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What happens when your partner, your primary person, in an instant, becomes a source of danger and pain? The Betrayal Bind introduces new language, concepts, and imagery to explore the crucial relational dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. Discovering a partner’s sexual betrayal spins your world out of control. In a split second, your sense of safety is shattered, your trust is gone, and everything you thought you could count on is in question. Betrayed partners, whether dealing with an isolated infidelity or a pattern of sexual compulsivity, need immediate support to navigate the new terrain of their relationship. They need a clear articulation of betrayal trauma, a thorough education about their normal attachment-based reactions, and a proven path to healing. By focusing on how a partner’s attachment system functions in the wake of sexual betrayal, The Betrayal Bind offers a new, game-changing exploration into an age-old problem and connects the dots from research to the lived experience of betrayed partners.
Some really great books just keep getting better! For seventeen years The Betrayal Bond has been the primary source for therapists and patients wrestling the effects of emotional pain and harm caused by exploitation from someone they trusted. Divorce, litigation, incest and child abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. These are situations and relationships of incredible intensity or importance lend themselves more easily to an exploitation of trust or power. In The Betrayal Bond, Dr. Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships; why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. Dr. Carnes also gives a clear explanation of the bond that compels people to tolerate the intolerable, and for the first time, maps out the brain connection that makes being with hurtful people comparable to 'a drug of choice.' Most importantly, Carnes provides practical steps to identify compulsive attachment patterns and ultimately to change or end them for good. This new edition includes: New science for understanding how our brains can make a prison of bad relationships New assessments and insights based on 50,000 research participants A new section utilizing the latest findings in attachment research and narrative therapy to concretely rewrite and rescript bad experiences A redefinition of the factors contributing to addictive relationships
Nothing can prepare you for the moment you discover that the person closest to you, the person you count on the most, has betrayed you. If you have experienced betrayal, you need help navigating the emotional devastation that follows. Help understanding what has happened, what to do, and how to move forward through the uncertain waters ahead. And, even more importantly, you need hope. The Aftermath of Betrayal, is intended to help you identify and articulate the experience you are having. To give you words, language, and concepts to describe the storm of betrayal and provide you with helpful tips and tools to move you toward healing. Even more importantly, this book exists to give you hope. Hope that there is a path through the trauma of betrayal, markers along the way to point you in the right direction, and plenty of help and support available for you. Hope that there is a way to not only survive the devastation of betrayal, but maybe even, dare we say it, thrive and flourish once again.
Sexual betrayal creates significant trauma. Using new research and current treatment approaches this book provides individuals experiencing betrayal support and ideas for their healing and recovery.
Nothing destroys trust like sexual betrayal. Beyond broken vows, a woman who discovers that the man she loves has been viewing pornography or having an affair must deal with devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she thought she knew has lied and deceived her. She may even bear the brunt of shame and judgment when the people around her find out. Drawing from her experience both as a marriage and family therapist and a woman who personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Sheri Keffer walks women impacted by betrayal through the pain and toward recovery. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. She offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers and helps women understand the realities of sexual addiction. And she shows women how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.
When you discover that your partner has cheated on you, shock waves reverberate through your heart. Everything dear about your significant other has been transformed from that which is familiar, comforting, and safe into a treacherous, untrustworthy stranger. If you've been cheated on, no matter how it is revealed or how it is done, where, when, or with whom, the painful fact is that cheating means you've been lied to, manipulated, and your trust has been betrayed. It is in these moments, after the betrayal is discovered, that the time for help is needed the most. When It All Breaks Bad, is born out of the collective insight, discernment, and experience of betrayed partners who have walked through the fire and come out the other side. Each of the chapters in this book outlines one thing you should do and some of the pitfalls you should avoid as you begin your first steps towards restoration and healing.
Ariana’s comfortable Old Order Amish world is about to unravel. Will holding tightly to the cords of family keep them together—or simply tear them apart? Twenty-year-old Ariana Brenneman loves her family and the Old Ways. She has two aspirations: open a café in historic Summer Grove to help support her family’s ever-expanding brood and to keep any other Amish from being lured into the Englisch life by Quill Schlabach. Five years ago Quill, along with her dear friend Frieda, ran off together, and Ariana still carries the wounds of that betrayal. When she unexpectedly encounters him, she soon realizes he has plans to help someone else she loves leave the Amish. * Despite how things look, Quill’s goal has always been to protect Ariana from anything that may hurt her, including the reasons he left. After returning to Summer Grove on another matter, he unearths secrets about Ariana and her family that she is unaware of. His love and loyalty to her beckons him to try to win her trust and help her find a way to buy the café—because when she learns the truth that connects her and a stranger named Skylar Nash, Quill knows it may upend her life forever. Ties That Bind is the first novel in the Amish of Summer Grove series.
One of the world's top experts on betrayal looks at why we often can't see it right in front of our faces If the cover-up is worse than the crime, blindness to betrayal can be worse than the betrayal itself. Whether the betrayer is an unfaithful spouse, an abusive authority figure, an unfair boss, or a corrupt institution, we often refuse to see the truth order to protect ourselves. This book explores the fascinating phenomenon of how and why we ignore or deny betrayal, and what we can gain by transforming "betrayal blindness" into insight. Explains the psychological phenomenon of "betrayal blindness", in which we implicitly choose unawareness in order to avoid the risk of seeing treachery or injustice Based on the authors' substantial original research and clinical experience carried out over the last decade as well as their own story of confronting betrayal Filled with fascinating case studies involving unfaithful spouses, abusive authority figures and corrupt institutions, to name a few In a remarkable collaboration of science and clinical perspectives, Jennifer Freyd, one of the world's top experts on betrayal and child abuse, teams up with Pamela Birrell, a psychotherapist and educator with 25 years of experience.
A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will gain clarity; reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction; feel more empowered and in control of their lives; discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable. Vicki Tidwell Palmer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) in private practice in Houston, Texas. She is the author of the blog for partners Survival Strategies for Partners of Sex Addicts.
A workbook for sex addicts in recovery, or for those looking into beginning recovery from sex addiction.