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Mark Hayes has been dubbed "Ireland's craziest and wittiest writer, a poet at times". Saying that, he has also been called "the runt of Irish litter-ature" so take your pick. Before the #1 Amazon Humour book RANDUMB: THE ADVENTURES OF AN IRISH GUY IN LA there was PREDUMB, the hilarious stories of Mark growing up in Cork, the real capital of Ireland, as they like to call it. This is a me-moir of sorts, the history of Mark Hayes, although if his parents are within earshot he will tell you it is all lies and slander. Sex in the mud? Never. Stabbing himself by mistake? No clue. Thrown in jail? Stealing from the deaf? Becoming a hairdresser in the name of lust? Blasphemy! All that stuff about wearing grannies' clothes, frolicking in Germany and mother and daughter sexcapades all before the age of sixteen? Complete and utter spoof. Don't mention the first-class trip to Hong Kong to become a model either, just a fairytale. Particularly the part about waking up naked being hosed down by an angry Chinese man. One thing for certain is that this book has everything you need for a laugh. So go on, buy it. See what all the fuss is about.
Follows the story of an Irish man who chases his dream from Ireland to Los Angeles.
Reprint of the original, first published in 1862.
One day in August of a certain year, Malibu started to burn and go up in flames. The whole countryside was on fire. Houses, ranches, and livelihoods all burned to the ground. It was unreal. Malibu was burning. It was at this time that Mark saw people (clowns) online posting photos of their asses and naked bodies and lingerie shots holding up LA signs saying how sad they were that Malibu is burning. So sad. The next day Mark started writing sextpoems. Short, poetic tales describing his anguish for Malibu. The written equivalent of those photos. How it made him feel the same as those people. So sad. So horny. So so. The devastation just made everyone want to get naked, apparently. Ever since Mark has kept writing these sextpoems. People kept paying him to write more. He knows, ludicrous. Thousands and thousands of dollars to write more and more sextpoems. So really, this book is a bargain. Over 100 sextpoems. In chronological order. They're all there. Book two on the way. And yes. Mark knows. It's sad. He's sorry. Tut. So sad. So harny. So enjoy.
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