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If you struggle with self‐defeating thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, you are not alone. We’ve all felt inadequate, believing that we’re broken or otherwise unworthy. But this doesn’t have to be a life sentence. Presenting four guiding principles and five core practices based in deep spiritual wisdom, Suffering Is Optional reveals how to liberate yourself from the prison of false self‐beliefs holding you back. Millions of people feel that they are not good enough. They may struggle every day, seeing themselves as deficient, pathetic, or damaged, and destined to fail. They convince themselves they aren’t worthy of love or respect, and view themselves with self-hatred. When you believe and cling to painful, self-defeating thoughts like “I can’t do it,” “It won’t work,” or “I’m a loser,” they become your personal reality—and the more you repeat them, the more you believe them, until they come to define you. Sadly, these limiting self-definitions lead to even more pain and suffering: hidden shame, problems in relationships, opportunities lost, and a life not fully lived. In Suffering Is Optional, clinical psychologist Gail Brenner offers practical ways to discover that you are not what your thoughts tell you you are. Rather than showing you how to become a better version of yourself, this book goes straight to the heart of the problem—that you’ve mistakenly identified yourself as broken and undeserving—to guide you out of these limiting thoughts and into an investigation of the nature of reality that ultimately liberates you from your suffering. With these exercises, experiments, reflections, practices, and inspiring stories, you’ll have a spiritual solution to your personal problem of limitation and self-sabotage. Using the four guiding principles and five core practices presented in this book—including turning toward direct experience, grounding in aware presence, losing interest in thoughts, welcoming feelings, and the sacred return to presence—you’ll be able to shed your false identity and wake up to the inherent peace and happiness that is available to you in any given moment.
" ... Keys to compassionate awareness ... pay attention to everything, believe nothing, and don't take anything personally ..."--Cover
From the best-selling author of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle and After Dark, a rich and revelatory memoir about writing and running, and the integral impact both have made on his life. In 1982, having sold his jazz bar to devote himself to writing, Haruki Murakami began running to keep fit. A year later, he’d completed a solo course from Athens to Marathon, and now, after dozens of such races, not to mention triathlons and a slew of critically acclaimed books, he reflects upon the influence the sport has had on his life and—even more important—on his writing. Equal parts training log, travelogue, and reminiscence, this revealing memoir covers his four-month preparation for the 2005 New York City Marathon and includes settings ranging from Tokyo’s Jingu Gaien gardens, where he once shared the course with an Olympian, to the Charles River in Boston among young women who outpace him. Through this marvellous lens of sport emerges a cornucopia of memories and insights: the eureka moment when he decided to become a writer, his greatest triumphs and disappointments, his passion for vintage LPs and the experience, after the age of fifty, of seeing his race times improve and then fall back. By turns funny and sobering, playful and philosophical, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running is both for fans of this masterful yet guardedly private writer and for the exploding population of athletes who find similar satisfaction in distance running.
The self-help genre is replete with books telling people how to be happier and more fulfilled. And books with a spiritual or mindfulness perspective suggest that being present is the solution. But no book provides the precise and constructive guidance needed to discover that happiness is truly possible in any moment. Until now. Using clear language and useful examples, "The End of Self-Help: Discovering Peace and Happiness Right at the Heart of Your Messy, Scary, Brilliant Life" describes how personal suffering is a case of mistaken identity. The book starts with common, entrenched psychological experiences such as unresolved problems from the past, worries about the future, feelings of inadequacy, compulsive behaviors, and confusing emotions. In skillful detail, it illuminates the shift of attention required for true happiness. Explorations in each chapter bring the material alive in the reader's own experience, essential to challenge decades of conditioning.The book walks alongside readers as they become experts in how their thoughts and feelings bring about suffering and realize the simple fact of peaceful, aware presence that is always here and available. It describes that this infinite, spacious presence is the truth of who we are, that we're not limited to our thoughts and feelings. The book illustrates how to live this insight in the moments of everyday life.
After two serious spinal injuries, Vidyamala Burch found herself facing the loneliness of disability and chronic pain with few skills or resources to turn to. But instead of giving up, she set out on a mission to embrace her physical challenges with compassion, acceptance, and peace. Living Well with Pain and Illness shares the fruits of her courageous life's work, teaching us how the practice of mindfulness can help us thrive in the face of health challenges of any kind. Drawing on the wisdom of a dozen years teaching meditation and a lifetime of study of the benefits of mindful living, Vidyamala encourages readers with insights and instruction in: The five-step model of mindfulness and how to use it to foster healing The Breathworks approach to meditation, and how to apply it to health concerns such as migraines, arthritis, and chronic fatigue Step-by-step techniques, illustrations, and case studies demonstrating how to effectively bring mindfulness into daily life Chronic pain has been called the modern world's silent epidemic. Billions are spent every year in an attempt to cope, yet the best solution available may be absolutely cost-free mindful living. In Living Well with Pain and Illness, Vidyamala Burch presents a work that is at once an inspirational memoir and practical guidebook for using mindfulness to reframe your relationship with physical and emotional suffering.
Hard times come for all in life, with no real explanation. When we walk through suffering, it has the potential to devastate and destroy, or to be the gateway to gratitude and joy. Elisabeth Elliot was no stranger to suffering. Her first husband, Jim, was murdered by the Waoroni people in Ecuador moments after he arrived in hopes of sharing the gospel. Her second husband was lost to cancer. Yet, it was in her deepest suffering that she learned the deepest lessons about God. Why doesn’t God do something about suffering? He has, He did, He is, and He will. Suffering and love are inexplicably linked, as God’s love for His people is evidenced in His sending Jesus to carry our sins, griefs, and sufferings on the cross, sacrificially taking what was not His on Himself so that we would not be required to carry it. He has walked the ultimate path of suffering, and He has won victory on our behalf. This truth led Elisabeth to say, “Whatever is in the cup that God is offering to me, whether it be pain and sorrow and suffering and grief along with the many more joys, I’m willing to take it because I trust Him.” Because suffering is never for nothing.
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • An "extraordinary ... profoundly moving" history (The New York Times Book Review) of the American Civil War that reveals the ways that death on such a scale changed not only individual lives but the life of the nation. An estiated 750,000 soldiers lost their lives in the American Civil War. An equivalent proportion of today's population would be seven and a half million. In This Republic of Suffering, Drew Gilpin Faust describes how the survivors managed on a practical level and how a deeply religious culture struggled to reconcile the unprecedented carnage with its belief in a benevolent God. Throughout, the voices of soldiers and their families, of statesmen, generals, preachers, poets, surgeons, nurses, northerners and southerners come together to give us a vivid understanding of the Civil War's most fundamental and widely shared reality. With a new introduction by the author, and a new foreword by Mike Mullen, 17th Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
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The secret to happiness is to acknowledge and transform suffering, not to run away from it. Here, Thich Nhat Hanh offers practices and inspiration transforming suffering and finding true joy. Thich Nhat Hanh acknowledges that because suffering can feel so bad, we try to run away from it or cover it up by consuming. We find something to eat or turn on the television. But unless we’re able to face our suffering, we can’t be present and available to life, and happiness will continue to elude us. Nhat Hanh shares how the practices of stopping, mindful breathing, and deep concentration can generate the energy of mindfulness within our daily lives. With that energy, we can embrace pain and calm it down, instantly bringing a measure of freedom and a clearer mind. No Mud, No Lotus introduces ways to be in touch with suffering without being overwhelmed by it. "When we know how to suffer," Nhat Hanh says, "we suffer much, much less." With his signature clarity and sense of joy, Thich Nhat Hanh helps us recognize the wonders inside us and around us that we tend to take for granted and teaches us the art of happiness.