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Learn how to become the most glorious a**hole the world has ever seen. Are you tired of everyone’s bullsh*t? Responding to their dumba** questions? Making boring small talk and offering robotic replies? Can’t take one more monotonous, people-pleasing conversation with a distant family member or a friend’s friend? If you have no f*cks left to give and want to dish out some serious snark, grab a copy Snarky as F*ck, the premiere guide to all things sarcastic and sardonic. Explore topics such as: Sex and Romance (Responses to D*ck Pics, Mansplaining, and More) Geography (Snarkiest States in the US! Snarky Food Around the World!) 21st Century Snark (TikTok challenges, Inspirational Bullsh*t, etc.) In the Workplace (Snarky Replies, What You Wish You Could Say in an Interview) Family, Friends, and other Influencers (Greeting Cards for Bastards, and Insults for Around the Dinner Table!) Movies, Television, and Music (“I’m clapping because it’s finished, not because I like it.”) Politics and Government (Presidential Insults and Your New Favorite Game: Match the Scandal!) In the News (Florida Man, Karen and Brad, Real Headlines, et al) Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from masters like Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, Bill Hicks, Phyllis Diller, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Charles Bukowski, to name a few. This lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution, but know you’ll come out the other side one snarky motherf*cker, ready to take on the world, one idiot at a time.
Learn how to become the most glorious a**shole the world has ever seen. Are you tired of everyone’s bullsh*t? Responding to their dumba** questions? Making boring small talk and offering robotic replies? Can’t take one more monotonous, people-pleasing conversation with a distant family member or a friend’s friend? If you have no f*cks left to give and want to dish out some serious snark, grab a copy Snarky as F*ck, the premiere guide to all things sarcastic and sardonic. Explore topics such as: Sex and Romance (Responses to D*ck Pics, Mansplaining, and More) Geography (Snarkiest States in the US!) 21st Century Snark (Curse Word Definitions, Inspirational Bullsh*t, etc.) In the Workplace (Snarky Replies, Sotto Voce Things to Say to Your Boss) Family, Friends, and other Influencers (Greeting Cards for Bastards, and Insults for Around the Dinner Table!) Movies, Television, and Music (“I’m clapping because it’s finished, not because I like it.”) Politics and Government (Presidential Insults and Your New Favorite Game: Match the Scandal!) In the News (Florida Man, Karen and Brad, Idiots on Wheels, et al) Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from masters like Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, Robert Benchley, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Feiffer, Bill Hicks, Bill Maher, Phyllis Diller, Édith Piaf, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Charles Bukowski, to name a few. This lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution, but know you’ll come out the other side one snarky motherf*cker, ready to take on the world, one idiot at a time.
2018 GIFT IDEAS - COLOURING BOOKS FOR GROWN-UPS - HUMOR I run on coffee, sarcasm, and lipstick. Snarky AF: Volume 1 Just because our current political discourse has inspired an entire line of Swear Word Adult Coloring Books, doesn
This Sarcastic as F*ck Sweary Journal for Sarcastically Gifted Women (6 x 9" Lined Notebook Journal) is the perfect gift for friends, girlfriends, sisters, wives, and other women who love sarcasm and swear words. Each page features a funny sarcastic quote and light lines for women to write their own notes, to do lists, and ideas. She will love the snarky quotes on every page! This sarcastic journal for women makes a great birthday gift, Christmas gift, gag gift, white elephant gift, hostess gift, or stocking stuffer.
The bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it’s more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes: “You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.” “You started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.” “His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity.” “Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.” “You fill a much-needed gap.” Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book’s verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you’re never again without the perfect quip or comeback.
Who’s ready for the holidays? Not us! Grab your needle & thread and get ready to stab away the stress of the holidays with this collection of festive f*cking patterns–and maybe even make a few gifts to boot! Let’s face it - the holidays can be stressful. When the peppermint latte won’t cut it, you might find yourself in need of something to stab. A LOT. Now, you can release your holiday anxiety with some truly irreverent and silly sentiments, and make a couple of presents in the process! Featuring 20 patterns from the crafting world’s most bad-ass cross-stitchers, this book has everything from a simple “Ho” ornament to a sampler featuring Clark Griswold’s famous “Hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the Tylenol?” There is no previous experience required here! In addition to simple instructions and clear, easy-to-follow patterns, you get a basic lesson in cross-stitch technique, so anyone can make these designs. Stitch your stress away with a little “Hello Drunk, I’m Christmas” for your tree, or make a “Deck the Halls and Not Your Family” for your sibling. And above all, have a Happy F*cking Holiday! TOP DESIGNERS: Patterns created by some of the f*cking best-selling cross-stitch designers and influencers on Etsy 20 FESTIVE PATTERNS: Festive As F*ck includes 20 hilariously sassy patterns to help ease the stress of the holiday season EASY-TO-FOLLOW-DESIGNS: With simple instructions and clear and easy-to-follow patterns, even a novice potty-mouth can enjoy this filthy holiday fun INSPIRING IMAGES: Full-color images of the finished projects help ensure success and offer ideas of how to frame and display your festive artwork THE PERFECT SNARKY GIFT: Make the best f*cking gifts of the season with hilarious and irreverent cross stitch designs that will make anyone laugh their ass off.
softcover 8.5 inches x 11 inches 100 college-ruled pages Perfect for office, home, school and everyday use Great for journaling, writing, taking notes, and more For friends, coworkers, family, neighbors, etc.
Set in the world of the New York Times–bestselling Winner’s Trilogy, Marie Rutkoski's The Midnight Lie is an epic LGBTQ romantic fantasy about learning to free ourselves from the lies others tell us—and the lies we tell ourselves. Where Nirrim lives, crime abounds, a harsh tribunal rules, and society’s pleasures are reserved for the High Kith. Life in the Ward is grim and punishing. People of her low status are forbidden from sampling sweets or wearing colors. You either follow the rules, or pay a tithe and suffer the consequences. Nirrim keeps her head down, and a dangerous secret close to her chest. But then she encounters Sid, a rakish traveler from far away, who whispers rumors that the High Kith possess magic. Sid tempts Nirrim to seek that magic for herself. But to do that, Nirrim must surrender her old life. She must place her trust in this sly stranger who asks, above all, not to be trusted.
THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the critically-acclaimed author of House of Salt and Sorrows comes a mesmerizing and chilling fairy-talesque novel about Ellerie Downing, a young woman in a small town with monsters lurking in the trees and dark desires hidden in the shadows—in Amity Falls, nothing is more dangerous than a wish come true. Ellerie Downing is waiting for something to happen. Life in isolated Amity Falls, surrounded by an impenetrable forest, has a predictable sameness. Her days are filled with tending to her family's beehives, chasing after her sisters, and dreaming of bigger things while her twin, Samuel, is free to roam as he wishes. Early town settlers fought off monstrous creatures in the woods, and whispers that the creatures still exist keep the Downings and their neighbors from venturing too far. When some townsfolk go missing on a trip to fetch supplies, a heavy unease settles over the Falls. Strange activities begin to plague the town, and as the seasons change, it's clear that something is terribly wrong. The creatures are real, and they're offering to fulfill the residents' deepest desires, however grand, for just a small favor. These seemingly trifling demands, however, hide sinister intentions. Soon Ellerie finds herself in a race against time to stop Amity Falls, her family, and the boy she loves from going up in flames. "Unique, enchanting, and haunting."—Brigid Kemmerer, New York Times bestselling author of the Cursebreaker series “Sweet, dark, and complex as wildflower honey.”—Hannah Whitten, New York Times bestselling author of For the Wolf “Small Favors is an eerie fairytale that I couldn’t put down.”—Alexis Henderson, author of The Year of the Witching