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What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 9 pints What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis? Justin What's pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crossword Did you hear about the consignment of Viagra pills stolen from a warehouse? Police are on the lookout for hardened criminals An aeroplane is about to crash, when a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, 'If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.' She removes all her clothing and asks, 'Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?' A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 'Here, iron this!' The greatest ever collection of dirty jokes guaranteed to offend and outrage the prudish. Full of hilarious gags, it's totally politically incorrect, unashamedly x-rated and downright filthy. Definitely one to keep well out of the way of the mother-in-law...
Inside this sidesplitting collection, you'll find only the most popular kinds of jokes, riddles, and funnies from a dynamic professional comedian. This book is sure to tickle your funny bone-- and make you the life of the party!
Over 2 million sold! USA TODAY bestseller! Wall Street Journal bestseller! What happens to race car drivers when they eat too much? They get indy-gestion. Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids provides children ages 7-10 many hours of fun and laughter. Young readers will have a blast sharing this collection of hundreds of one-liners, knock knock jokes, tongue twisters, and more with their friends and family! This mega-bestselling book will have children rolling on the floor with laughter and is sure to be a great gift idea for any child.
800+ More silly jokes for kids 6 to 12 to keep them laughing! Calling all comedians! This is the super silly joke-book sequel you've been waiting for! Welcome to The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids 2—the second installment in this best-selling kid's humor series that's guaranteed to make you a local legend—or, at least, the cleverest coyote on your block! Inside, you'll find hundreds of clean and corny jokes for kids, including knee-slappin' knock-knocks, side-splitting puns, rib-tickling riddles, and a whole lot more! All reading levels are sure to love it on long car rides, family vacations, and around the house. There's also a joke-writing chapter in the back to create your own laughs! The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids 2 features: Jokes galore—Discover family-friendly jokes for kids in every format that are sure to tickle your funny bone! Hilarious images—LOL-funny illustrations make reading engaging for all ages. Fun facts, too!—In every chapter, you'll find Silly Stats to learn a little as you laugh. You're sure to become the toast of the town with The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids 2!
Now everyone's favorite joke books from Rob Elliott can be found in one economical volume! Combining his bestselling Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids, Zoolarious Animal Jokes for Kids, and Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids, Elliott will have kids of all ages laughing with the gut-bustingest, knee-slappingest, guffaw-inducingest, funniest collection of clean jokes you can find. Great on car rides, at the dinner table, on the playground, and anywhere in between, this collection of hilarity will make you and those around you smile every day.
A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.
From giving as good as he got at the Harvard Lampoon to his comedic work in such films and TV shows as Donovan’s Reef, North to Alaska, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, I Love Lucy, Dean Martin Celebrity Roast and The Red Skelton Hour, John Wayne was never shy about exhibiting his wry, knowing sense of humor. It’s this facet of Duke that The Official John Wayne Big Book of Dad Jokes captures. A father of six children himself, Duke was no stranger to making kids crack up (or at least trying to). This book presents those stories of Duke as practical joker as well as willing victim, embedded within more than 400 clever, yet dreadful jokes, stories, riddles and puns, perfect for family members of every age. Some of the jokes are Duke- and Western-themed, but most are simply good, original Dad jokes: some good, some bad, some awful, but all funny. Readers will also find inside nearly three dozen fun photos of Duke exhibiting his good humor for all to see, laughing with his kids or fellow actors on set and behind the scenes, making this book a treasure for fans and fathers alike.
This pocket-sized gift book is packed with hilarious jokes every guy needs in his repertoire. This little black book has everything aspiring cut-ups, comedians, and reformed class clowns need to win at comedy. Covering everything from roasts and toasts to historical footnotes to alternate versions of beloved old chestnuts, this indispensable reference is great for any occasion. Plus tips on telling jokes and much, much more: • Nine Jokes about Heaven and Hell • Eight Jokes Just for Kids • Nineteen Jokes Definitely Not for Kids • Six Jokes about Lightbulbs • Seven Jokes about Bars • The World’s Only Funny Knock-Knock Joke
Hundreds and Hundreds of Jokes that Will Drive Your Family Crazy Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dads tell. (Well, at least he thinks they're hilarious . . .) Have you ever noticed when you’re out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered “yes” to any of the following, you’re not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad’s persona. This comedic compendium compiles more than eight hundred of the best jokes dads can use to hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the least funny/most "punny" guy in the room.