be, Fredrick Frankford Fletcher did exactly what was expected--he became a certified parahuman accountant. Myths and legends, as it turns out, are not so great at taking appropriate deductions and keeping their receipts, and Fred is more than happy to return to a life others view as woefully dull, expanding his accounting business to cater to various monsters and their respective financial needs. Said monsters are, unfortunately, still spectacular at pulling Fred into trouble, though. And despite merely wanting to stick with simple paperwork, Fred once again finds he is going to have to deal with enchanted weaponry, government agents, possessed houses, and one enigmatic dragon's interest. In the parahuman world, any business can turn deadly, even one as mundane as accounting.
After surviving countless perils and dangers, including an examination by the Blood Council, Fred is preparing to take on his most important adventure to date: marrying Krystal. That is, if he can get everything handled in time. Visiting Boarback, hiring new staff, clearing out his schedule for a honeymoon; there's no shortage of tasks to check off before the big day arrives.But not everyone views the occasion in such a happy light. With new dangers looming, old debts raised, and grudges rekindled, it'll take everything Fred has to finally make it down the aisle.
The third book in Drew's outrageously adventurous and satirical series, including THE UTTERLY UNINTERESTING AND UNADVENTUROUS TALES OF FRED, THE VAMPIRE ACCOUNTANT (Book 1) and UNDEATH & TAXES (Book 2). With a thriving parahuman accounting practice, a steady relationship, and a circle of trusted friends, Fred's undead life has become more enjoyable than his normal one ever was. Unfortunately, it also seems that he's no longer the only vampire to appreciate the up-and-coming city of Winslow, Colorado. A new clan of vampires is moving in, and they aren't well known for tolerating outsiders in their territory. Now, Fred must cope with the growing presence-and threat-of other vampires even as he struggles to keep up with his business's demands and make time for his friends. Between hidden parahuman towns, crazed vampire hunters, quarreling mages, and the world's least subtle spy, it will take all of Fred's wiles just to keep his head above water. And as the new clan sinks their fangs deeper and deeper into his city, the undead accountant is faced with a choice between two equally unappealing options: flee his home, or stand against an entire clan of fellow vampires.
It doesn’t take long for Cody Elliot to realize that his new high school is a little different. The other students are supernaturally strong, don’t like the sunlight, and are always placing orders at the local blood bank. When his new friend shows him his fangs, Cody doesn’t need any more clues—these kids are vampires! As Cody struggles to fit into this secretive community, he disrupts centuries of human-vampire segregation, with some serious—and some seriously funny—consequences. In sharp, humorous, and insightful prose, Douglas Rees creates a world of vampires where the real issue for humans is not the fear of being bitten, but the need to get along.