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In this groundbreaking companion to The Courage to Heal, Laura Davis offers an inspiring, in-depth workbook that speaks to all women and men healing from the effects of child sexual abuse. The combination of checklists, writing and art Projects, open-ended questions and activities expertly guides the survivor through the healing process. Survival Skills -- Teaches survivors to create a safe, supportive environment, ask for help, deal with crisis periods, and choose therapy. Aspects Of Healing -- Focuses on the healing process: gaining a capacity for hope, breaking silence, letting go of shame, turning anger into action, planning a confrontation, preparing for family contact, and affirming personal progress. Guidelines For Healing Sexually -- Redefines the concept of "safe sex" and establishes healthy ground rules for sexual contact.
Based on the experiences of hundreds of child abuse survivors, The Courage to Heal profiles victims who share the challenges and triumphs of their personal healing processes. Inspiring and comprehensive, it offers mental, emotional and physical support to all people who are in the process of rebuilding their lives. The Courage to Heal offers hope, encouragement and practical advice to every woman who was sexually abused as a child and answers some vital questions, including: -How do I know if I was sexually abused? -Where does the decision to heal start? -How can I break the silence and who will listen? -How can I re-build my self-esteem, intimacy and capacity to love? -What therapy, support groups, self-help programmes or organisations are available?
"But what about me?" "Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?" "Will we ever make love again?" "Will the survivor love me in the end?" "How do I know if I should throw in the towel?" Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners—girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers—trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers: The Basics—answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing—introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings—teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis—includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication—offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex—provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues—suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories—explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.
"With compassion and clarity, Richard Gartner shares insights from years of working with male survivors. Among this book's greatest strengths is the extensive use of examples from Dr. Gartner's clinical practice to illustrate problems and solutions on the path to healing. Beyond Betrayal offers support, encouragement, and useful skills to men in recovery." --Mike Lew, M.Ed., author of Victims No Longer and Leaping upon the Mountains "If you have been sexually abused, this book will give you information, hope, direction, and most importantly, the assurance that you are not alone. Dr. Gartner has written an accessible, compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you were abused by a mother, a camp counselor, a neighborhood boy, or a priest, Beyond Betrayal will give you the tools you need to reclaim your life and move on. If you're going to take one book with you on the healing journey, this should be the one." --Laura Davis, coauthor of The Courage to Heal and author of The Courage to Heal Workbook "Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, Beyond Betrayal shines a bright light. It is a must-read for anyone concerned." --Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., author of Silently Seduced "Beyond Betrayal cuts through the shame, confusion, misunderstanding, and fear that so often accompany the abuse of males and replaces them with clear information. I will begin to use it immediately with my patients and think that other clinicians will do so as well." --Christine A. Courtois, Ph.D., author of Healing the Incest Wound and Recollections of Sexual Abuse "Beyond Betrayal offers men straightforward words of hope and a meaningful way to overcome the invisibility, stigma, and shame they have endured. Many men and their families will find this book a healing aid." --Jack Drescher, M.D., author of Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man "Dr. Gartner writes in a manner any reader will find accessible. Not only does he understand the topic of males, sexual abuse, and recovery, but he can explain it to those who need to know." --Dr. Mic Hunter, author of Abused Boys and editor of Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse: Treatment Innovations
Informative, inspiring, and enlightening, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be provides parents with the building blocks they need to discover their own parenting philosophy and develop effective parenting strategies. Through in-depth information, practical suggestions, and many lively first-person stories, the authors address the many dilemmas and joys that the parent of young children encounter and demonstrate a range of solutions to the major issues that arise in the raising of babies, toddlers and preschoolers. Full of warmth, clarity, humor, and respect, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be gives parents permission to be human: to question, to learn, to make mistakes, to struggle and to grow, and, most of all, to have fun with their children.
This guide to starting the healing process after childhood sexual abuse “will offer hope and help to all survivors and those who care about them” (Bessel A. van der Kolk, MD, New York Times–bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score). Drawn from the authors’ bestseller The Courage to Heal, this revised edition of Beginning to Heal offers guidance for adults who are just starting the process of recovering from childhood abuse. No matter how great your pain today, you can not only heal but thrive. The book takes you through the key stages of the healing process, from crisis times to breaking the silence, grief, and anger to resolution and moving on. It includes inspirational highlights, clear explanations, practical suggestions, and compelling accounts of survivors—their pain, their strength, and their triumphs.
The traumatic affects of childhood sexual abuse can remain and recur throughout life for women who have not healed emotionally. This book by a family therapist shares stories from 18 women abused as children, explaining that healing can occur at any stage of life, and that healing, itself, occurs in stages. The author offers guidance to recognize the long-lingering potential affects of childhood sexual abuse including depression, anxiety, dissociation, and chronic shock, and she explains steps to take for recovery. Also presented are letters from women who have healed or are in recovery. Sexual abuse by men, juveniles, and female perpetrators is discussed, as is how children may act out the abusive behavior taught by perpetrators. The incidence of abuse by family members is also addressed. Duncan explains the dual dilemma—moral and legal—that women face in exposing a sexual perpetrator within the family when not protected by the legal system due to statutes of limitations. She also discusses controversial topics including false memory and disclosure of memory to the perpetrator.
R.E.P.A.I.R. is a Six-Stage Program for abuse survivors that will transform your life forever Recognize and accept your adult problems stemming from childhood sexual abuse. Enter into a commitment to transform your life. Process your issues with tools and techniques that will enable you to become healthy. Awareness to discover reality as you gather and assemble the pieces of the broken puzzle your life became. Insight into the complete picture helps you begin to return to what you were prior to being sexually violated. Rhythm recovers the natural rhythm you had before the incest happened, the blueprint that is the essence of your true nature, becoming who you really are. Therapists' Acclaim for REPAIR Your Life "REPAIR Your Life is one of several significant books by a woman who writes openly and perceptively, using her own experiences to take us down her path to an ultimately fulfilling life. This is an important book." --Vincent J. Felitti, MD, co-principal investigator of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study "Thank you Marjorie and God bless you for adapting this program for our survivors to follow. You have given survivors hope to continue on their healing journey." --Donna Gustafson, Executive Director, Sunrise Center Against Sexual Abuse "This program just has to work, because whether intuitively or through research, Marjorie McKinnon has assembled a highly effective program of recovery." --Bob Rich, PhD, psychologist Special editions also available for teenagers, children 6-12, and toddlers. www.TheLampLighters.org for more information or to find a support group in your area.
In her classic books The Courage to Heal and Allies in Healing, Laura Davis helped millions cope with the trauma of child sexual abuse. Her supportive guide Becoming the Parent You Want to Be taught parents to create a vision for their families. Now, in I Thought We'd Never Speak Again, she tackles another critical, emerging issue: reconciling relationships sundered by betrayal, anger, and misunderstanding. With her trademark clarity and compassion, Davis maps the reconciliation process through gripping firstperson stories of people who have reconciled under a wide variety of difficult circumstances. In these pages, parents reconcile with children, embittered siblings reconnect, estranged friends reunite, and war veterans and crime victims meet with their enemies. Davis weaves these powerful accounts with her own experiences reconciling with her mother after a long, painful estrangement. Making a crucial distinction between reconciliation and forgiveness, Davis explains how people can make peace in relationships without necessarily forgiving past hurts. Step by step, she clarifies the qualities needed for reconciliation-including maturity, discernment, determination, courage, communication, and compassion. To help readers gauge their own readiness, she includes a self-assessment entitled "Are You Ready for Reconciliation?" as well as a special section called "Ideas for Reflection and Discussion." On each page of this inspiring and instructive book, Laura Davis offers hope and help for reconciliation between individuals, and in the larger human family, sharing essential keys for resolving troubled relationships and finding peace.