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Should I be upfront with someone I'm interested in that I'm ace or aro? How do I get people to respect my boundaries around intimacy? What if I don't want intimacy at all? It is selfish to pursue a relationship if I don't want romance? These questions are not only a source of deep anxiety and frustration for ace and aro people - but limit the heights that ace and aro folks believe they can reach for in their lives. These questions make us believe that we should settle for less, when in fact we all deserve more. Whether we're talking about friendships, romantic relationships, casual dates or casual intimate partners, this guide will help you not only live authentically in your ace and aro identity, but joyfully share it with others.
What does it mean to be ace or aro? How should I approach the challenges that come with being ace or aro? How can I best support the ace and aro people in my life? Join the The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) for a deep dive into the process of discovering and embracing your ace and aro identities. Empower yourself to explore the nuances of your identity, find and develop support networks, explore different kinds of partnership, come out to your communities and find real joy within. Combining a rigorous exploration of identity and sexuality models with hundreds of candid and poignant testimonials - this companion vouches for your personal truth, wherever you lie on the aspec spectrum. You are not invisible! You are among friends.
Lambda Literary Award 2014 Finalist in LGBT Nonfiction Foreword Reviews’ INDIEFAB Book of the Year Award 2014 Finalist in Family & Relationships Independent Publisher Book Awards 2015 (IPPY) Silver Medal in Sexuality/Relationships Next Generation Indie Book Awards 2015 Winner in LGBT -- What if you weren't sexually attracted to anyone? A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual. Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that “everyone” wants sex, that “everyone” understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that “everyone” wants to date and mate. But that’s where asexual people are left out—they don’t find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that’s okay. When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as “asexual.” Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed. In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people’s experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones.
For fans of Love, Simon and I Wish You All the Best, a funny, honest, messy, completely relatable story of a girl who realizes that love can be found in many ways that don't involve sex or romance. From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone . . . since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection. This is the funny, honest, messy, completely relatable story of Georgia, who doesn't understand why she can't crush and kiss and make out like her friends do. She's surrounded by the narrative that dating + sex = love. It's not until she gets to college that she discovers the A range of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum -- coming to understand herself as asexual/aromantic. Disrupting the narrative that she's been told since birth isn't easy -- there are many mistakes along the way to inviting people into a newly found articulation of an always-known part of your identity. But Georgia's determined to get her life right, with the help of (and despite the major drama of) her friends.
An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity. What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy. Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.
Adèle has only one goal: catch the purple-haired thief who broke into her home and stole her exocore, thus proving herself to her new police team. Little does she know, her thief is also the local baker. Claire owns the Croissant-toi, but while her days are filled with pastries and customers, her nights are dedicated to stealing exocores. These new red gems are heralded as the energy of the future, but she knows the truth: they are made of witches’ souls. When her twin—a powerful witch and prime exocore material—disappears, Claire redoubles in her efforts to investigate. She keeps running into Adèle, however, and whether or not she can save her sister might depend on their conflicted, unstable, but deepening relationship.
An LGBTQ YA "sci-fi romp" (Kirkus), The Last 8 is a thrilling high-stakes survival story about the last eight teenagers left on Earth after aliens attack, praised as "An extravaganza of nonstop action" (School Library Journal) Extinction was just the beginning... Clover Martinez has always been a survivor, which is the reason she isn't among the dead when aliens invade and destroy Earth as she knows it. Clover is convinced she's the only one left until she hears a voice on the radio urging her to go to the former Area 51. When she arrives, she's greeted by a band of misfits who call themselves The Last Teenagers on Earth. Only they aren't the ragtag group of heroes Clover was expecting. The seven strangers seem more interested in pretending the world didn't end than fighting back, and Clover starts to wonder if she was better off alone. But when she finds a hidden spaceship within the walls of the compound, she doesn't know what to believe...or who to trust. The Last 8 is perfect for readers looking for: heart-pounding young adult survival books tween and teen LGBTQ books sci-fi Latinx teen books expert world-building and relatable, funny, diverse characters Praise for The Last 8: "The Walking Dead meets Alien in this expertly plotted debut. Teens will want to follow Clover on her next adventure!" — Zoraida Cordova, author of the Brooklyn Brujas series "The Last 8 is diverse and immersive science fiction...With its powerful world building and emotional twists, The Last 8 is a beautifully fresh take on the idea of an alien apocalypse." — Foreword Reviews "A sci-fi romp with ample intergalactic twists to keep readers satisfied." — Kirkus Reviews "This debut is, at times, both joyful and heartbreaking ... Pohl's characters are tough, funny, and brave as they manage to persevere despite the debilitating weight of grief." — Booklist
Striking a perfect balance between heartfelt emotions and spot-on humor, this debut features a pop-culture enthusiast protagonist with an unforgettable voice sure to resonate with readers. Alice had her whole summer planned. Nonstop all-you-can-eat buffets while marathoning her favorite TV shows (best friends totally included) with the smallest dash of adulting—working at the library to pay her share of the rent. The only thing missing from her perfect plan? Her girlfriend (who ended things when Alice confessed she's asexual). Alice is done with dating—no thank you, do not pass go, stick a fork in her, done. But then Alice meets Takumi and she can’t stop thinking about him or the rom com-grade romance feels she did not ask for (uncertainty, butterflies, and swoons, oh my!). When her blissful summer takes an unexpected turn and Takumi becomes her knight with a shiny library-employee badge (close enough), Alice has to decide if she’s willing to risk their friendship for a love that might not be reciprocated—or understood. Claire Kann’s debut novel Let’s Talk About Love, chosen by readers like you for Macmillan's young adult imprint Swoon Reads, gracefully explores the struggle with emerging adulthood and the complicated line between friendship and what it might mean to be something more. Praise for Let’s Talk About Love from the Swoon Reads community: “A sweet and beautiful journey about self-discovery and identity!” —Macy Filia, reader on SwoonReads.com “There aren't many novels that have asexual characters and it's something people need more of.” —Alice, reader on SwoonReads.com “I want this on my shelf where I can admire it every day.” —Kiara, reader on SwoonReads.com
“The queer teen historical you didn’t know was missing from your life.” — Teen Vogue, on The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue In this funny and frothy novella that picks up where the New York Times bestselling The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue leaves off, freshly minted couple Monty and Percy fumble through their first time together. Monty’s epic grand tour may be over, but now that he and Percy are finally a couple, he realizes there is something more nerve-wracking than being chased across Europe: getting together with the person you love. Will the romantic allure of Santorini make his first time with Percy magical, or will all the anticipation and build-up completely spoil the mood?
The split attraction model? Alterous Love? Queerplatonic relationships? From the creator of Perfectly Queer: An Illustrated Introduction, this bold and brilliantly illustrated guide is written for anyone looking to explore the beautiful ace and aro communities; the acefluxes, the arospikes, the demis, the greys, the frays and more. Separate the myths and stereotypes, and discover some of the wonderful intricacies that shape each spectrum, including: forms of love and attraction, common identities, microlabels, flags, and the entertaining community-led culture. Packed with quizzes, activity sheets and a directory of further resources, this is a celebration of all things ace and aro!