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If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Cyclist jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Cyclist Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Cyclist joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Cyclist jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Cyclists wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Cyclist and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Cyclist brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Cyclist who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Cyclists laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***
The quirky, true story of a self-absorbed misfit athlete who discovers the brutal yet liberating truth of middle age through great personal loss, the restricting challenge of Asthma, and a unique style of cycling called Rolling.
'I am blown away by the level of detail Phil Cavell brings to his work.' – Elinor Barker MBE, multiple world champion and Olympic gold medallist 'The Midlife Cyclist is a triumph' – Cycling Plus 'An amazing accomplishment... a simple-to-understand précis of your midlife as a cyclist – you won't want to put it down.' – Phil Liggett, TV cycling commentator 'Phil is eminently qualified to write The Midlife Cyclist. Well, he is certainly old enough.' – Fabian Cancellara, Tour de France rider and two-time Olympic champion Renowned cycling biomechanics pioneer, Phil Cavell, explores the growing trend of middle-aged and older cyclists seeking to achieve high-level performance. Using contributions from leading coaches, ex-professionals and pro-team doctors, he produces the ultimate manifesto for mature riders who want to stay healthy, avoid injury – and maximise their achievement levels. Time's arrow traditionally plots an incremental path into declining strength and speed for all of us. But we are different to every other generation of cyclists in human history. An ever-growing number of us are determined to scale the highest peaks of elite physical fitness into middle-age and beyond. Can the emerging medical and scientific research help us achieve the holy triumvirate of speed and health with age? The Midlife Cyclist offers a gold standard road-map for the mature cyclist who aims to train, perform and even race at the highest possible level.
The perfect book for every first-time bike rider I want a bike! I want a bike! This is all Bonnie says for one full week, until her parents surprise her with . . . a bike! Then: Oh boy! Oh boy! Before she knows it, Bonnie is off on a wobbly course around the backyard that becomes an adventure of epic proportions. She bikes over mountains, under giraffes, up the Statue of Liberty, through the Grand Canyon, and past the Giant Cheese. There's only one thing Bonnie can't do on her bike . . . STOP!!! But after a tumble and an important lesson from Mom and Dad, Bonnie is back in the saddle. This celebration of a timeless rite of passage will have kids clamoring to read it, read it again, and then strike out on their own bike-riding adventures.
In his book Pro Cycling on $10 a Day, Phil Gaimon brings the full powers of his wit to tell his story. Plump, grumpy, slumped on the couch, and going nowhere fast at age 16, Phil Gaimon began riding a bicycle with the grand ambition of shedding a few pounds before going off to college. He soon fell into racing and discovered he was a natural, riding his way into a pro contract after just one season despite utter ignorance of a century of cycling etiquette. Presented here as a guide--and a warning--to aspiring racers who dream of joining the professional racing circus, Phil’s adventures in road rash serve as a hilarious and cautionary tale of frustrating team directors and broken promises. Phil’s education in the ways of the peloton, his discouraging negotiations for a better contract, his endless miles crisscrossing America in pursuit of race wins, and his conviction that somewhere just around the corner lies the ticket to the big time fuel this tale of hope and ambition from one of cycling’s best story-tellers. Pro Cycling on $10 a Day chronicles the racer’s daily lot of blood-soaked bandages, sleazy motels, cheap food, and overflowing toilets. But it also celebrates the true beauty of the sport and the worth of the journey, proving in the end that even among the narrow ranks of world-class professional cycling, there will always be room for a hard-working outsider.
Addresses the trials of commuting by bicycle in a city, which include contending with careless drivers, pedestrians, and aggressive fellow cyclists.
The champion cyclist recounts his diagnosis with cancer, the grueling treatments during which he was given a less than twenty percent chance for survival, his surprising victory in the 1999 Tour de France, and the birth of his son.
The classic bicycle road racing book first published in 1978 chronicles a 150-kilometer European road race and its competitors in vivid, realistic detail. Reprint.
“Equal parts critical manifesto and tender mini-memoir about a boy and his bikes” from Eben Weiss, blogger and author of The Enlightened Cyclist (GQ). Cycling is exploding in a good way. Urbanites everywhere, from ironic hipsters to earth-conscious commuters, are taking to the bike like aquatic mammals to water. BikeSnobNYC—cycling’s most prolific, well-known, hilarious, and anonymous blogger—brings a fresh and humorous perspective to the most important vehicle to hit personal transportation since the horse. Bike Snob treats readers to a laugh-out-loud rant and rave about the world of bikes and their riders and offers a unique look at the ins and outs of cycling, from its history and hallmarks to its wide range of bizarre practitioners. Throughout, the author lampoons the missteps, pretensions, and absurdities of bike culture while maintaining a contagious enthusiasm for cycling itself. Bike Snob is an essential volume for anyone who knows, is, or wants to become a cyclist. “This is a social manual that should be bundled with every bike shipped in America.” —Christian Lander, author of Stuff White People Like “I like to think I know a thing or two (or three) about being ruthless and relentless—either trying to win the Tour or fighting cancer. The Snob knows it too. Keeping us dorks in line is tough work. I take pleasure in getting picked on by the Snob, slightly more pleasure in reading his writing, but take the most pleasure punishing his ass (my payback) on the bike either in Central Park or on 9W/River Road. Long live the Snob.” —Lance Armstrong
In My World, Peter Sagan, one of cycling's greatest riders of all time, gives bike racing fans a glimpse behind the scenes of his cycling life, revealing the full extent of his dedication to competition and determination to win. With four Tour de France points jersey victories, three road race world championships, the 2018 Paris-Roubaix, and multiple spring classics among Sagan’s palmares, the world of cycling agrees that this intense yet fun-loving rider is among the most dominant and fun-to-watch riders of his generation. Inside My World, Sagan discusses his relationship with fellow riders, his heroes, and how he copes with the expectation of success. He also shares technical details about his preparation, dissects the art of the sprint, and analyzes the tactics that play out during a fiercely competitive stage or race.