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This book explores the morality of love and sex, and how distortions of these sometimes develop into abuse. Hayes argues that there are strong similarities between different kinds of abusive relationships, and that these similarities arise out of the common narratives surrounding romantic love and the logic of intimate relationships.
This book offers a detailed road map for overcoming sexual and relationship impasses originating from painful childhood experiences. Large numbers of adults with histories of childhood trauma and neglect suffer persistent relationship and sexual difficulties. Unfortunately, most have failed to receive adequate help with emerging from these deep and complex problems. Coming Home to Passion: Restoring Loving Sexuality in Couples with Histories of Childhood Trauma and Neglect explores the enduring impacts—physiological, psychological, and behavioral—of childhood trauma and neglect. Author Ruth Cohn, drawing on 25 years of experience working with trauma survivors and their partners and families, lays out a practical and actionable course for recovery in clear, accessible language. This book provides direction and hope to those with trauma backgrounds while also serving as a unique resource for professional readers. Integrating in-depth information on attachment and relationship, trauma and neglect, and sexuality, Cohn details a practical, hands-on treatment approach for revitalizing love, health, and passion.
This work proposes a model for choosing the right intervention to solve the problems which are brought to therapy. The emphasis is on how to understand and control the many forms of violence (including incest and sexual abuse) that constitute a primary therapeutic problem of our time.
Considered a classic in its field, this comprehensive guide will help survivors of sexual abuse improve their relationships and discover the joys of sexual intimacy. Wendy Maltz takes survivors step-by-step through the recovery process using groundbreaking exercises and techniques. Based on the author's clinical work, interviews, and workshops, this guide is filled with first-person accounts of women and men at every stage of sexual healing. This compassionate resource helps survivors to: Identify the sexual effects of sexual abuse Eliminate negative sexual behavior and resolve specific problems Gain control over upsetting automatic reactions to touch and sex Develop a healthy sexual self-concept
Violence and abuse that occur behind closed doors are not just personal concerns or issues. Family violence is a major mental health, social service, health care, and criminal justice problem that society cannot continue to ignore. Violence and Sexual Abuse at Home gives you the facts of spouse/partner and child maltreatment, an analysis of the intervention and prevention techniques commonly used, and alternative approaches and theories for understanding and reducing instances of family abuse.The factors behind maltreatment are multiple and diverse. Because there are so many approaches to treating perpetrators and victims, choosing a treatment strategy can sometimes feel overwhelming. Use Violence and Sexual Abuse at Home to help you decide which treatment models will be most effective in particular situations. Don’t risk low success rates with your patients. This comprehensive guidebook can help you refine your treatment strategies, as you better your understanding of: mutual combat the ethical issues and legal mandates involved in reporting family maltreatment biological issues and aggression the causes of the physical maltreatment of children maltreatment of children with disabilities the debate surrounding “parent alienation syndrome” difficulties in diagnosing incest offenders the impact of child sexual maltreatment on the survivor’s sexuality and sexual functioning the repression, dissociation, and delayed recall of traumatic eventsViolence and Sexual Abuse at Home shows clinicians, researchers, advocates, and other professionals the importance of broadening their perspectives of all types of family maltreatment. Anyone working with people who abuse and/or with adults and children who are or have been abused should understand the developmental, social, psychological, cultural, and biological issues at play in violent home environments.
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that 80 percent of childhood abuse victims later suffer from at least one abuse-induced psychological disorder. It's proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow women into adulthood. Yet few men are prepared to deal with those effects, even when their own wife is the one who is suffering. And their wife's suffering becomes their own suffering as their needs aren't being met by a wife who is powerless to control her inner turmoil. Author, pastor, and survivor Dawn Scott Jones candidly shares her own abuse experience to help husbands understand the varied emotions, fears, distorted thoughts, and triggers that hold their wives captive. In practical and accessible language, Jones explains the stages of the healing journey (processing denial, asking for help, grieving, expressing anger, learning to forgive, and finding resolution). Building on that knowledge, Jones then moves to an honest discussion of what husbands can do to help. Whether it's creating a healing environment, understanding the need for control, building trust, or even just praying for healing, a husband plays an active role in helping his wife survive and thrive despite her past abuse. Offering hope for a healthy marriage relationship, When a Woman You Love Was Abusedanswers the questions men have and offers the advice they need to help their wives finally find peace.
The New York Times bestseller: “[A] brutally honest memoir of a brave, smart, fresh-faced young woman’s descent into domestic hell.” —Monica Holloway, author of Driving with Dead People At 22, Leslie Morgan Steiner seemed to have it all: a Harvard diploma, a glamorous job at Seventeen magazine, a downtown New York City apartment. Plus a handsome, funny, street-smart boyfriend who adored her. But behind her façade of success, this golden girl hid a dark secret. She’d made a mistake shared by millions: she fell in love with the wrong person. At first Leslie and Conor seemed as perfect together as their fairy-tale wedding. Then came the fights she tried to ignore: he pushed her down the stairs of the house they bought together, poured coffee grinds over her hair as she dressed for a critical job interview, choked her during an argument, and threatened her with a gun. Several times, he came close to making good on his threat to kill her. With each attack, Leslie lost another piece of herself. Gripping and utterly compelling, Crazy Love takes you inside the violent, devastating world of abusive love. Conor said he’d been abused since he was a young boy, and love and rage danced intimately together in his psyche. Why didn’t Leslie leave? She stayed because she loved him. Find out for yourself if she had fallen truly in love—or into a psychological trap. Crazy Love will draw you in—and never let go. “Compulsively readable.” —People “A must read for anyone in a consuming relationship.” —Iris Krasnow, New York Times–bestselling author
This book is for the silent sufferers -- the millions of men worldwide who are helping female partners recover from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. What About Me? is the end result of the painful and trying times journalist Grant Cameron encountered while helping his wife Liz deal with her abusive past. What About Me? will help men understand the issues surrounding childhood sexual abuse and prepare them for the rocky journey through the healing process with a survivor. It will help them understand why women who are healing say and do certain things. It will also give them a better understanding of their own actions and feelings.
"But what about me?" "Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?" "Will we ever make love again?" "Will the survivor love me in the end?" "How do I know if I should throw in the towel?" Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners—girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers—trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers: The Basics—answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing—introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings—teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis—includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication—offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex—provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues—suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories—explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.
The world-renowned therapist and author of the groundbreaking self-help classic, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, delves into the most destructive and powerful weapon of the abuser: shame. And reveals its most powerful antidote... In The Emotionally Abused Woman, therapist Beverly Engel introduced the concept of emotional abuse, one of the most subtle, yet devastating forms of abuse within a relationship. Now Engel exposes the most destructive technique the abuser uses to break our spirit and gain control--and guides readers on how to free themselves from the shame that can keep them from the life (and the love) they deserve. Emotionally abused people are gradually stripped of self-esteem, dignity, and humanity--making them feel unworthy and utterly powerless to escape. But they possess a potent tool with which to combat shame: self-compassion. In these pages, Engel shows how to access it. Using her highly effective Shame Reduction Program, she helps readers jumpstart the process of recovery by offering specific steps to help heal, regain self-confidence--and ultimately become empowered enough to leave--for good. An invaluable resource for both men and women who suffer from emotional abuse, as well as therapists and advocates, Escaping Emotional Abuse is a supportive, nurturing guide for anyone seeking to break the chains of shame, and gain the emotional freedom to create healthier, lasting relationships.