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Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 The first time I tried to answer the question What does it mean to become a mother. it involved pumping two or so ounces of breast milk that would become just one of the two bottles I needed to feed my infant at day care the following day. I sat in that closet and pumped and pumped, and when the milk didn’t come, I sat in that closet and pumped some more, until I was so frustrated that my back hurt and my breasts felt like they were going to explode. And still the milk wouldn’t come. I was desperate. I wanted to know what it means to become a mother, but I couldn’t get an answer. Still unable to produce enough milk for my baby, I went back to work. I needed more information, but more information was not coming. I was four months postpartum—the time of most intense lactation—and this still wasn’t enough milk. How long would this take. -> What does it mean to become a mother. For many women, the answer is scary because it means examining how they are different from nonmothers, and from a male perspective, how much less interesting they are. #2 This is not a parenting book. I have two kids, and I have written a book describing my experience as a new parent. I am not a parenting expert. #3 This book will not give you advice on how to raise your child or how to be a parent. It will instead explore the biological changes and lived experience that makes parenthood so profound. #4 The idea that we are the dedicated mother bird, guided by a maternal instinct that has been perfected through the ages, is bullshit. We are not naturally caring for our children. We are not born with the ability to do so.
Health and science journalist Chelsea Conaboy explodes the concept of “maternal instinct” and tells a new story about what it means to become a parent. Conaboy expected things to change with the birth of her child. What she didn’t expect was how different she would feel. But she would soon discover what was behind this: her changing brain. Though Conaboy was prepared for the endless dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, and the joy of holding her newborn, she did not anticipate this shift in self, as deep as it was disorienting. Mother Brain is a groundbreaking exploration of the parental brain that untangles insidious myths from complicated realities. New parents undergo major structural and functional brain changes, driven by hormones and the deluge of stimuli a baby provides. These neurobiological changes help all parents—birthing or otherwise—adapt in those intense first days and prepare for a long period of learning how to meet their child’s needs. Pregnancy produces such significant changes in brain anatomy that researchers can easily sort those who have had one from those who haven't. And all highly involved parents, no matter their path to parenthood, develop similar caregiving circuitry. Yet this emerging science, which provides key insights into the wide-ranging experience of parenthood, from its larger role in shaping human nature to the intensity of our individual emotions, is mostly absent from the public conversation about parenthood. The story that exists in the science today is far more meaningful than the idea that mothers spring into being by instinct. Weaving the latest neuroscience and social psychology together with new reporting, Conaboy reveals unexpected upsides, generations of scientific neglect, and a powerful new narrative of parenthood.
“An urgent look at emotional labor....Hackman’s words reveal the agency of women is still possible while the power of care, empathy, and love in action can lead us to the best in our humanity.” ― Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play From Journalist Rose Hackman, a deeply-researched foray into the invisible, uncompensated work women perform every day—and a profound call to action. A stranger insists you “smile more,” even as you navigate a high-stress environment or grating commute. A mother is expected to oversee every last detail of domestic life. A nurse works on the front line, worried about her own health, but has to put on a brave face for her patients. A young professional is denied promotion for being deemed abrasive instead of placating her boss. Nearly every day, we find ourselves forced to edit our emotions to accommodate and elevate the emotions of others. Too many of us are asked to perform this exhausting, draining work at no extra cost, especially if we’re women or people of color. Emotional labor is essential to our society and economy, but it’s so often invisible. In this groundbreaking, journalistic deep dive, Rose Hackman shares the stories of hundreds of women, tracing the history of this kind of work and exposing common manifestations of the phenomenon. But Hackman doesn’t simply diagnose a problem—she empowers us to combat this insidious force and forge pathways for radical evolution, justice, and change. Drawing on years of research and hundreds of interviews, you’ll learn: · How emotional labor pervades our workplaces, from the bustling food service industry to the halls of corporate America · How race, gender, and class unequally shape the load we carry · Strategies for leveling the imbalances that contaminate our relationships, social circles, and households · Empowering tools to stop anyone from gaslighting you into thinking the work you are doing is not real work Emotional labor is real, but it no longer has to be our burden alone. By recognizing its value and insisting on its shared responsibility, we can set ourselves free and forge a path to a world where empathy, love, and caregiving claim their rightful power.
'Promises a new route through the parenting wilds' Sunday Times 'Powerful, honest and reassuring' Professor Gina Rippon 'A vital new narrative . . . Meticulously researched, compelling and compassionate' Elinor Cleghorn 'A compelling book that upends popular notions about becoming a parent . . . reminds us why scientific research is a feminist issue' New Stateman 'I wish I'd had this book when I first became a mother' Emma Jane Unsworth New parents undergo major structural and functional brain changes, driven by hormones and the deluge of stimuli a baby provides. These neurobiological changes help all parents - birthing or otherwise - learn how to meet their child's needs. Yet this emerging science is mostly absent from the public conversation about parenthood. Untangling insidious myths from complicated realities, Chelsea Conaboy reveals that the story that exists in the science today is far more meaningful than the idea that mothers spring into being by instinct. Weaving the latest neuroscience and social psychology together with new reporting, she uncovers unexpected upsides, generations of scientific neglect and an empowering new narrative of parenthood.