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Drawing on an extensive survey of real people and over 40 years of research, this revealing volume proposes that a nonmonogamous lifestyle may be healthier for marriages than a monogamous one. Based on an exhaustive survey into the lives of real people, Swinging in America: Love, Sex, and Marriage in the 21st Century concludes that nonmonogamous relationships such as swinging and polyamory offer a new blueprint for combining sex and love—one that may prove more in line with the way people actually live their lives in our society. Swinging in America begins with what we know about swingers and the swinging lifestyle, based on personal narratives and over 40 years of sociological research comparing swinging and non-swinging couples on factors such as personal happiness, marital satisfaction, psychological stability, and personal values. The second half of the book explores the historical rise and contemporary decline of monocentrism—the sexually monogamous marriage as the organizing principle underlying our culture—and the implications of this decline for new nonmonogamous relationships and marriages.
Love, sex, and marriage are changing faster than ever before in human history. The current tidal wave of social changes will continue into the next century, and we will have to adapt our sexual values and relationships to these accelerating changes. These 22 honest, authentic stories tell of the unconventional paths pioneering church leaders and spiritually-aware women and men have taken in their quest to link their sexuality with their spiritual needs. Some might see in these unorthodox explorations only tales of promiscuous couplings. But these are not stories of wild thrill-seekers. These are tales told from the core of their being about their deeply felt need for genuine, responsible love and intimacy within a spiritual context. Their journeys do not promise paradise or instant happiness, as popular magazines do with recipes for lifelong marital bliss and fiery passion. These sojourners have much to teach us, even when we decide that this or that path is not for us. Their individual paths are not nearly as important as the simple message of God and Eros being inseparable that underlies journey. God and Eros can come together in many different relationships. And they must come together if we want to nourish and fulfill the divine spark at the core of our being. These women and men challenge our assumptions and our willingness to adapt to our radically changing world.
A ground-breaking look at the sexual revolution that is beginning to sweep through urban India. The National Bestseller India in Love: Marriage and Sexuality in the 21st Century is a ground-breaking look at the sexual revolution that is starting to sweep through urban India. Bestselling author Ira Trivedi travelled from Shilling in the northeast to Chennai in the south, Konark in the east to Mumbai in the west and over a dozen other cities and towns in order to gain unprecedented insights into changing sexual habits, marriage and love everywhere in the country. The book explores the mating habits of young Indians on college campuses and in offices, examines the new face of Indian pornography and prostitution, probes India's gay revolution and delves into history, economics and sociology to try and understand how the nation that gave the world the Kamasutra could have become a closed, repressed society with a shockingly high incidence of rape and violence against women the dark underside to the greater sexual freedom that men and women in our cities have begun to enjoy today. Trivedi goes deep into one of the most enduring institutions of Indian society marriage and investigates how it is faring in modern times. She interviews marriage brokers, astrologers, lawyers, relationship counsellors, 'love commandos', parents and nervous young brides and grooms, amongst others, to present a nuanced picture of the state of marriage in the country. She discovers that love marriages are skyrocketing and even the age-old arranged marriage is undergoing a transformation. Also on the rise are divorces, extra-marital affairs, open marriages, live-in-relationships and the like. Supporting her eye-opening reportage with hundreds of interviews, detailed research, authoritative published surveys and discussions with experts on various aspects of sexuality and marriage, Trivedi has written a book that is often startling, sometimes controversial, but is always entertaining and original.
Most couples — because they watch so many of their peers divorce and are themselves the products of failed marriages — don't have many successful long-term-relationship role models. Parenting and communication issues are perennial, while some challenges, like increasingly 24-7 work lives and economic hardships, mark the current decade. Despite all this, psychotherapist and clinical social worker Marcia Naomi Berger asserts that most couples can make love last — they just need to learn how. Berger answers this need with a deceptively simple prescription: have an interruption-free thirty-minute (or even shorter) meeting each week and follow an agenda that includes the kind of appreciation and planning for fun that foster intimacy and pave the way for collaborative conflict resolution. Berger has refined these techniques while working with hundreds of couples — with results that are both practical and profound.
“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.
Does the Bible really condemn same-sex relationships? Many Christians wrestle with this question. Here, in his compassionate, cogent book, David Runcorn outlines how someone can support same-sex relationships on the basis of the Bible, not in spite of it. The Church, in every time and place, finds itself working out the shock and surprise of God’s unfolding ways – often scandalized by where holiness, goodness and the life of God are to be found. Runcorn’s insightful and moving reflections show how speaking in gospel friendship will help to dispel the anxiety and division that have tended to mark the Church’s response to homosexuality. Covering sexual abstinence and celibacy, sexuality and the sacred, he leads us to one powerful conclusion: love means love. ‘Brim-full of gentle and clear wisdom. Highly recommended!’ PAUL BAYES, Bishop of Liverpool ‘Joyful, truthful, scandalously inclusive . . . This book will literally save lives. It opens the door of grace and beckons you in.’ NICK BUNDOCK, Rector of St James and Emmanuel, Didsbury ‘Liberates us to read our beloved Bible with faithfulness, both to the text and to the fruit of Christ we often see in LGBT+ lives. For a good number of us, it will be met with a cry of “at last!”’. JODY STOWELL, Vicar of St Michael’s Harrow and Chair of London Clergy
'So compellingly personal you feel you're looking over her shoulder as she sits down to write' New York Times 'Electrically entertaining ... Funny, generous, spirited and kind' The Times This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage is an irresistible blend of literature and memoir revealing the big experiences and little moments that shaped Ann Patchett as a daughter, wife, friend and writer. Here, Ann Patchett shares entertaining and moving stories about her tumultuous childhood, her painful early divorce, the excitement of selling her first book, driving a Winnebago from Montana to Yellowstone Park, her joyous discovery of opera, scaling a six-foot wall in order to join the Los Angeles Police Department, the gradual loss of her beloved grandmother, starting her own bookshop in Nashville, her love for her very special dog and, of course, her eventual happy marriage. This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage is a memoir both wide ranging and deeply personal, overflowing with close observation and emotional wisdom, told with wit, honesty and irresistible warmth.
The social system of 'courtly love' soon spread after becoming popularized by the troubadours of southern France in the twelfth century. This book codifies life at Queen Eleanor's court at Poitiers between 1170 and 1174 into "one of those capital works which reflect the thought of a great epoch, which explain the secret of a civilization."
Japan has often been portrayed as a mysterious, sexless, troubled land. Birth rates and marriage rates have been decreasing for decades, and national surveys show that Japanese people are simply having less sex overall. But Japan is not so different from anywhere else—it’s simply on the leading edge of worldwide demographic shifts. Because of rigid norms around gender, marriage, childbearing, and work, and relatively strict immigration policies, Japan is also experiencing these shifts more acutely. In The Relationship People, Erika R. Alpert starts by exploring some of the factors that have contributed to later and less marriage and childbearing in Japan and elsewhere. Alpert then goes on to explore the disjuncture between what Japanese singles report as preventing them from getting married and popularly proposed solutions to this problem. Japanese singles point to economic factors, such as low income, as one of their most significant barriers to marriage. However, much of the popular discourse aimed at Japanese singles elides these economic concerns; instead, it encourages them to exert more personal effort to meet people in order to get married. These “marriage activities” (konkatsu) may take the form of signing up with a professional matchmaker, using an online dating site, or going to singles’ parties. By examining konkatsu from the perspective of matchmakers, clients, and online daters, Alpert looks at the linguistic processes of connection that underpin konkatsu and its successes—or more often, failures. Institutions of matchmaking and technological structures such as databases and online profiles give shape to the ways singles connect. As this research shows, understanding this linguistic connective tissue enables us to answer questions about what constitutes “attractive” and “marriageable” in Japan, what kind of consciousness konkatsu is supposed to instill in singles, and what role Japan’s various partner matching industries might be able to play in alleviating the country’s demographic crisis.
Life Is Never Mainly About Love and Marriage. So Learn to Live and Date for More. Many of you grew up assuming that marriage would meet all of your needs and unlock God's purposes for you. But God has far more planned for you than your future marriage. Not Yet Married is not about waiting quietly in the corner of the world for God to bring you "the one," but about inspiring you to live and date for more now. If you follow Jesus, the search for a spouse is no longer a pursuit of the perfect person, but a pursuit of more of God. He will likely write a love story for you different than the one you would write for yourself, but that's because he loves you and knows how to write a better story. This book was written to help you find real hope, happiness, and purpose in your not-yet-married life.