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'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .
Need a good joke to brighten your day? Are you looking for jokes that you want to tell to your friends or family that actually work? Do you enjoy those moments where you laugh and then just can't stop? Do you want to experience more God's great gift of laughter? If you said yes to any of the following questions, then this book was made for you. Who said Christians couldn't laugh or enjoy God's gift of laughter? Adam Frasz writes this book as a reminder that anyone can have a good laugh from humor that is free of foul language and inappropriate content. You can enjoy a wide variety of jokes that talk about geography, college life, sports, the Bible, and church and all sorts of random topics. If you are interested in using pick-up lines for possible dates, there are some options in here too (if you dare). The title, Pundamentals, is a joke in and of itself and was thought of long before this book was published. Lastly, Frasz hopes that the laughter that comes from the jokes in his first book can be medicine for those who have rough days or are going through the trials of life. While this is a book was made for Christians, all are welcome to read this book and share jokes with others.
"Don't Label Me should be labeled as genius. It's an amazing book." - Chris Rock A unique conversation about diversity, bigotry, and our common humanity, by the New York Times bestselling author, Oprah “Chutzpah” award-winner, and founder of the Moral Courage Project In these United States, discord has hit emergency levels. Civility isn't the reason to repair our caustic chasms. Diversity is. Don't Label Me shows that America's founding genius is diversity of thought. Which is why social justice activists won't win by labeling those who disagree with them. At a time when minorities are fast becoming the majority, a truly new America requires a new way to tribe out. Enter Irshad Manji and her dog, Lily. Raised to believe that dogs are evil, Manji overcame her fear of the "other" to adopt Lily. She got more than she bargained for. Defying her labels as an old, blind dog, Lily engages Manji in a taboo-busting conversation about identity, power, and politics. They're feisty. They're funny. And in working through their challenges to one another, they reveal how to open the hearts of opponents for the sake of enduring progress. Readers who crave concrete tips will be delighted. Studded with insights from epigenetics and epistemology, layered with the lessons of Bruce Lee, Ben Franklin, and Audre Lorde, punctuated with stories about Manji's own experiences as a refugee from Africa, a Muslim immigrant to the U.S., and a professor of moral courage, Don't Label Me makes diversity great again.
The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
From giving as good as he got at the Harvard Lampoon to his comedic work in such films and TV shows as Donovan’s Reef, North to Alaska, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, I Love Lucy, Dean Martin Celebrity Roast and The Red Skelton Hour, John Wayne was never shy about exhibiting his wry, knowing sense of humor. It’s this facet of Duke that The Official John Wayne Big Book of Dad Jokes captures. A father of six children himself, Duke was no stranger to making kids crack up (or at least trying to). This book presents those stories of Duke as practical joker as well as willing victim, embedded within more than 400 clever, yet dreadful jokes, stories, riddles and puns, perfect for family members of every age. Some of the jokes are Duke- and Western-themed, but most are simply good, original Dad jokes: some good, some bad, some awful, but all funny. Readers will also find inside nearly three dozen fun photos of Duke exhibiting his good humor for all to see, laughing with his kids or fellow actors on set and behind the scenes, making this book a treasure for fans and fathers alike.
A strange and charming collection of hilariously absurd poetry, writing, and illustration from one of today's most popular young comedians?Ķ Bo Burnham was a precocious teenager living in his parents' attic when he started posting material on YouTube. 100 million people viewed those videos, turning Bo into an online sensation with a huge and dedicated following. Bo taped his first of two Comedy Central specials four days after his 18th birthday, making him the youngest to do so in the channel's history. Now Bo is a rising star in the comedy world, revered for his utterly original and intelligent voice. And, he can SIIIIIIIIING! In Egghead, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy to the page in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Teaming up with his longtime friend, artist, and illustrator Chance Bone, Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird book that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"
From the Borscht Belt shtick of Rodney Dangerfield to the urbane wit of Jerry Seinfeld, Jewish humor has had an enormous influence on modern comedy. Jokes about doctors, jokes about food, jokes about mothers--101 classics are in this book, along with witty essays and charming cartoons by Joe Kohl. 101 Classic Jewish Jokes is a must for every fan of Jewish humor--and anyone who needs a good laugh.
#NSFW Make Sure No One Is Watching Behind You! Q: Why was Jesus not born Indian? A: There couldn't be found a virgin or three wise men. A little laughter goes a long way and certainly, Naughty Adult Joke Book #5: Dirty, Funny And Slutty Jokes That Exploded The Indian Call Centre, will take you to a great length. It is certainly one of the richest collections of naughty jokes for the adult audience. The book's chapters sort the jokes by their lengths. Of the two chapters, one is a compilation of some of the funniest short jokes, and the other is a collection of extremely hilarious long jokes, each with its unique setting. Naughty jokes are appropriate for adults; they just require the right setting. You may not be found telling these jokes at a religious function, but at a social event with friends, the jokes in this book will be the highlight of the evening. Many people find it difficult to start a conversation, and good jokes can kickstart a lively conversation. Those who like to be the life of the party get their material from content as interesting as that presented in this book. Ever wondered how some people can keep an audience for the entire day or the evening? While a number are naturally humorous, others get their material from books like this one. Reading jokes works like reading any other kind of literature; the more you read, the more you shape your mind to think in that direction. Therefore, if you train your mind to notice the queer and the funny in various situations, then you will do so even in other unrelated situations. Suddenly, your life and your way of thinking will become more positive. To that end, it is hoped that this book will be the light that lights up your path because it will be creating a jolly mood on the inside, change how you perceive situations, and even change how you relate with others. You will become good at initiating conversations and a fun person that people will constantly look forward to speaking with. You will also teach others around you to initiate the change that you have just initiated. Overall, reading these jokes is certainly going to make you feel better and in control of what happens in and around you. Act now by reading this special book today and begin the movement that turns around the lives of people with humor! Inside this book you will find: - Age-appropriate jokes - A vast collection of long jokes that provide context to make them relatable to the readers - The most interesting collection of short jokes that makes them easy to read on the go - The most well-ordered compilation of adult humor jokes - Some of the most humorous jokes you want to tell your friends - A list of some of the most good-natured jokes, none is trashy or disgusting - Some of the most all-inclusive jokes that cross the boundaries of race, color, sexual orientation, religion, and, other demarcations - Some of the most simple-worded jokes to promote understanding across the audience spectrum - The most easy-worded jokes that promote memory, so you can tell them to your friends Start Cumming Laughing Today By Clicking The "BUY NOW" Button
"Don't Label Me should be labeled as genius. It's an amazing book." - Chris Rock A unique conversation about diversity, bigotry, and our common humanity, by the New York Times bestselling author, Oprah “Chutzpah” award-winner, and founder of the Moral Courage Project In these United States, discord has hit emergency levels. Civility isn't the reason to repair our caustic chasms. Diversity is. Don't Label Me shows that America's founding genius is diversity of thought. Which is why social justice activists won't win by labeling those who disagree with them. At a time when minorities are fast becoming the majority, a truly new America requires a new way to tribe out. Enter Irshad Manji and her dog, Lily. Raised to believe that dogs are evil, Manji overcame her fear of the "other" to adopt Lily. She got more than she bargained for. Defying her labels as an old, blind dog, Lily engages Manji in a taboo-busting conversation about identity, power, and politics. They're feisty. They're funny. And in working through their challenges to one another, they reveal how to open the hearts of opponents for the sake of enduring progress. Readers who crave concrete tips will be delighted. Studded with insights from epigenetics and epistemology, layered with the lessons of Bruce Lee, Ben Franklin, and Audre Lorde, punctuated with stories about Manji's own experiences as a refugee from Africa, a Muslim immigrant to the U.S., and a professor of moral courage, Don't Label Me makes diversity great again.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off! Filled with more filth than three-week old underwear, this little collection of obscene one-liners, smutty shenanigans and graphic gags will have you blushing like a freshly spanked bottom and sniggering like a naughty school kid.