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Based on a landmark longitudinal study, the nation's leading expert on stepfamilies reveals his breakthrough findings and offers the first detailed guide to easing the conflicts of stepfamily life and healing the scars of divorce. There are more than twenty million stepfamilies in America. For most of them, the simple, daily issues that challenge every family are even more anxiety-provoking. After conducting a comprehensive nine-year-long study funded by the National Institutes of Health, Dr. James H. Bray has written an invaluable book that explains why over half of all stepfamilies fail and reveals the strategies that help the others succeed. A stepfamily is assaulted on all sides by difficult and often divisive questions. How much control should a stepparent have over a stepchild? How much authority should a nonresidential parent exert over a child? How should a difficult former spouse be handled? How does an "ours" baby change the emotional dynamic in a stepfamily? Why is there a lack of "honeymoon effect" during the first years of stepfamily life? The purpose of Stepfamilies is to answer all the important questions of stepfamily life--to fill in the knowledge gaps that undermine so many stepfamilies today and, crucially, to learn the effect of stepfamily life on children. Based on one of the largest and longest studies of stepfamily life ever conducted, Stepfamilies interweaves the stories of real families to illustrate such study findings as how: a stepfamily has its own natural life cycle a stepfamily takes several years to develop into a family unit a stepfamily is at greatest risk during the first two years a stepfamily ultimately coalesces into one of three forms a stepfamily must solve four basic tasks in order to succeed a stepfamily can help heal the scars of divorce Filled with emotional, gripping stories, Bray's findings pinpoint the three major transitions in stepfamily life and identify the riskiest issues that can throw a family into crisis. Bray is the first to identify the several distinct forms that stepfamilies take and to explore which types of stepfamilies are more vulnerable than others and why. He also describes the natural life cycle of stepfamilies and basic tasks all stepfamilies must undertake to succeed. With a wealth of insight into the positive effects of remarriage, Bray shows how a loving, well-functioning stepfamily can lessen the trauma of divorce and restore a child's and family's sense of security. Most stepparents remarry with the highest hopes and new resolutions for a better life. Never before have their unique needs been addressed in depth. Through insightful case studies and practical advice, Stepfamilies reveals how a strong, stable stepfamily is as capable as a nuclear family of nurturing healthy development, of imbuing values, of setting limits and boundaries, and of providing a structure in which rules for living a moral and productive life are transmitted, tested, rebelled against, and ultimately affirmed. Bray's positive message and fascinating findings--many of which defy intuition--will put stepfamilies on the road to lifelong harmony.
A compelling examination of the social and legal experiences of lesbian, bisexual, and queer stepparent families Lesbian, bisexual, and queer families formed after the dissolution of a marriage face a range of obstacles. In Queer Stepfamilies, Katie L. Acosta offers a wealth of insight into their complex experiences as they negotiate parenting among multiple parents and family-building in a world not designed to meet their needs. Drawing on in-depth interviews, Acosta follows the journeys of more than forty families as they navigate a legal and social landscape that fails to recognize their existence. Acosta contextualizes the legal realities of LGBTQ stepparent families and considers the actions these parents take to protect their families in the absence of comprehensive policies or laws geared to meet their needs. Queer Stepfamilies reveals the obstacles these families face in family courts during divorce proceedings and custody cases, and highlights their distrust of courts when it comes to acting in their children’s best interests, especially in the event of an origin parent’s death. As LGBTQ families continue to make social and legal strides in acceptance and recognition, this important book shows how queer stepparents find ways to make their unconventional families work, despite the many social and legal obstacles they encounter. Acosta provides a fresh perspective, broadening our understanding about families in the twenty-first century.
What determines whether stepfamilies remain together? What helps stepfamilies overcomes the difficulties of remarriage and become mutually supportive family units? How can mental health professionals better support this development? This book brings both clarity and depth to the unique and complex dynamics of remarried families. Patricia Papernow draws on interviews with over 100 stepfamily members, up-to-date research, a solid theoretical framework, and an empathic clinical sensibility to present an insightful model of stepfamily development, the Stepfamily Cycle. This details account of the sages of forming a lasting, cohesive group is richly illustrated by stepfamily members' own stories. Becoming a Stepfamily describes the developmental challenges involved in building nourishing, reliable relationships between stepparents and stepchildren, in the newly married couple, and between different family groups who must learn to live together in a remarried family. Papernow discusses the factors that influence the pace and ease of development, and she provides four full length case studies illustrating the varied paths through the stepfamily cycle to the successful remarried life. The author offers therapists, clergy, school personnel, and others involved with stepfamilies a range of effective interventions, including preventive, educational, and clinical approaches. She provides practical guidance for helping family members deal constructively with the differing attachments of children to their biological parents and stepparents, assisting stepparents as they cope with feeling excluded from the powerful biological parent-child bond, and guiding biological parents torn between their spouse's need for intimacy and privacy and their children's needs for support and attention.
Each member has their own unique place in a family. Ron Deal explores the myth of the "blended" family offering practical, realistic solutions for stepfamilies.
Combining theoretical, empirical, and clinical knowledge, Stepfamilies: A Multi-Dimensional Perspective contains recent research and information that will help mental health practitioners, family therapists, psychologists, and counselors understand the characteristics, dynamics, needs, and issues of nonclinical stepfamilies. Based on direct experiences with diverse types of stepfamilies, this book gives you new guidelines and strategies that will enable you to offer more successful sessions to your clients and improve your effectiveness as a practitioner. Developed to give you a more realistic understanding of stepfamilies, this text helps you avoid the stereotypes and false perceptions that often surround stepfamilies. Offering methods and strategies aimed at making your clients feel comfortable about themselves and their situations, Stepfamilies: A Multi-Dimensional Perspective examines several aspects of these families that you need to know in order to improve your effectiveness with them, including: the definition and description of stepfamilies and recognizing historical and social changes in the stepfamily structure critical reviews on the present knowledge of stepfamilies describing the complexity of family structure, the ambiguity of boundaries and roles, and the struggle with the diverse phases of the life cycle discussing key issues for stepfamilies, such as past orientation and acceptance/rejection of differences from non-stepfamilies and focal subsystems the profile, characteristics, and case studies of an innovative typology of stepfamilies that includes integrated families, invented families, and imported families aspects of ethnically and culturally different stepfamilies, including American stepfamilies, Israeli stepfamilies, and immigrant stepfamilies from the former Soviet Union social perceptions and attitudes of stepfamilies in schools, social services, community organizations, the media, and with the lawOffering case studies and data on a variety of families and situations, Stepfamilies: A Multi-Dimensional Perspective will show you that all stepfamilies are not the same and cannot be helped by just one practice method. Complete with principles and instruments to assess patients and the success of sessions, Stepfamilies: A Multi-Dimensional Perspective works to promote an understanding of stepfamilies that will result in effective and positive therapy for your clients.
'Brave New Stepfamilies' brings to light the kinds of stories largely absent from the stepfamily literature. This book acknowledges and highlights the social and demographic changes that are rapidly modifying the nature of stepfamily life. In addition, it provides a glimpse of the benefits as well.
Love may be sweeter the second time around, but once the bliss of a newfound relationship wears off a little, the reality of being part of a stepfamily sets in. If you are one of the millions of remarried Americans facing the challenge of blending two existing families into one cohesive whole, you are part of a stepcouple—and you know all too well how hard it can be to make your marriage work in sometimes tough terrain. Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters, and even seemingly simple issues such as the kinds of chores assigned to children can chisel away at your union if you don’t always make your marriage a priority. Stepcoupling offers advice for stepcouples on how to do just that—all the while strengthening their blended family with a healthy marriage. Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green provide tips and strategies on dealing with the issues remarried couples face, with a wealth of advice from real-life stepcouples, such as: * Learning to tailor your expectations of your spouse or children and remembering that no family is perfect * Knowing where your boundaries are, whether involving a hostile ex-spouse or a stepchild who demands too much attention * Realizing that traits like flexibility, tolerance, forgiveness, and openness are especially essential in a stepfamily situation * Making “us” time for talking, problem-solving, weekends away, and enjoying your marriage to constantly renew and strengthen your bond as a couple Let this invaluable remarriage manual help you make your stepcouple the foundation of a strong, happy, and successful stepfamily.
Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships is designed to be useful both to stepfamily members themselves and to a wide variety of practitioners, as well as to educators, judges, mediators, lawyers and medical personnel.
One of three Americans is now a stepparent, a stepchild, a stepsibling, or some other member of a stepfamily. Stepfamilies are different. The "old rules" that govern traditional families don't necessarily apply, and each stepfamily must define its own "new rules" that will work for a unique blended family. Einstein and Albert bring to this manual decades of experience as stepfamily counselors and consultants, acclaimed writers, and stepparents themselves. The result is clear, down-to-earth, expert help for couple relationships and parenting in what some call "the jigsaw puzzle family." Among the many challenges dealt with in this comprehensive guidebook: overcoming unrealistic expectations, debunking myths, decision making, building effective communication, establishing sound discipline, handling stepsibling rivalry, working with non-custodial parents... and more.
Stepfamilies: History, Research, and Policy examines language use, laws, cultural stereotypes, media images, and social policies and practices to create an understanding of how predominant views about stepfamilies and stepfamily members are constructed within society. As the rates of divorce and remarriage continue to increase, it is more important than ever to overcome nuclear family ideology and abandon the model of research that compares stepfamilies with nonstepfamilies. This book shows you how honor and empowerment can be attained in new family structures and how alternative kin networks can be just as healthy as the traditional nuclear family unit.As this book examines the ability of different societies to integrate different family forms into mainstream notions of “family,” you will realize the damaging effects of treating stepfamilies as incomplete, undesirable institutions. In fact, Stepfamilies: History, Research, and Policy will challenge your notions of family over and over again, as it discusses: key relationships in stepfamilies stepfather involvement in parenting after remarriage meaning of gender in a stepfamily differences in “investment” between biological and nonbiological parents demographic change and significant shifts in the social and cultural implications of stepfamilies attempting to reconstruct a household like that of a previous marriage the impact of stereotypes on the internal dynamics of stepfamilies and on the interactions of stepfamilies with outsiders the absence of guidelines and cultural norms for role performance and problem solving in stepfamiliesStepfamilies: History, Research, and Policy discusses both the difficulties of forming new families and households as well as the factors that promote family cohesiveness and integration in stepfamilies. From stereotypes of stepmothers to ambiguous legal relationships to child maltreatment in stepfamilies to sibling relations, there isn’t much that the penetrating lens of this book leaves uncovered.