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This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life painful for their loved ones. Writing from firsthand experience, Allison identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her son in bondage—and how she overcame them. Additional real life stories from other parents are woven through the text. A tough–love book to help readers cope with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God Foreword by Carol Kent (When I Lay My Isaac Down)
How to recognize and cope with Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS): negative thoughts and feelings about your children"
Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.
Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.
More than 10 years after Parenting Your Adult Child was published, much has changed - including young adults themselves, as well as their parents. Economic upheavals, challenges to traditional values and beliefs, the phenomenon of over-involved "helicopter parenting" - all make relating to grown children more difficult than ever. Yet at the same time, being a parent of an adult child can bring great rewards. This revised and updated version of Dr. Gary Chapman's and Dr. Ross Campbell's message will help today's parents explore how to really love their adult child in today's changing world. The book includes brief sidebars from parents of adult children and adult children themselves with their own stories. An online study guide will also be available.
What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated Are your adult child’s mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it’s difficult to know what your “help” as a parent should look like. From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such as… drug addiction mental and emotional disabilities military trauma and PTSD personality disorders financial trouble depression and bipolar divorce incarceration …and so much more Whether you’re facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.
Discusses the creation of healthy boundaries and reinforced consequences to help children develop a sense of accountability for their own lives.
We are used to having our parents help us, but how do we handle it when the tables are turned and our parents are the ones who need help? Declining health, financial needs, divorce, relational issues—what’s an adult child’s role when their parents are struggling? Counselor Jim Newheiser understands the many types of challenges adults may face ...
DO YOU HAVE AN ADULT CHILD WHO IS ALWAYS IN CRISIS? Parents and grandparents around the country are struggling emotionally, spiritually and financially-living in chaos from one crisis to another concerning the poor choices being made by their adult children. They want desperately to help their adult children, and yet their repeated attempts to come to the rescue have not brought the expected results. Well-meaning parental enabling has fostered a vicious cycle of insanity that has reached epidemic proportion with catastrophic consequences. With almost 200,000 books sold in the popular Setting Boundaries(r) series, countless parents around the world have found hope, healing and SANITY since the release of Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents by Allison Bottke. This critically acclaimed book is a recommended resource by Focus on the Family, and it has hit #1 on various Amazon.com lists several times. With deep compassion and empathy for parents in pain, Allison has developed a SANITY Support Group workbook for use with the book to help parents set healthy boundaries. Hundreds of participants worldwide have already successfully completed the 6-Steps to SANITY and 12-Weeks to Freedom support group program. Following the six-step SANITY acronym, group members explore the difference between helping and enabling, why we enable and why we must stop, the power of love and forgiveness, what to do when drug, alcohol or other addictions are a component, how to develop an effective plan of action, and other vital issues surrounding this timely topic. This empowering 12-week program is specifically for those struggling with adult children over the age of 18, who are ready to embark on a life-changing journey to find hope, healing and freedom. The workbook is designed for small groups of any size and also includes step-by-step guidance for Group Leaders. All material in the acclaimed Setting Boundaries(r) series is faith-based. Allison is clear that her perspective on the issue is that of a Christian parent in pain. However, she invites readers of all faiths to learn how to set the necessary boundaries needed to survive as a parent of an adult child whose life is always in some type of drama, chaos or crisis. * Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will launch a brand new beginning in your life. You may feel you are in a desert place right now as you struggle with a parenting crisis, but be alert! There's a stream in the wasteland-and you can begin making hope-filled choices that will forever change your future for the better. Carol Kent, Speaker and Author * I just got your book today on Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children and finished it in about four hours. My son is in jail right now. I realized I am an enabler and codependent from other books, but I found your book very enlightening as to what to do about it other than just being told to stop. I need a SANITY Support Group, I need help to implement the SANITY process. ML * I began a mother's group using Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, and it was wonderful! We all loved it! We all still have kids (18 & over), and we really needed the encouragement and help. SR * Your book was a hard read for an enabler-after being a really good parent of small children, less of a good parent of teenagers and not very good at all of adult children. I have my own issues that I have been working on for years. I am the director of a Christian Counseling Center, and I'm motivated to be a better parent of adult children and to help those who are seeking help as well. WC * Thank you so much for writing the book, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I bought it from a bookstore here in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada and I read it out loud word-for-word with my husband! We are Christian parents and could not put the book down because it related so much to what we are going through. Thanks & God bless yo
Now a New York Times bestseller! If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory