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Why did the soccer ball quit the team? It was tired of getting kicked around! How is a soccer player like a magician? They both like to do hat tricks! If you love soccer--and a good laugh--then this is the book for you! Hundreds of sidesplitting soccer jokes, riddles, and puns are sure to keep readers and their friends laughing from beginning to end.
"Why did the soccer ball quit the team? It was tired of getting kicked around! How is a soccer player like a magician? They both like to do hat tricks! If you love soccer-and a good laugh-then this is the book for you! Hundreds of sidesplitting soccer jokes, riddles, and puns are sure to keep readers and their friends laughing from beginning to end"--
Are you sitting comfortably? Then Jeff will begin ... The universally-loved, award-winning host of Sky Sports' Soccer Saturday and Channel 4's Countdown, and author of the bestselling Jelleyman's Thrown a Wobbly, returns with a Jackanory-style, football-flavoured narrative which gathers together the funniest, weirdest, most tragic, most heart-warming, under-the-radar stories of the football season. The book is stuffed to the gunnels with behind-the-scenes revelations, opinions and personal anecdotes from Jeff, and has a strong leaning towards the absurdities of both the highest levels and the grass-roots of the game. From the Macclesfield goalkeeper booked for using a golf tee to take his goal kicks, to the unintelligible ranting and raving of South American dictator chairmen. Let Jeff be your trusted guide through the madness of the football season, and let Jeffanory supply you with a veritable treasure trove of great anecdotes to take to the pub.
Timeless advice about how to use humor to win over any audience Can jokes win a hostile room, a hopeless argument, or even an election? You bet they can, according to Cicero, and he knew what he was talking about. One of Rome’s greatest politicians, speakers, and lawyers, Cicero was also reputedly one of antiquity’s funniest people. After he was elected commander-in-chief and head of state, his enemies even started calling him “the stand-up Consul.” How to Tell a Joke provides a lively new translation of Cicero’s essential writing on humor alongside that of the later Roman orator and educator Quintilian. The result is a timeless practical guide to how a well-timed joke can win over any audience. As powerful as jokes can be, they are also hugely risky. The line between a witty joke and an offensive one isn’t always clear. Cross it and you’ll look like a clown, or worse. Here, Cicero and Quintilian explore every aspect of telling jokes—while avoiding costly mistakes. Presenting the sections on humor in Cicero’s On the Ideal Orator and Quintilian’s The Education of the Orator, complete with an enlightening introduction and the original Latin on facing pages, How to Tell a Joke examines the risks and rewards of humor and analyzes basic types that readers can use to write their own jokes. Filled with insight, wit, and examples, including more than a few lawyer jokes, How to Tell a Joke will appeal to anyone interested in humor or the art of public speaking.
Ever wondered why it is called a 'try' in rugby? How referees got their name? Why the King of the Mountains' jersey in the Tour de France is red and white? Why you can't have a square football pitch? What ambidextrous really means? This book contains thousands of facts and jokes that anyone interested in sport would love to know.
A pun-derful collection of jokes and wordplay for kids This hilarious collection of puns will delight kids of all ages. Featuring all-new jokes and accompanied by clever illustrations, The Jokiest Joking Puns Book Ever Written will keep kids amused for hours! Inside are gems like: What does a house wear? A dress. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator. The birthday party was a disaster. Even the cake was in tiers. What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear.
A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.
When Friedman moved to New York City, he missed the dogs that had surrounded him growing up. He began photographing dogs on the street, and posting them on his blog, The Dogist. Whether because of the look in a dog's eyes, its innate beauty, or even the clothes its owner has dressed it in, every portrait in this book tells a story and explores the dog's distinct character and spirit.
From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together