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You aren't a licensed marriage and family therapist. You didn't do a doctoral dissertation on pastoral counseling. You're simply God's person caring for God's people in the local church. And the marriages in your church need help. Many pastors feel ill-equipped to handle the challenges that arise when a couple is going through marital difficulties. They feel lost and inadequate. What do you say? What counsel do you offer? Should I say anything or just listen? Do I schedule a follow-up appointment? Do I ask questions? What questions? If you are or have been in this situation before, this book offers you a practical guide to get started with the first sessions and then offers specific guidance on nine of the most common topics that come up in marriage counseling. Author and pastor Jonathan Holmes offers a solid, biblical theology and methodology to help you navigate through the world of marriage counseling with the fundamental conviction that God's word is powerful enough to address the deepest of marital issues, and robust enough to handle whatever might come your way. In each chapter, you'll meet a new couple dealing with a different issue, much like the people in your church, office, and neighborhood. Through the book you'll also hear advice from several respected voices in the biblical counseling community. Whether you're a novice or already knowledgeable, Counsel for Couples provides theologically sound and biblically practical tools to help you as you help couples in need.
The cover shows a picture of my daughter and her husbands wedding rings and bouquet. This is only a relevant choice since in my first book, I gave advice to young people about marriage and courtship. My daughter Jessica met her husband, David, over three years ago, but it is such a fairy-tale story that I had to share a little of it with the reader. So many times, young people feel trapped by peer pressure to engage in promiscuous activities before engagement and marriage. I read that the unwed mothers rate has doubled, according to statistics. Google states that statistics from the Mississippi Department of Health states that the overall rate of births to unwed mothers was 54.7 percent in 2010. It was 28 percent in 1980. Dig a little deeper into this report, and the numbers become downright scary. Thirteen counties reported unwed birth rates of over 75 percent. Looking at these statistics, there seems to be a decline in Gods moral principle of chastity. For a young couple to start a marriage as both couple being virgins seems to be pretty rare. That is one reason I wanted to share this about David and Jessicato encourage others to not be promiscuous during their courtship. As I stated earlier, David and Jessica have known each other over three years. They met in the church. Our church has an orchestra. They both played instruments in the orchestra. They were very young when they met. Neither one had an idea that one day God would put them both together as husband and wife. They both desired an educational mastery to be successful in life. Like Solomon, I guess you can say they sought wisdom and knowledge. They waited until they required mastery in knowledge before they decided to settle down and get married. Our youth today seems not to be asking for proficiency in wisdom and knowledge, but the youth, according to statistics I read earlier, are becoming adults before they have matured in the mastery of wisdom and knowledge. I am so glad that Jessica and David waited and was not promiscuous during their courtship, but followed Gods standard for a holy and righteous life. Sure, young people may make mistakes, but it is our job as Christian adults to not abuse them but to train them to respect Gods way and principles. I believe that even if we train our children in righteousness and they later depart, it will remain with them in life (Prov. 22: 6), and it will cause them to return to God in honest and true confessions to God from the heart. God is looking on the heart of people. He doesnt care about our outward adorning, but he does care about our heart. For God knows whether or not were just and honest or living in hypocrisy and sin. I just believe if we acknowledge God in all our ways even when were young we can avoid many pitfalls in life. Young people live pure and righteous lives before God and like David and Jessica, and my husband and I, you can experience wedded bliss and happiness. For he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord (Prov. 18:22).
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
We live in a time of great uncertainty about relationships. We search for "The One," but find ourselves staying single because nobody measures up. The reality of our relationships is not what we expected, and it becomes hard to balance it with all the other things that we want out of life. At the same time that marriage shows itself to be the one 'recession proof' industry; the rates of separation and break-up soar ever higher. Rewriting the Rules is a friendly guide through the complicated - and often contradictory - rules of love: the advice that is given about attraction and sex, monogamy and conflict, gender and commitment. It asks questions such as: which to choose from all the rules on offer? Do we stick to the old rules we learnt growing up, or do we try something new and risk being out on our own? This book considers how the rules are being 'rewritten' in various ways, for example the 'new monogamy', alternative commitment ceremonies, different ways of understanding gender, and new ideas for managing conflict and break-up where economics and child-care make complete separation a problem. In this way Rewriting the Rules gives the power to the reader to find the approach which fits their situation.
College is much more than the start of a new career path. While students are trying to discover who they are, they often discover love along the way. Some say they aren't ready to settle down, but those same people might wind up in committed relationships long before they graduate. Maintaining that relationship through the uncertainties of college, however, is not easy. In this opinionated and often humorous guide, Stephen Phillips cuts the crap and removes the security blanket from traditional love advice. In Love And College puts it all in a nutshell, covering the most common issues - and issues you may not have considered - that arise in college relationships. Whether you're actively seeking commitment or you already have it, this practical guide to practical relationships puts you and your partner in control of the romance, communication, and compromise needed to stay afloat if, and when, things get difficult.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
I know of no better guide for couples who genuinely desire a maturing relationship.M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled A remarkable bookthe most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships. Ann Roberts, former president, Rockefeller Family Fund
Originally published in the early 1930s this learned work on Sex and Marriage presents in a realistic and practical manner the essential facts of mating and reproduction whilst also dealing with common sexual and marital problems which confront the average couple.Contents Include: Fitness for Marriage The Biology of Marriage The Male Sex Organs The Female Sex Organs Reproduction Problems of Reproduction Prevention of Conception The Art of Marriage Sex Technique and Orgasm Sexual Disharmonies Health in Marriage etc. Illustrated. Many of the earliest books, particularly those dating back to the 1900s and before, are now extremely scarce and increasingly expensive. Home Farm Books are republishing these classic works in affordable, high quality, modern editions, using the original text and artwork.
Many Christian books talk about sexual issues within broader works on marriage, but few resources comprehensively and biblically guide couples specifically on sexual intimacy. God, Sex, and Your Marriage challenges the common assumptions couples have about sexuality and presents the richer biblical narrative of sex as a metaphor of God’s covenant love. Dr. Juli Slattery applies that biblical framework to the practical challenges in sexual intimacy. Godly sexuality extends far beyond sexual purity and calls us to sexual integrity. God invites every couple to view their sexual relationship, including their greatest struggles, as an avenue to learn about the nature of His covenant love. It’s God desire to make us more like Himself and sex within marriage is often a powerful training ground for godly character. That desire gives purpose and context to addressing pornography, healing from past wounds, sexual incompatibility, pursuing pleasure together, and forgiveness.