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"I am speechless. The Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever is the most disgusting, crude book I have ever read. I am ashamed to say my son wrote this. Where did I go wrong?" -Mother of Author Michael Ryan, too embarrassed to give her name "I succeeded! It is clear that my superb parenting skills paid off. The Author, Michael Ryan, tells the A to Zs of shit taking. He demonstrates his expertise on the always funny material of the infamous #2." -Proud Father of Author Michael Ryan, who's wife wouldn't let him give his first name The Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever was written for anyone who wants to laugh out loud about the topic of taking a crap. Author Michael Ryan displays his expertise on the often unspoken everyday experience of going to the bathroom. He dissects every imaginable issue from the toilet paper texture to the writings on the bathroom stall doors. A few of the many other topics covered are: types of doody, locations, bathroom spray, courtesy flush, the bidet, what to do while going to the bathroom, types of farts, clogging the bowl, activities, wiping (sitting vs. standing), diarrhea, hemorrhoids, girls, masturbation, constipation and public toilets in various countries.
Every kid's favorite subject: bathroom humor! Inside the Jokiest Joking Bathroom Joke Book Ever Written . . . No Joke! are over a thousand knee-slapping bathroom jokes for kids, along with hundreds of silly illustrations! How can you distinguish your dad’s poop from others? It’s really corny. Why did the turd never get anything done? Because he was pooped. What do you call a kid with a bad case of the runs? Down in the dumps. Hilarious and more!
People poop in their pants. It happens. No biggie, right? Wrong! Some bathroom accidents occur at the worst possible moments - on a first date, at the start of a new job, while stuck in traffic - and their stories ascend to the level of Toilet Tales. If you enjoy bathroom humor, this funny book collects 28 of the most humiliating true accounts that anyone was ever brave enough to confess. Toilet Tales makes a hilarious conversation-starter and a perfect bathroom read. But be warned: These short funny stories are gross!
"With universal appeal (everyone poops, after all), this witty, illustrated description of over two dozen dookies (each with a medical explanation written by a doctor) details what one can learn about health and well-being by studying what's in the bowl. A floater? It's probably due to a buildup of gas. Now think back on last night's dinner, a burrito perhaps? . . .All the greatest hits are here: The Log Jam, The Glass Shard, The Deja Poo, The Hanging Chad ... the list goes on. Sidebars, trivia, over 60 euphemisms for number 2, and unusual case histories all make this the ultimate bathroom reader. Who knew you could learn so much from your poo?"--Publisher website (October 2007)
Everybody poops, and every child has weird, wild, and hilarious adventures with poop. Join Timmy and his family in one of the funniest stories as they encounter ridiculous, disgusting, epic turds that just will not move! This is the perfect children's book to combat the crushing news we receive every day. We don't need a teaching book right now. What we need is the sound of laughter, and smiles all around. This is the bedtime story that will put a smile on your child's face every night!
Airplane Blonde. Intercorpse. Prostitot. Queef. Rainbow Kiss. There's a big world of obscenity out there--and you'll explore every profane nook and cranny in this compilation. We're talking about more than 2,000 insults, obscenities, and vulgarities raw enough to make even the most unflappable linguist blush. Forget grammar school swearing; this is advanced cursing for the most discerning dirty mouths! From the colorful--geequals, manscape, prairie dog--to the crude--giraffe, Roman shower, vagitarian, this big-ass book of bad language will have you dissing douchebags with doolally style in just a friggin' minute!
El Ninjo is going to demonstrate how he takes advantage of each single adventure that he is experiencing in various hilarious situations of life in Volume 1 and the situations go like this: * The Wake Upper Popper * The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot * The Flying Carpet * The Backpack Burster * The Gasification In The Car * The Neighbour Detonator * The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism * The Blue Hour In The Elevator (This is a brand new and never before released story. It is included for the first time in this new and enhanced color and audio version of the Fart Book) * The Delivery Boy Truck Detonater * The Stinky Tsunami * The Lego Blower * The Hand Stinker * The Marshmallow Shooter * The Steamy Sweat Blanket Pooper * The Gas Eruption in the Chicken Coop and many more... In Volume 3 he faces the most dangerous animals. He uses his bean blowing way in order to save his life! He gets attacked by the lion, the leopard, the crocodile, and many more dangerous animals in the jungle and in the end there is only one animal that he feels save to be around with. The list of the African Bean Fart Adventures in the Jungle goes like this: * Arrival At The Lodge With Poop & Pump * The Safari Mobil Breakdown * The Jungle Bang * The Bean Slam'n Smoke * The Artistic Liana Salto Blaster * The Tears Gas Boom * The Gorilla Sound Cloud and many more steamy Kenja bean blowing stories... The list of Dog Jerks - Vol. 3 goes like this: Why Dogs Can Be Real Jerks Sometimes Jerky Treats Better Than Celery Sticks The Perky Bullfrog Trick Egocentric Pesky Perks Pee Wee Herman Philosophy A Jerk's Agenda ... El Ninjo also shows some awesome gross out fart tricks that benefit him in every adventurous situation he finds himself in. Go ahead...purchase it right now and download the Audio version that is included inside each chapter of the farting dog book. Each bottom burping story also comes with a beautifully colored illustration so that the fun becomes triple fun...
When the multitalented biographer Edmund Morris (who writes with equal virtuosity about Theodore Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan, Beethoven, and Thomas Edison) was a schoolboy in colonial Kenya, one of his teachers told him, “You have the most precious gift of all—originality.” That quality is abundantly evident in this selection of essays. They cover forty years in the life of a maverick intellectual who can be, at whim, astonishingly provocative, self-mockingly funny, and richly anecdotal. (The title essay, a tribute to Reagan in cognitive decline, is poignant in the extreme.) Whether Morris is analyzing images of Barack Obama or the prose style of President Clinton, or exploring the riches of the New York Public Library Dance Collection, or interviewing the novelist Nadine Gordimer, or proposing a hilarious “Diet for the Musically Obese,” a continuous cross-fertilization is going on in his mind. It mixes the cultural pollens of Africa, Britain, and the United States, and propogates hybrid flowers—some fragrant, some strange, some a shock to conventional sensibilities. Repeatedly in This Living Hand, Morris celebrates the physicality of artistic labor, and laments the glass screen that today’s e-devices interpose between inspiration and execution. No presidential biographer has ever had so literary a “take” on his subjects: he discerns powers of poetic perception even in the obsessively scientific Edison. Nor do most writers on music have the verbal facility to articulate, as Morris does, what it is about certain sounds that soothe the savage breast. His essay on the pathology of Beethoven’s deafness breaks new ground in suggesting that tinnitus may explain some of the weird aural effects in that composer’s works. Masterly monographs on the art of biography, South Africa in the last days of apartheid, the romance of the piano, and the role of imagination in nonfiction are juxtaposed with enchanting, almost unclassifiable pieces such as “The Bumstitch: Lament for a Forgotten Fruit” (Morris suspects it may have grown in the Garden of Eden); “The Anticapitalist Conspiracy: A Warning” (an assault on The Chicago Manual of Style); “Nuages Gris: Colors in Music, Literature, and Art”; and the uproarious “Which Way Does Sir Dress?”, about ordering a suit from the most expensive tailor in London. Uniquely illustrated with images that the author describes as indispensable to his creative process, This Living Hand is packed with biographical insights into such famous personalities as Daniel Defoe, Henry Adams, Mark Twain, Evelyn Waugh, Truman Capote, Glenn Gould, Jasper Johns, W. G. Sebald, and Winnie the Pooh—not to mention a gallery of forgotten figures whom Morris lovingly restores to “life.” Among these are the pianist Ferruccio Busoni, the poet Edwin Arlington Robinson, the novelist James Gould Cozzens, and sixteen so-called “Undistinguished Americans,” contributors to an anthology of anonymous memoirs published in 1902. Reviewing that book for The New Yorker, Morris notes that even the most unlettered persons have, on occasion, “power to send forth surprise flashes, illuminating not only the dark around them but also more sophisticated shadows—for example, those cast by public figures who will not admit to private failings, or by philosophers too cerebral to state a plain truth.” The author of This Living Hand is not an ordinary person, but he too sends forth surprise flashes, never more dazzlingly than in his final essay, “The Ivo Pogorelich of Presidential Biography.”
Why do people tell dirty jokes? And what is it about a joke's dirtiness that makes it funny? G. Legman was perhaps the foremost scholar of the dirty joke, and as legions of humor writers and comedians know, his Rationale of the Dirty Joke remains the most exhaustive and authoritative study of the subject. More than two thousand jokes and folktales are presented, covering such topics as The Female Fool, The Fortunate Fart, Mutual Mismatching, and The Sex Machine. These folk texts are authentically transcribed in their innocent and sometimes violent entirety. Legman studies each for its historical and socioanalytic significance, revealing what these jokes mean to the people who tell them and to the people who listen and laugh. Here -- back in print -- is the definitive text for comedians and humor writers, Freudian scholars and late night television enthusiasts. Rationale of the Dirty Joke will amuse you, offend you, challenge you, and disgust you, all while demonstrating the intelligence and hilarity of the dirty joke.
Let me introduce myself. My name is El Ninjo and I am the master butt whistler because I simply can not resist exposing my family with my expressive face-melting fart clouds! I guarantee, you and your kids will LOL at this funny fart book with more than 20 blasting bean blowing illustrations and booming fart situations. Yes, I am the true master of bottom burping crashes, and I am going to impress you with my creative windy ways. I will not only show you every vapor blowing cloud trick that I have in my inventory, but I will also make sure to show you how to apply each individual gassy butt whistling fart rocket situation to your own benefit! The list of bottom belching and flatulent fart situations goes like this: The Wake Upper Popper The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot The Flying Carpet The Backpack Burster The Neighbor Detonator The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism The Lego Blower The Eruption In The Chicken Coop The Hand Stinker The Marshmallow Shooter The Stinky Tsunami The Sand Storm Exploder The Invisible Electric Fence Destroyer The Domino Bomber The Steamy Sweat Blanket Pooper... ...and many more steamy bean blowing fart episodes The list of Dog Jerks - Vol. 3 goes like this: Why Dogs Can Be Real Jerks Sometimes Jerky Treats Better Than Celery Sticks The Perky Bullfrog Trick Egocentric Pesky Perks Pee Wee Herman Philosophy A Jerk's Agenda If you love Fun Stories For Kids: Books For Boys - Dog Humor - Fart Book & Gross Out Book with Cartoons, Fart Trick, Fart Gag & Fart Fantasy Adventures, check out this pant ripping Fart Book series! Purchase my Fart Book right now for your kids and have some fun tonight at bedtime or whenever the situation calls for some hilarious and fun kid stories and pictures.