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Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life helps to explain the emotion of shame and its impact on our self-image and relationships. As we identify shame and use recovery skills to work through it, the authors offer us a way that we can personalize a plan of action to help build our self-esteem, and they suggest exercises to help us identify our feelings of shame.
This classic book, written 17 years ago but still selling more than 13,000 copies every year, has been completely updated and expanded by the author. "I used to drink," writes John Bradshaw,"to solve the problems caused by drinking. The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed." Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures.
Excessive shame can be associated with poor psychological adjustment, interpersonal difficulties, and overall poor life functioning. Consequently, shame is prevalent among individuals undergoing psychotherapy. Yet, there is limited guidance for clinicians trying to help their clients deal with shame-related concerns. This book explores the manifestations of shame and presents several approaches for treatment. It brings together the insights of master clinicians from different theoretical and practice orientations, such as psychodynamics, object relations, emotion-focused therapy, functional analysis, group therapy, family therapy, and couples therapy. The chapters address all aspects of shame, including how it develops, how it relates to psychological difficulties, how to recognize it, and how to help clients resolve it. Strategies for dealing with therapist shame are also provided, since therapist shame can be triggered during sessions and can complicate the therapeutic alliance. With rich, detailed case studies in almost every chapter, this book will be a practical resource for clinicians working with a broad range of populations and clinical problems.
"It is my feeling that debilitating shame and guilt are at the root of all dysfunctions in families,” says Jane Middelton-Moz. A few common characteristics of adults shamed in childhood: You may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment and feelings of being inferior to others. You don’t believe you make mistakes, you believe you are a mistake. You feel controlled from the outside and from within. You feel that normal spontaneous expression is blocked. You may suffer from debilitating guilt; you apologize constantly. You have little sense of emotional boundaries; you feel constantly violated by others; you frequently build false boundaries. If you see yourself in any of these characteristics, you can learn how shame keeps you from being the person you were born to be and how to change that. Shame And Guilt describes how debilitating shame is created and fostered in childhood and how it manifests itself in adulthood and in intimate relationships. Through the use of myths and fairytales to portray different shaming environments, Dr. Middelton-Moz allows you to reach the shamed child within you and to add clarity to what could be difficult concepts. Read Shame and Guilt — you’re worth it.
Chronic shame is painful, corrosive, and elusive. It resists self-help and undermines even intensive psychoanalysis. Patricia A. DeYoung’s cutting-edge book gives chronic shame the serious attention it deserves, integrating new brain science with an inclusive tradition of relational psychotherapy. She looks behind the myriad symptoms of shame to its relational essence. As DeYoung describes how chronic shame is wired into the brain and developed in personality, she clarifies complex concepts and makes them available for everyday therapy practice. Grounded in clinical experience and alive with case examples, Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame is highly readable and immediately helpful. Patricia A. DeYoung’s clear, engaging writing helps readers recognize the presence of shame in the therapy room, think through its origins and effects in their clients’ lives, and decide how best to work with those clients. Therapists will find that Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame enhances the scope of their practice and efficacy with this client group, which comprises a large part of most therapy practices. Challenging, enlightening, and nourishing, this book belongs in the library of every shame-aware therapist.
An intimate look at the full spectrum of shame—often masked by addiction, promiscuity, perfectionism, self-loathing, or narcissism—that offers a new, positive route forward Encounters with embarrassment, guilt, self-consciousness, remorse, etc. are an unavoidable part of everyday life, and they sometimes have lessons to teach us—about our goals and values, about the person we expect ourselves to be. In contrast to the prevailing cultural view of shame as a uniformly toxic influence, Shame is a book that approaches the subject of shame as an entire family of emotions which share a “painful awareness of self.” Challenging widely-accepted views within the self-esteem movement, author Joseph Burgo argues that self-esteem does NOT thrive in the soil of non-stop praise and encouragement, but rather depends upon setting and meeting goals, living up to the expectations we hold for ourselves, and finally sharing our joy in achievement with the people who matter most to us. Along the way, listening to and learning from our encounters with shame will go further than affirmations and positive self-talk in helping us to build authentic self-esteem. Richly illustrated with clinical stories from Burgo's 35 years in private practice, Shame also describes the myriad ways that unacknowledged shame often hides behind a broad spectrum of mental disorders including social anxiety, narcissism, addiction, and masochism.
"Dr. Fishkin identifies several clinical approaches for shame-based behavior and discusses why most do not effectively treat shame-based wounds"--
Counselling Skills for Working with Shame helps professionals to understand and identify shame and to build shame resilience in both the client and themselves. Shame is ubiquitous in counselling where there is an increased vulnerability and risk of exposure to shame. While many clients experience feelings of shame, it is often overlooked in the therapeutic process and as a result can be left untreated. It is particularly pertinent when working with clients who have experienced trauma, domestic or complex abuse, or who struggle with addiction, compulsion and sexual behaviours. Written in an accessible style, this is a hands-on, skills-based guide which helps practitioners to identify what elicits, evokes or triggers shame. It gives a general introduction to the nature of shame in both client and counsellor and how these become entwined in the therapeutic relationship. It focuses on increasing awareness of shame and how to release it in order to build shame resilience. With points for reflection, helpful exercises, top tips, reminders and suggestions for how to work with clients, this is a highly practical guide for counsellors, therapists, mental health practitioners, nurses, social workers, educators, human resources, trainee counsellors and students.
LIVING IN THE SHADOW OF THE TOO-GOOD MOTHER ARCHETYPE is a journey into the heart and soul of mothering. It takes you to places thathave remained hidden due to out-dated beliefs about what it means to be a good mother. The book reveals the truth about being a good enough mother and dispels the myths of being a perfect parent. Based on 32 years of working in pediatric, mental health and public education settings; a doctoral dissertation; and experience of raising four children, Dr. Patti Ashley has written a book that transforms how women feel about themselves as mothers. "The problem that has no name." In 1963 Betty Friedan's book THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE revealed that many mothers were feelingempty, incomplete and invisible, whichFriedan labeled "the problem that has no name." Even though times have changed quite a bit since 1963, a2008 study by Maria Shriver, and the Center for American Progress, revealed that many women still express similar feelings of isolation and emptiness. (The Shriver Report) LIVING IN THE SHADOW OF THE TOO-GOOD MOTHER ARCHETYPE is a book that helps women connect more deeply to themselves and others, therefore feeling more authentic, mindful and whole. It weaves real stories and common themes into archetypal mythology and the rapidly changing roles of women, creating the foundation of a new parenting paradigm."