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A fresh selection of sharp, witty zingers gathered from both famous and utterly unknown (but very quotable) sources, by the editor of the popular quote collection The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said. Robert Byrne’s quote books are widely praised as authoritative and accessible sources of sayings for any and all occasions. Byrne’s own wit, diligent research, and creativity combine to form a fresh go-to reference that serves readers better than Google—no Wi-Fi required. The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said is an all-new collection of clever quips and laugh-out-loud punch lines from Gracie Allen to Frank Zappa, on such topics as sex, divorce, religion, fashion, animals, and money: STEVE MARTIN: “I’d do anything for a good body except exercise and eat right.” JON STEWART: “War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” NORA EPHRON: “Successful parents have adult children who can pay for their own psychoanalysis.” This compilation, to be enjoyed by generations young and old, deserves a place of honor on every language lover’s bookshelf.
An irreverent selection of humorous quotes, one-liners, definitions, and quips features words of wisdom from contributors ranging from Goethe to David Letterman on such topics as families, philosophy, movies and television, and education.
"This collection contains some real gems!" UNITED PRESS INTERNATIONAL From Golda Meir to Erma Bombeck...from Aldous Huxley to Abbie Hoffman...from Oscar Wilde to W.C. Fields...from Queen Victoria to Mae West...from Aristotle to Idi Amin....here are the 637 best things anybody ever said--on God, Life, Death, Murder, Stupidity, Narcisism, Birth, Youth, Sex, Love, Marriage, Horses, Greeks, Romans, Politics, Literature, Drink, Presidents, and a great deal more.
You don't have to be a genius to sound like one. Here's a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less. Edited by entrepreneur John M. Shanahan, who created the wildly successful Hooked on Phonics program, this wonderful book presents the best that has been thought and said on every imaginable topic. Classified by such themes as "Truth, Lies, and Deception," "Men, Women, and Relationships," and "Passions, Virtues, and Vices," these quotes contain timeless messages for all humankind. Oscar Wilde: "A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position." Charles de Gaulle: "The cemetery is filled with indispensable men." Abraham Lincoln: "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." Sophocles: "Men of ill judgment oft ignore the good that lies within their hands, till they have lost it." Perfect for anyone who has ever been left speechless, this book will make you as glib as Oscar Wilde, as profound as Winston Churchill, and as wise as Aesop. Inspirational, entertaining, and thought-provoking, this is one collection that no library or bookshelf should be without.
For most of us, that perfect retort or witty reply often escapes us when we need it most, only to come to mind with perfect clarity when it's too late to be useful. The twentieth-century writer Heywood Broun described this all-too-common phenomenon when he wrote "Repartee is what we wish we'd said." In Viva la Repartee, Dr. Mardy Grothe, author of Oxymoronica, has lovingly assembled a collection of masterfully composed -- and perfectly timed -- replies that have turned the tables on opponents and adversaries. This delightful volume is a celebration of the most impressive retorts, ripostes, rejoinders, comebacks, quips, ad-libs, bon mots, off-the-cuff comments, wisecracks, and other clever remarks ever to come out of the mouths -- and from the pens -- of people throughout history. Touching on all areas of human endeavor, including politics, the arts, literature, sports, relationships, and even the risqué, the book features contributions from Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, Mae West, Groucho Marx, Winston Churchill, Dolly Parton, and scores more. As entertaining as it is intellectually enriching, Viva la Repartee is sure to capture the attention of language lovers and is the perfect antidote for anyone who's ever thought I wish I'd said that!
Is your mouth busy telling about all the troubles in your life? Does it seem as though your mouth has a mind of its own? Put your mouth on a crash course to victory. You can take hold of the words you speak and make them work for you! Me and My Big Mouth will show you how to train your mouth to speak words that will help you accomplish all God wants for you in this life. Bestselling author Joyce Meyer emphasizes that speaking the Word of God must be coupled with living a life of complete obedience to the Word of God in order to see the full power of God flowing in your life. By applying the biblical truths outlined in this book, you will learn: The effect of your words on your life How to speak God's language How to break the chains of the past How to cross over to victory Plus much more! Bring your mouth into agreement with God . . . and begin to walk in victory!
From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Otherworld series and Hemlock Island, the first chilling novel in the Cainsville series. Olivia Taylor-Jones is shattered to learn that she’s adopted. Her biological parents? Notorious serial killers. On a quest to learn more about her past, Olivia lands in the small town of Cainsville, Illinois. As she draws on long-hidden abilities, Olivia begins to realize that there are dark secrets in Cainsville—and powers lurking in the shadows.
The next novel in the Ice Planet Barbarians series, an international publishing phenomenon—now in a special print edition with a bonus new epilogue! Lila has never been more frightened in her life, but when Rokan appears, everything changes. When I wake up on the ice planet, I’m scared of everything: This place is cold, silent, and the locals look more like blue devils than aliens. To make matters worse, one of the strangers decides I’m going to be his girlfriend and kidnaps me away from my sister. I’m completely and utterly alone. What’s a girl to do? Well, this girl escapes. Of course, that means I go from the frying pan into the fire, and my situation gets even more dangerous. Just when I have no hope left, a new hero shows up. Sure, he’s blue, horned, and has a tail. He’s also fierce, protective, makes me purr...and thinks I'm perfect. But is what we have real or just a mating instinct?
A New York Times Bestseller “I’ll be forever changed by Dr. Eger’s story…The Choice is a reminder of what courage looks like in the worst of times and that we all have the ability to pay attention to what we’ve lost, or to pay attention to what we still have.”—Oprah “Dr. Eger’s life reveals our capacity to transcend even the greatest of horrors and to use that suffering for the benefit of others. She has found true freedom and forgiveness and shows us how we can as well.” —Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate “Dr. Edith Eva Eger is my kind of hero. She survived unspeakable horrors and brutality; but rather than let her painful past destroy her, she chose to transform it into a powerful gift—one she uses to help others heal.” —Jeannette Walls, New York Times bestselling author of The Glass Castle Winner of the National Jewish Book Award and Christopher Award At the age of sixteen, Edith Eger was sent to Auschwitz. Hours after her parents were killed, Nazi officer Dr. Josef Mengele, forced Edie to dance for his amusement and her survival. Edie was pulled from a pile of corpses when the American troops liberated the camps in 1945. Edie spent decades struggling with flashbacks and survivor’s guilt, determined to stay silent and hide from the past. Thirty-five years after the war ended, she returned to Auschwitz and was finally able to fully heal and forgive the one person she’d been unable to forgive—herself. Edie weaves her remarkable personal journey with the moving stories of those she has helped heal. She explores how we can be imprisoned in our own minds and shows us how to find the key to freedom. The Choice is a life-changing book that will provide hope and comfort to generations of readers.
An irreverent, but informative collection of 637 aphorisms and observations uttered by the witty, vicious, philsophical, political, historical, and artistic--and anyone else that said something terrific. There's something for everyone in this clever collection.