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So there I was, roysh, class legend, schools rugby legend, basically all-round legend, when someone decides you can't, like, sit the Leaving Cert four times. Well that put a focking spanner in the works. But joining the goys at college wasn't the mare I thought it would be, basically for, like, three major reasons: beer, women and more women. And for once I agree with Fionn about the, like, education possibilities. I mean, where else can you learn about Judge Judy, laminating fake IDs and, like, how to order a Ken and snog a girl at the same time? I may be beautiful, roysh, but I'm not stupid and this much I totally know: college focking rocks.
So there I was, roysh, class legend, schools rugby legend, basically all-round legend, when someone decides you can't, like, sit the Leaving Cert four times. Well that put a focking spanner in the works. But joining the goys at college wasn't the mare I thought it would be, basically for, like, three major reasons: beer, women and more women. And for once I agree with Fionn about the, like, education possibilities. I mean, where else can you learn about Judge Judy, laminating fake IDs and, like, how to order a Ken and snog a girl at the same time? I may be beautiful, roysh, but I'm not stupid and this much I totally know: college focking rocks.
'FUNNIEST YET!' IRISH EXAMINER A love affair born in rural Ireland! Two mismatched lovers, locked in a relationship that will change both of them . . . forever! Ross O'Carroll-Kelly was brought up to believe that Gaelic games were invented for people too stupid to understand the laws of rugby. Little did he know that one day he would become a legend of Kerry football. But then, his life has taken a lot of unexpected twists and turns. His father is the Taoiseach of the country. His wife is an actual Government Minister. And his suddenly teenage daughter is heading for the Gaeltacht - and her very first rugby boyfriend. And then there's Marianne . . . Of course, Ross was too busy becoming a Gaelic football star to realise that his family - like the entire country - was being pushed towards a cliff edge. And he was the only man capable of saving Ireland's democracy. Which is just like, 'Fooooooock!' __________________________ 'I hope this series runs for decades' BELFAST TELEGRAPH 'Ross is a national institution' IRISH TIMES
Dara's mum is going to have a new baby. So, Dara will soon be a big brother! Being a big brother isn't going to be easy so Dara decides to practise. But what does a big brother do for a little baby?And how can Dara learn?
This is the latest instalment of the misadventures of Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - a hysterical satire of beer, bonking and rugby!
So there I was, roysh, putting the 'in' in 'in crowd', hanging out, pick of the babes, bills from the old pair to fund the lifestyle I, like, totally deserve. But being a schools rugby legend has its downsides, roysh, like all the total knobs wanting to chill in your, like, reflected glory, and the bunny-boilers who decide they want to be with me and won't take, like, no for an answer. And we're talking totally here. Basically, it may look like a champagne bath with, like, Nell McAndrew, with, like, no clothes and everything, but I can tell you, roysh, those focking bubbles can burst. And when they do ... OH MY GOD! Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is all meat and no preservatives, roysh, at least, that's what it says in the can in, like, one particular south Dublin girls' school, which shall remain nameless, roysh, basically to protect the names of the guilty. You know who you are.
This book offers a detailed engagement between the French philosopher Jacques Derrida and the contemporary Irish author Paul Howard, aka Ross O’Carroll-Kelly. The book offers insightful analyses of Derrida’s deconstructive theory with all its concepts, non-concepts and neologisms, thus showing how they can be used in order to provide a critique of the socio-linguistic realm of Howard’s fictional series. Through his work, Howard set in ink a depiction of Ireland, and specifically Dublin, throughout the Celtic Tiger era and its aftermath. The book promotes a dialogue between Derrida and Howard in order to cultivate a succinct and accessible overview of critical theory.
One man's story of life in The Joy -- compulsive, chilling and frank. A no-holds-barred account of a criminal's time in the notorious Dublin prison, as revealed to journalist Paul Howard. This extraordinary life story tells it all. The desperate lifestyle of a junkie; bullying and savage beatings among the prisoners; ingenious drug-smuggling ploys; the despairing cry for help of a failed suicide attempt. But alongside the pain there is humour -- from the hilarity of World Cup celebrations to the distraction of a beautiful aerobics teacher, from bingeing on altar wine to the shortest-ever "hunger strike". The first ever glimpse of Mountjoy Prison -- from the inside. Illustrated with black & white photographs.
So there I was, roysh, twenty-three years of age, still, like, gorgeous and rich, living off my legend as a schools rugby player, scoring the birds, being the man, when all of a sudden, roysh, life becomes a total mare. I don't have a Betty Blue what's wrong, but I can't eat, can't sleep, I don't even want to do the old beast with two backs, which means a major problem, and we're talking big time here. Normally my head is so full of, like thoughts, but now I'm down to just one: Sorcha, I'm playing it Kool and the Gang, but this is basically scary. I mean, I'm Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, for fock's sake, I don't do love.
The inside stories of Ireland's most famous abduction cases. In the late 1970s and early 1980s Ireland was hit by a spate of high-profile kidnappings: Lord and Lady Donoughmore, Belfast-based German industrialist Thomas Niedermayer, Ferenka chief Dr. Tiede Herrema, supermarket heir Ben Dunne, Quinnsworth's Don Tidey, and, bizarrely, the Aga Khan-owned Epson Derby-winner Shergar. The kidnappings had one thing in common -- they were all the work of paramilitary forces, carried out either as fund-raising efforts or for use as leverage to force the release of IRA prisoners. Hostage sheds new light on the Monasterevin siege, the ransom deals, the ordeals of the hostages, and how they were all rescued, except for Thomas Niedermayer, who, tragically, died, and Shergar, whose disappearance remains a mystery. It tells for the first time how the team was assembled to abduct billionaire Galen Weston, and why it all went wrong. Based on interviews with negotiators, hostages, gardai; and IRA sources, and the diary of one of the victims, Hostage reveals never-before-published details of these terrifying crimes.