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Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity -- but saving your sanity. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters -- their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the-cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Combining solid advice that champions self-respect, along with hilarious cartoons satirizing the pomposity of cheaters, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on Stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, Rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, Why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more. Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal, Schorn is the friend who guides you through this nightmare and gives you hope for a better life ahead.
Cheated on…Battered by emotion…You don't know where to turn. You feel betrayed, devastated, embarrassed, angry, and completely heartbroken. You ask yourself, "How can I stop infidelity from ruining my life?" "How do I cope with this nightmare? You don't realize there is a roadmap that explains what you are going through. That roadmap is Cheating in a Nutshell. Knowledge is Power and Understanding is Liberating. Whatever shade of infidelity you're dealing with, it is powerfully painful – and the feelings that come with it are hardly ever simple. Understanding your pain will change your way of thinking almost immediately. This book is for you if: --You just learned your partner cheated on you --You have been staying with a cheating partner --You were betrayed in a past relationship and seek a deeper understanding of your feelings In Cheating in a Nutshell, Wayne and Tamara Mitchell explain the source of your pain. There is a way out of this darkness, and the first step is to understand the structure of this awful experience. "The focus is on the betrayed, not the cheater, and if you've been cheated on, I agree with other reviewers: This is the best book, the only one you need." – Reader Review It's never too late to understand why you feel as you do. Read Cheating in a Nutshell.
Nationally known psychologist Ana Ledwin Nogales addresses the affects of parental infidelity on childhood development—and on these children's relationships as adults Many books explore the affects of marital infidelity on a marriage, but Parents Who Cheat is the first book to examine not only how this behavior contributes to the breakdown of a family structure but how it directly affects the children in that family. With compassion and piercing insight, Dr. Ana Ledwin Nogales explains how adultery damages a child's understanding of love, marriage, and trust. As these children grow toward adulthood, their ability to have healthy relationships is compromised. Through stories of children struggling to understand their parents' adultery, as well as case histories of adult children coping with unresolved issues related to parental infidelity, Dr. Nogales shows how destructive habits are formed and points the way toward healing and the creation of healthier relationships with parents and partners.
A Guide to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy It's devastating to discover that the person you trust the most has betrayed you. You'll be facing some hard questions after learning of your partner's infidelity. You may choose to rebuild your relationship, or you may decide to move on. Whatever the right decision is for you, this book will help you figure out why your partner betrayed you and decide whether you can remain in your relationship. It will also show you new ways to relate that can help you and your partner become a lasting, loving, and committed couple. You'll start by taking a look at the phenomenon of infidelity and the three types of intimacy: self-intimacy, conflict intimacy, and affection intimacy. Then you'll learn about the three kinds of infidelity—those of fear, of loneliness, and of anger—and what each reveals about your relationship. Then it's on to practical exercises that can heal emotional wounds and enable you to recover your ability to trust. Even if you decide not to remain with your current partner, the book will help you make wise relationship choices to "affair-proof" your future relationship.
One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
Cheated on? Abused? Abandoned? Divorced? Overwhelmed by religious rules and condemnation about how you are to handle these relationship traumas? This book is for you.Written by a Yale-educated, Board Certified Chaplain (BCC) who survived his first wife's adultery, a divorce, and an ecclesiastical trial to keep his ministerial credentials, Divorce Minister is here to help you navigate the trouble waters of infidelity discovery and keep your faith.Testimonials: "The Christian world is theologically bankrupt in its teachings on divorce, infidelity, abandonment, and abuse. 'Don't divorce, ever, for any reason, ' false teachers insist, and so they ensnare the abused and condemn survivors who had the courage to leave their abusers. Divorce Minister adeptly dismantles Christian false teachings on divorce with compassionate, biblical truth. A much-needed voice." - Bridget Jack Jeffries, Weighted Glory (www.weighted-glory.com/)"Having led divorce recovery groups in churches for many years I appreciate the unique insight and potential for healing DM brings to the victims of adultery. He deftly dissects 'The Shared Responsibility Lie' to provide a path towards healing for faithful spouses. DM's work has helped me personally and made me more effective as a divorce recovery leader. Highly recommended for pastors, lay leaders and men and women struggling with the conflicting messages they receive about adultery." -Loren Haas, lay leader at CrossWalk Community Church, Napa, CA"Divorce Minister has a unique voice in the infidelity discourse - he's the rare evangelical Christian who actually believes cheating is the sin, not divorce. If you're looking for a theological perspective to leave an abusive relationship, if you seek judgement of wrong-doing, and comfort from victim-blaming, Divorce Minister is your man. This is important work. God bless David Derksen for taking it on." -Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) blogger at chumplady.com and author of Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide
Have you been traumatized by infidelity? The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to: • work through conflicting emotions • Understand yourself and your partner • Make important life decisions Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling, and explores heart-wrenchingly familiar case studies of couples struggling with monogamy. By the end of this book, you will have completed the six stages of healing and emerged with a whole heart, a full spirit, and the freedom to love again.
In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health
Based on a study of over 400 women worldwide, Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal, is the first book to explore and offer healing strategies to women whose lives have been turned upside down by Wife Abandonment Syndrome. This Revised and Updated edition expands on the groundbreaking first edition that led to the development of an amazing global community of women working together to recover from Wife Abandonment Syndrome - when a husband leaves out-of-the-blue from what his wife believed to be a happy, secure marriage. Following his sudden departure, he typically replaces the caring he'd previously shown her with blame and anger, leaving his bewildered wife totally devastated. The Revised and Updated edition includes new chapters that discuss the husband's possible Covert Narcissism, the effect of this kind of divorce on the father/adult child relationship and the challenges of co-parenting with an ex following abandonment. Written by family therapist Vikki Stark, MSW, who herself had a runaway husband, the book helps women understand in full what could motivate a loving husband to morph overnight into an uncaring stranger and provides them with the tools they need to move forward and rebuild their lives.