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This is a self-help book aimed at teaching people how to forgive and reconcile, founded on scientific research and clinical psychology, rather than on uncontrolled clinical practice, personal testimony, or theology. The author, a clinical psychologist and psychology professor, has spent years researching forgiveness and reconciliation, including how people respond physiologically to transgression, and how they calm down when they forgive. He has distilled his research on forgiveness into a five-step model called the Pyramid Model to REACH Forgiveness, the details of which make up the first part of the book; his four-step Bridge to Reconciliation makes up the second part. Steps to REACH Forgiveness and to Reconcile is framed very personally. It not only describes how forgiveness occurs in clinical practice and normal human relationships, it also describes the author's personal story in forgiving the murder of his mother. It deals with self-forgiveness as well. Steps to REACH Forgiveness and to Reconcile can serve as a supplemental reading in courses like Positive Psychology, Personal Adjustment, Stress and Stress Management, or even Psychology 101. It would also be appropriate for courses in Social Relationships, Marriage and Family, Peace Studies, and any discipline dealing with communication and human relationships. As the author's own story attests, people can learn to forgive and reconcile. Steps to REACH Forgiveness and to Reconcile presents an evidence-based intervention to help people do so more quickly and easily, if they are committed to trying.
God calls us to forgive those who have hurt us, but that's often easier said than done. Combining insights from his professional research and personal experience, Everett L. Worthington, Jr. shows what it takes (intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally) to move toward and beyond forgiveness and to cross the bridge to reconciliation.
To be unforgiving is harmful. The inability to come to terms with one’s anger or strife often can lead to stress disorders, mental health disorders, and relationship problems. Forgiveness is a personal decision. Forgiveness and Reconciliation focuses on individual experiences with forgiveness, aiming to create a theory of what forgiveness is and connect it to a clinical theory of how to promote forgiveness. Dr. Worthington creates an evidence-based approach that is applicable for individuals and relationships, and even for society. He also describes an evidence-based method of reconciliation - restoring trust in damaged relationships. Dr. Worthington hopes that this theory will inform scientific research and improve intervention strategies. Showing that forgiveness transforms personality, Worthington describes ways a clinician can promote (but not force) forgiveness of others and self. He provides research-based theory and applications and discusses the role of emotion and specific personality traits as related to forgiveness. Forgiveness and reconciliation might not be cures, but, as Worthington shows, they are tools for transforming both the self and the world.
The Templeton Foundation, whose board members include Desmond Tutu, Jimmy Carter, Robert Coles, and others, has already funded more than $5 million and supported 58 studies to show that it's possible to teach people to forgive faster, more thoroughly, and with longer-lasting results. The core of Everett Worthington's own research is his revolutionary five-step Reach program for forgiveness: R = Recall the hurt (define your feelings and expectations)E = Empathize with the one who hurt you (put yourself in the victimizer's shoes)A = Give the Altruistic gift of forgiveness (commit to a selfless act)C = Commit to forgive (make your act a public one)H = Hold onto forgiveness (learn how not to slide back into thoughts of revenge and retaliation)The author lays out the research results that demonstrate that people who forgive are healthier and happier. It offers a new definition of forgiveness: it's not an act of will, but rather a change in understanding.This revolutionary book provides readers with a new road out of the pain of victimization.
Everett L. Worthington Jr. offers a comprehensive manual for assisting couples over common rough spots and through serious problems in a manner that is compassionate, effective and brief.
The book organizes and synthesizes existing forgiveness research around a descriptive communication framework, demonstrating how existing psychological research can be enriched by through the application of communication theories, including dialectical and face-management perspectives. For example, exploring how forgiveness is a process of dyadic negotiation, not just an individual's decision.
Winner of the Christianity Today Book Award in Christianity and Culture How should we remember atrocities? Should we ever forgive abusers? Can we not hope for final reconciliation, even if it means redeemed victims and perpetrators spending eternity together? We live in an age that insists that past wrongs—genocides, terrorist attacks, bald personal injustices—should never be forgotten. But Miroslav Volf here proposes the radical idea that letting go of such memories—after a certain point and under certain conditions—may actually be a gift of grace we should embrace. Volf’s personal stories of persecution and interrogation frame his search for theological resources to make memories a wellspring of healing rather than a source of deepening pain and animosity. Controversial, thoughtful, and incisively reasoned, The End of Memory begins a conversation that we avoid to our great detriment. This second edition includes an appendix on the memories of perpetrators as well as victims, a response to critics, and a James K. A. Smith interview with Volf about the nature and function of memory in the Christian life.
The church and science have drifted apart over the past century. Today the church is often deemed irrelevant by those who trust science, and science is often deemed irrelevant by those whose primary loyalties are to the church. However, this book shows that the new science of virtue--the field of positive psychology--can serve as a bridge point between science and the church and can help renew meaningful conversation. In essence, positive psychology examines how ordinary people can become happier and more fulfilled. Mark McMinn clarifies how positive psychology can complement Christian faith and promote happiness and personal flourishing. In addition, he shows how the church can help strengthen positive psychology. McMinn brings the church's experience and wisdom on six virtues--humility, forgiveness, gratitude, grace, hope, and wisdom--into conversation with intriguing scientific findings from positive psychology. Each chapter includes a section addressing Christian counselors who seek to promote happiness and fulfillment in others.
In this manual on how to forgive, there are insights and exercises without a preachy message or assumption that people “should” forgive. With chapters that explain what forgiveness is and how to deal with obstacles to it, it also addresses reconciliation with others and one’s own self. Practical and accessible, the book does not require religious practice or philosophy; it simply shows how to forgive in order to enhance self-esteem, be happier, and break free from limitations that can hold a person back.
This new edition offers new case studies, new empirical evaluation, modern philosophical roots of forgiveness therapy, and new measurement techniques.