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Romantic relationships can be difficult, but to browse the shelves for advice, readers are mostly introduced to the woman’s viewpoint and concerns. Seldom do books address the innermost thoughts, feelings, fears, and concerns of men in relationships. Through the use of in-depth psychological insights, noted author-psychologist Herb Goldberg, takes the reader through twelve phases of romantic relationships. From the initial excitement to the time when things fall apart, he explores the “gender undertow,” prescribes remedies, and describes the healthy relationship from both perspectives, offering tips and advice for both men and women. Taking his starting point from the perspective of men in relationships, Goldberg lays out the concerns many men have – from fears of intimacy to the recognition that one’s partner may not be perfect. Addressing the most common problems that may stem from these relationship troubles, he guides readers through the fears and troubles that may arise and offers cogent advice in an effort to bring men and women together in healthier and more intimate unions.
Are you afraid of or unable to create intimacy or closeness with your intimate partner? Do you find that sometimes you create emotional, communicative, or even physical distance from that special someone in your life, even when, deep down, you really don't want to? If so, you share the relationship style psychologists refer to as the distancer. Distancers are often afraid of being engulfed or controlled by their partners. They fear rejection, vulnerability, and dependence. Sadly, they also tend to have short and unhappy relationships. If you want to stop running from love in your life, this book offers a simple, step-by-step approach you can use to move beyond your fear of intimacy and start building strong and lasting relationships. The exercises and self-evaluations in the book will help you become aware of how you operate in romantic relationships. You'll review and reassess your relationship patterns, deciding what changes you want to make in future relationships. Then you'll commit to actions that can make it happen.
Nearly all human beings want a lasting, happy relationship, but in many cases it just doesn’t work out. Some people seem always to fall in love with the wrong kind of person. With others, the relationship breaks down just when it is becoming closer. And some live with a partner but still feel lonely and isolated. What is going wrong? ’In the final analysis, fear of commitment is at the bottom of many relationship problems,‘ says the expert on fear of commitment Stefanie Stahl. In vivid case histories, the German psychotherapist shows the many ways in which fear of commitment manifests itself. She explains the typical behavior patterns of those who fear commitment, introducing the ’hunters‘, ’princesses‘ and ’stonewallers‘. The famous German psychologist illustrates why fear of commitment is genuine fear, explains possible causes and shows how to overcome it. Anyone who has read this book will know how to recognize people who fear commitment and how to deal with them. A helpful book for those affected and for their partners.
“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
Inner bonding is the process of connecting our adult thoughts with our instinctual, gut feelings—the feelings of the "inner child"—so that we can minimize painful conflict within ourselves. Free of inner conflict, we feel peaceful, open to joy, and open to giving and receiving love. Margaret Paul, coauthor of Healing Your Aloneness, explores how abandonment of the inner child leads to increasingly negative and destructive feelings of low self-worth, codepenclence, addiction, shame, powerlessness, and withdrawal from relationships. Her breakthrough inner bonding process teaches us to heal past wounds through reparenting and clearly demonstrates how we can learn to parent in the present. Real-life examples illustrate the dynamics of the healing process and show the benefits we can expect in every facet of our lives and in all our relationships. Inner Bonding provides the tools we need to forge and maintain the inner unity that makes our family, sexual, work, and social relationships productive, honest, and joyful.
A powerful CBT approach to help you find freedom from obsessive relationship anxiety, doubt, and fear of commitment Do you obsess over your partner’s flaws? Does thinking about the future of your relationship leave you imagining the worst-case scenario? When it comes to navigating the world of romantic relationships, some feelings of anxiety, doubt, and fear are to be expected. But if your fears so extreme that they threaten to destroy an otherwise healthy relationship, you may have relationship OCD—a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that causes chronic obsessive doubt and anxiety in relationships. So, how can you free yourself to discover deeper intimacy and security? Relationship OCD offers an evidence-based, cognitive behavioral approach to finding relief from relationship anxiety, obsessive doubt, and fear of commitment. You’ll learn to challenge the often-distorted thought patterns that trigger harmful emotions, increase your ability to think rationally, and ultimately accept the presence of intrusive thinking while maintaining the values of a healthy relationship. Relationships are the ultimate unknown. If you’re ready to let go of needing to know for sure, this book will help you find satisfaction and thrive in your romantic relationships—in all their wonderful uncertainty.
They wrote the definitive book of the fear of commitment, Men Who Can't Love. They also coined the term 'commitmentphobia'. Now, drawing from in-depth interviews, as well as his own personal struggle with commitment, Carter takes the next step with this book, offering concrete solutions for finding and keeping long-term love. Falling in love and staying in love requires its own kinds of heroism. Our hearts have to be brave as well as loving. That is because it takes real courage to love; it takes real courage to make a commitment. This book is about finding that courage.
Everyone thrives on love, comfort, and the safety of family, friends, and community. But if you are denied these basic comforts early in life, whether through a lack of physical affection or emotional bonding, you may develop intense fears of abandonment that can last well into adulthood—fears so powerful that they can actually cause you to push people away. If you suffer from fears of abandonment, you may have underlying feelings of anger, shame, fear, anxiety, depression, and grief. These emotions are intense and painful, and when they surface they can lead to a number of negative behaviors, such as jealousy, clinging, and emotional blackmail. In Love Me, Don’t Leave Me, therapist Michelle Skeen combines acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), schema therapy, and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) to help you identify the root of your fears. In this book you’ll learn how schema coping behaviors—deeply entrenched and automatic behaviors rooted in childhood experiences and fears—can take over and cause you to inadvertently sabotage your relationships. By recognizing these coping behaviors and understanding their cause, you will not only gain powerful insights into your own mind, but also into the minds of those around you. If you are ready to break the self-fulfilling cycle of mistrust, clinginess, and heartbreak and start building lasting, trusting relationships, this book will be your guide.
A respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide to sexual and emotional fulfillment.
The best-selling author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships explains how to build trust—the essential ingredient in successful relationships—in spite of fear or past betrayals Most relationship problems are essentially trust issues, explains psychotherapist David Richo. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust—both in ourselves and in our partner. Daring to Trust explores the importance of trust throughout our emotional lives: how it develops in childhood and how it becomes an essential ingredient in healthy adult relationships. It offers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships. Topics include: • How we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them) • Why we fear trusting • Developing greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others • How to know if someone is trustworthy • Naïve trust vs. healthy, adult trust • What to do when trust is broken Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear.