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This compendium offers every excuse for every occasion, such as: It was the alien experiment. I haven't been the same since Elvis died. My inner child made me do it. All excuses are illustrated.
This one-of-a-kind book contains 120 excuses for not exercising and reasons why each is invalid. Packed with current, valuable information on exercise theory, Excuses will captivate the reader with humor, illustrations, and an eye-catching graphic design.
Rhyming text explains the need for please and thank you and other examples of good manners.
Are you eating and don't know why? Do you feel that food, not you, is in control of your life? If you are searching for a 'take it or leave it' attitude toward food and want to stop the strangle hold that food has on your life, then this book is for you. Every Excuse in the Book: All the Reasons You Can't Stop Eating Long Enough to Lose Weight is an interactive workbook designed to help you identify the true causes of your compulsive eating, which later result in weight and body image issues. By focusing on the triggers that cause you to eat, it gets to the root problem-things like depression, boredom, anxiety, and unattainable goals-helping you to acknowledge these factors and deal with them head on. Every Excuse in the Book is a quick and applicable read that gives you more than just ways to find out why you're stuffing your face. It provides honest insight and solutions to help you finally quit making excuses and stop eating long enough to lose weight.
Why Do All the Nice Girls End Up Getting Kidnapped and Held for Ransom? In this book, YOU, the reader, are a thirtysomething part-time actor/full-time waiter suddenly caught up in a kidnapping. Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn't misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours! You awake to the sound of the phone ringing. "Hello?" You hear a man's voice. It is muffled. "We've got Julia." "Wait, what do you mean?" "We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---" "Whoa, she's not my girlfriend," you say. "I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think." "We understand," the voice says. "But she's new to the city, and presently, you're all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we'll blow her head off." If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173. If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183. BE VERY CAREFUL! You're directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It's YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you've got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!
When a young girl tries to read surrounded by elephants, lions, monkeys and zebras, she is surprised, scared, and amused. When the animals want to read, the tables are turned. A fun-filled picture book that will earn giggles and laughs from children of all ages.
A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South-and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off. As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died-they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it-and the funeral is the final social event of your existence so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death. Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event-and left not a crumb for the funeral (Naturally some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad." Each chapter ends with an authentic southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully", including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.
Almost everyone is guilty of playing the blame game. It’s satisfying and easy to do. If we despise our work, we can blame our manager or even our short-sighted organization for its inability to recognize our genius. If our personal lives are a disaster, we can blame our spouses, partners, the economy, or even our ancestors. We all know on some level that we are pointing our fingers in the wrong direction, but we just can’t seem to help ourselves. The No Excuse Guide to Success shows you how to abandon this unworkable routine and stop the destructive pattern of making excuses and blaming others—to stop whining and start winning. The No Excuse Guide to Success gives you the tools and techniques you need to: Make life-altering changes in how you approach your career and your life Stop blaming others and start believing in yourself Own your choices and break down self-created barriers to success Embrace uncertainty and stop being afraid to win
This book teaches toddlers the ABCs of polite behavior in a gentle and funny way. Includes stickers. Full color. Consumable.
Military hero and beloved Dancing with the Stars alum Noah Galloway shares his life story, and how losing his arm and leg in combat forced him to relearn how to live--and live to the fullest. Inspirational, humorous, and thought provoking, Noah Galloway's LIVING WITH NO EXCUSES sheds light on his upbringing in rural Alabama, his military experience, and the battle he faced to overcome losing two limbs during Operation Iraqi Freedom. From reliving the early days of life to his acceptance of his "new normal" after losing his arm and leg in combat, Noah reveals his ambition to succeed against all odds. Noah's gripping story is a shining example that with laughter, and the right amount of perspective, you can tackle anything. Whether it be overcoming injury, conquering the Dancing with the Stars ballroom, or taking the next steps forward in life with his young family - Noah demonstrates how to live life to the fullest, with no excuses.