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Is establishing and enjoying loving relationships important to your life? It ought to be, as many of your most important needs in life are met only through relationships. The quality of those relationships will greatly depend on how well you and your partner can do two things: (1) properly manage your emotions during times of stress, deprivation, and trials, and (2) recognize and meet the emotional needs of your partner. These skills are not inborn, nor can they be casually acquired. But only those who possess them can expect to enjoy happy, loving, fulfilling relationships. In The Emotional Foundations of Loving Relationships, you will learn: The Ten Secrets of Emotionally Fulfilling Relationships The Five Great Destroyers of Relationships How to identify and meet your partner's top twenty emotional needs How your emotions can influence critical life decisions How to distinguish uplifting emotions from destructive emotions What it means to be emotionally responsible The consequences of emotional irresponsibility How to manage your emotions constructively Why there is opposition, stress, and trials in life Ten Potent Weapons for Battling the Forces of Emotional Darkness
A CHOICE Magazine Outstanding Academic Title of 2018. A novel approach to understanding personality, based on evidence that we share more than we realize with other mammals. This book presents the wealth of scientific evidence that our personality emerges from evolved primary emotions shared by all mammals. Yes, your dog feels love—and many other things too. These subcortically generated emotions bias our actions, alter our perceptions, guide our learning, provide the basis for our thoughts and memories, and become regulated over the course of our lives. Understanding personality development from the perspective of mammals is a groundbreaking approach, and one that sheds new light on the ways in which we as humans respond to life events, both good and bad. Jaak Panksepp, famous for discovering laughter in rats and for creating the field of affective neuroscience, died in April 2017. This book forms part of his lasting legacy and impact on a wide range of scientific and humanistic disciplines. It will be essential reading for anyone trying to understand how we act in the world, and the world’s impact on us.
Feminist icon bell hooks reminds us of the full spectrum of feeling we spend in love through her inspiring collection of love poetry, with a new introduction by Cole Arthur Riley, author of Black Liturgies. Written from the heart, When Angels Speak of Love is a book of fifty love poems by bell hooks, one our most beloved public intellectuals, and author of over twenty books, including the bestselling All About Love. Poem after poem, hooks challenges our views and experiences with love—tracing the links between seduction and surrender, the intensity of desire, and the anguish of death. “Love must clean house, choose memories to keep, and memories to let go,” she writes. These verses are expansive yet accessible—encompassing romantic love, to love of family, friends, or oneself. In any iteration, these poems remind us of both the beauty and possibility of love.
As seen on The TODAY Show! “A godsend to anyone searching for, but struggling to find, true love in their lives.” —Kristin Neff, PhD, author of Self-Compassion "Empowering and compassionate, and its lessons are universal." —Publishers Weekly Real love starts with you. In order to attract a life partner and build a healthy intimate relationship, you must first become a good partner to yourself. This book offers twenty invaluable lessons that will help you explore and commit to your own emotional and psychological well-being so you can be ready, resilient, and confident in love. Many of us enter into romantic relationships full of expectation and hope, only to be sorely disappointed by the realization that the partner we’ve selected is a flawed human being with their own neuroses, history, and desires. Most relationships end because one or both people haven’t done the internal work necessary to develop self-awareness and take responsibility for their own experiences. We’ve all heard “You can’t love anyone unless you love yourself,” but amid life’s distractions and the myth of perfect, romantic love, how exactly do you do that? In Loving Bravely, psychologist, professor and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon introduces the idea of relational self-awareness, encouraging you to explore your personal history to gain an understanding of your own relational patterns, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. By doing so, you’ll learn what relationships actually require, beyond the fairytale notions of romance. And by maintaining a steady but gentle focus on yourself, you’ll build the best possible foundation for making a loving connection. By understanding your past relationship experiences, cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness, and determining what it is you really want in a romantic partner—you’ll be ready to find the healthy, lasting love your heart desires.
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." -- 1 John 4:8 Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? Do you yearn to grow closer to God, and to further incorporate Him and His teachings into your marriage? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and faith. But sometimes we need a little help. Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to bestselling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In Created For Connection, Dr. Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer, a leading EFT practitioner in the Christian community, share Johnson's groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships not only between partners, but between us and God. The message of Created For Connection is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, or making grand romantic gestures. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent, and we are on the Heavenly Father, for nurturing, soothing, and protection. The way to enhance or save our relationships with each other and with God is to be open, attuned, responsive, and to reestablish safe emotional connection. Filled with Bible verses, inspiring real-life stories, and guidance, Created For Connection will ensure a lifetime of love.
The second edition of this essential and newly updated workbook is intended for use with couples who want to enhance their emotional connection or overcome their relationship distress. It closely follows the course of EFT treatment and allows clinicians to easily integrate guided reading, reflection, and discussion into the therapeutic process. Incorporating new developments in EFT and decades of research in the field of attachment, Veronica Kallos-Lilly and Jennifer Fitzgerald include chapters that explore concepts such as attachment bonds, the three cycles of relationship distress, how to make sense of emotions, relationship hurts and more. The workbook follows the familiar and accessible format of the first edition, Read, Reflect, and Discuss, and weaves fresh, illustrative examples throughout, with updated content considering the impact of gender, culture, and sexual orientation on relationship dynamics. Added reflections on these topics and an expanded section on sexuality dispels constraining popular myths and frees partners up to express themselves more openly. This book is essential reading for partners looking for helpful steps to improve the quality of their romantic relationships as well as marriage and family therapists, couple therapists and clinicians training in EFT to use with their clients.
“An antidote to emotional overwhelm—a powerful way to discover how useful your emotions can be in guiding you towards your best life.” —Marci Shimoff, #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Happy for No Reason Award-winning author, producer, and founder of Project Happiness, Randy Taran knows that every emotion, feeling, and mental state has the power to bring us back to our true essence. Emotional Advantage is your guide to getting there. We’ve learned a lot about the science of happiness and positive psychology, but what about the full range of human emotions, all of which factor into the human experience? What do we do when happiness eludes us—when life does not go as planned? It turns out that even negative emotions have something to offer, if we know how to learn from them. Have you ever woken up in a fog of feelings and felt directionless? Or maybe it was hard to pinpoint exactly what you were feeling, but it wasn’t where you wanted to be? What if we could actually use our feelings as a pathway to guide us back to our inner compass? What if, like alchemists, we had the tools to transform our emotions to take charge of creating our very best life? What if we could comprehend how even the most troublesome emotions are sending messages to alert, protect, and fuel us forward? Neuroscience reveals that to understand and utilize any emotion, we need to “name it to tame it.” Emotional Advantage shows us how a new perspective on fear can move us to courage, how guilt can clarify our values, and how anger can help us create healthy boundaries. “A guidebook to embracing the real version of yourself. If you’ve ever had to hide your feelings, or if you ever experience guilt or regret, you’ll feel like it’s written directly for you.” —Chris Guillebeau, author of The Happiness of Pursuit
This handbook includes state-of-the-art research on love in classical, modern and postmodern perspectives. It expands on previous literature and explores topics around love from new cultural, intercultural and transcultural approaches and across disciplines. It provides insights into various love concepts, like romantic love, agape, and eros in their cultural embeddedness, and their changes and developments in specific cultural contexts. It also includes discussions on postmodern aspects with regard to love and love relationships, such as digitalisation, globalisation and the fourth industrial revolution. The handbook covers a vast range of topics in relation to love: aging, health, special needs, sexual preferences, spiritual practice, subcultures, family and other relationships, and so on. The chapters look at love not only in terms of the universal concept and in private, intimate relationships, but apply a broad concept of love which can also, for example, be referred to in postmodern workplaces. This volume is of interest to a wide readership, including researchers, practitioners and students of the social sciences, humanities and behavioural sciences. In the 1970s through the 90s, I was told that globalization was homogenizing cultures into a worldwide monoculture. This volume, as risky and profound as the many adventures of love across our multiplying cultures are, proves otherwise. The authors’ revolutionary and courageous work will challenge our sensibilities and expand the boundaries of what we understand what love is. But that’s what love does: It communicates what is; offers what can be; and pleads for what must be. I know you’ll enjoy this wonderful book as much as I do! Jeffrey Ady, Associate Professor (retired), Public Administration Program, University of Hawaii at Manoa, Founding Fellow, International Academy for Intercultural Research The International Handbook of Love is far more than a traditional compendium. It is a breath-taking attempt to synthesize our anthropological and sociological knowledge on love. It illuminates topics as diverse as Chinese love, one-night stands, teen romance or love of leaders and many more. This is a definitive reference in the field of love studies. Eva Illouz, author of The End of Love: A sociology of Negative relationships. Oxford University Press. “This is not a volume to be read in a single sitting (though I almost did, due to a protracted hospital stay), nor is it romantic or inspirational reading (though, in some cases, I had hoped for more narrative examples and case studies. Rather it is a highly diverse scholarly effort, a massive resource collection of research papers on love in a variety of contexts, personal and professional settings, and cultures. The work is well referenced providing a large number of resources for deeper exploration. .... We owe our thanks to the authors and editors of this “handbook” for work well done, though that word in the title should not lead readers to suspect that, enlightening as it is, this book is a vade mecum or practical tour guide that provides ready solutions to the vicissitudes and challenges of our love lives!” Reviewed by Dr. George F. Simons on amazon.com ******* Please see Claude-Hélène Mayer’s interview related to the handbook in LeanHealth Talks published by Bernadette Bruckner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVNXA9sWuWo ******* Please see Claude-Hélène Mayer’s interview related to the handbook published In Iran News Daily: https://newspaper.irandaily.ir/?nid=6941&pid=6&type=0
Do you fall in love hard, but fear intimacy? Are you sick of being told that you are “too sensitive”? Do you struggle to respect a less-sensitive partner? Or have you given up on love, afraid of being too sensitive or shy to endure its wounds? Statistics show that 50 percent of what determines divorce is genetic temperament. And, if you are one of the 20 percent of people who are born highly sensitive, the risk of an unhappy relationship is especially high. Your finely tuned nervous system, which picks up on subtleties and reflects deeply, would be a romantic asset if both you and your partner understood you better. But without that understanding, your sensitivity is likely to be making your close relationships painful and complicated. Based on Elaine N. Aron’s groundbreaking research on temperament and intimacy, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love offers practical help for highly sensitive people seeking happier, healthier romantic relationships. From low-stress fighting to sensitive sexuality, the book offers a wealth of practical advice on making the most of all personality combinations. Complete with illuminating self-tests and the results of the first survey ever done on sex and temperament, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love will help you discover a better way of living and loving.