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Fee, fi, fo, FUN! It’s story time again at Hickleberry Elementary with Stinky the stuffed skunk—and this time the class is reading the classic Jack and the Beanstalk! Everyone knows the story ends with the giant falling from the sky, but only Stinky knows what happened next! Jack went on to sell all those golden eggs and become a billionaire, while Hubert the giant wound up stranded on the ground, far from home. With no one to help him and nowhere to turn, Hubert has no choice but to put his giant skills to work where they're valued the most—on the basketball court! He joins the Droolville Dribblers, but will Hubert sink the buzzer beater and find his way home? This second stinky story is the first-ever chapter book series from beloved New York Times bestselling authors Chris and J. J. Grabenstein, filled with page after page of hilarious illustrations by acclaimed artist Alex Patrick. Stinky's Stories is the perfect series for young, reluctant, and emergent readers—or any kid who just loves to laugh.
Underwear has never been so much fun to wear! It’s story time at Hickleberry Elementary with Stinky the stuffed skunk! You’ve probably heard of the boy who cried wolf, but do you know what happened after no one believed him? Well, according to Stinky, the boy moves away to the Big City, where he gets a job crying wolf for The William D. Wolfe Company, Makers Of All Sorts Of Fine And Fancy Stuff. But when the boy gets bored again, he decides to use his talents to cry UNDERPANTS instead. When the queen hears his cries, she takes great offense—how dare he???—and suddenly, the Big City is sent into total chaos! Will the boy be able to save the day before it all gets too smelly? This first stinky story is the first-ever chapter book series from beloved New York Times bestselling authors Chris and J. J. Grabenstein. Filled with page after page of hilarious illustrations by acclaimed artist Alex Patrick. Stinky's Stories is the perfect series for young, reluctant, and emergent readers—or any kid who just loves to laugh.
Celebrating the best of fart fiction, Donald Rump weaves together ten flatulent tales of love, betrayal, flesh-eating cannibals, and everyone's favorite green gas, that are sure to blow you away. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Over 100 pages (approximately 32,000 words). BOTTLING FARTS Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the mild-mannered doctor to snap. GOING DUTCH Barnabus Prim has reached the end of his rope. Drowning in debt and married to an obnoxious wife who can't stand the sight of him, he decides to do the unthinkable. But finding a way to the afterlife proves more difficult than he imagined. MARRIAGE STINKS Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd heard everything until an odd man named Bilby Bloob shows up in the DMV lobby one morning. When Bilby demands a marriage license for his gassy wife, the old man puts his foot down. Sure, it's one thing to marry your high school sweetheart, but a fart? Who in the world marries farts? GASTROINTESTINAL BLUES Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? THE WOULD BE ASTRONAUT Hank Larmspitz has a plan. Well, sort of. He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship. THE $500 QUESTION Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. Hay caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas really going to stink? FINDING FLOOFY When a man falls head over heels for a murderous fart, he has difficulty coping with her mysterious departure. Was it something he said? Something he did? Was his penis too small? None of it makes any sense. "I will find you, my darling Floofy. Even if it's the last thing I do!" TILL DEATH DO US FART Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. “So you’re leaving me for a fart???” Helen exclaimed. WEEKEND GETAWAY When Martin Dollop and Arthur Bodine set off for a romantic vacation in the islands, they have no idea what they're in for. Now rotting away in a Mexican jail cell, it appears that they've reached the end of their rope. Even the pinche guard won't do them the honor of putting a bullet in their heads, and offers each a shot of poison to end their suffering. Will the two lovebirds cash in on their free weekend getaway and make things right between them? Or will the doomed couple kill each other in the process? BONUS! Also includes the bonus story I Am Fart.
"Text copyright 2008 by Harriet Ziefert, Inc"--P. facing T.p.
With nothing to do Ink, Wink, and Blink discover getting together makes a fun afternoon.
Pass the papaya, Maya. Pass the banana, Nana. Pass the book, because kids will want to read this aloud again and again! The deliciously rhyming, rhythmic text--with its snappy name game and entrée to a menu of intriguing foods--trips amusingly off the tongue.
"Text copyright 2008 by Harriet Ziefert, Inc."--P. facing T.p.
Presents an illustrated version of the song about a hole in the ground that holds the roots of a beautiful tree.
Lists forty-four humorous rules for children to live by, including how to clean one's room, play in the house, and talk to adults.